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Jewish Monuments: 4 Signs They Need Cleaning

Professional Monument Cleaning & Repairs - St. Charles Monuments

In Judaism, paying respects to deceased family members and friends is paramount. Observing the Yahrzeit is one way that Jewish people do this. Holding a proper Jewish monument unveiling ceremony is another way that Jewish people pay respects to their families. As Jewish monuments weather over time, they can become quite worn. In this blog post, we’ll explain how headstones become dirty, and the steps that you can take to restore them to their original beauty.

How do Headstones Become Dirty?

As a natural consequence of time and the conditions surrounding them, Jewish monuments tend to lose their initial sheen. Unfortunately, this is not preventable.

It’s hard to imagine that a worn-down Jewish monument could ever match its former beauty. But, with the proper cleaning and restoration strategies, we can make your monument as beautiful as it was when you first bought it.

 

1. Grass Accumulation

The Problem

Most Jewish cemeteries have staff on-hand to maintain the grounds, and cutting the grass is key among these responsibilities. It’s common for recently cut grass to end up on the headstone, and gradually fall to the bottom. This grass then dirties the base of the headstone.

The Solution

Theoretically, it makes sense that you should use the same substance to clean the Jewish monument as you would to clean your granite countertop. In practice, though, this is far from the truth.

Granite cleaner will likely scratch the monument. The same is true for wire and metal brushes.

Instead, the best approach is to use more delicate and basic materials. Spraying the Jewish gravestone with water and using a soft scrub brush is often the best tactic. This technique will remove grime from the headstone, without altering the text, pictures or symbols on the headstone. Mastering this technique, though, can be difficult. Despite its simplicity, this task is best handled by a professional, who will minimize the potential for damage.

 

2. Lichen

The Problem

Often found in cemeteries, lichen can prove quite damaging for headstones. Growing wider each year, lichen can be green, gray, yellow, or orange. It can be on the base of the Jewish monument, or over the inscripted area. Eventually, this invasive species can affect the inscription.

The Solution

It’s difficult to fully remove lichen. Even if you can remove all traces of the invasive species from the Jewish monument itself, it will often resurface later on. Engaging in more strategic methods of lichen removal– eliminating it at its source– is the only way to prevent regrowth.

lichen on headstone

 

3. Sinking Jewish Monument

The Problem

Weak soil could lead the headstone to sink into the ground over time. In doing so, it could obscure the name of the individual, or the carefully selected Jewish epitaph. This will cause the monument to look quite worn down.

The Solution

Fortunately, there is a simple way to stop a headstone from sinking, and prevent future sinking. A stone base will prevent the monument from sinking further into the ground. This will also improve the aesthetic appeal of the monument. This physical adjustment may also limit the potential for lichen to spread.

 

4. Fading Lettering/ Cracked Headstone

The Problem

Upon purchasing a Jewish monument, the lettering will be easily readable. After years in the open air, though, this lettering has the potential to fade quite a bit. The inability to read the name of the individual can limit the cathartic effect of visiting a deceased loved one.

By design, cemeteries are open areas. Rain, snow, and other precipitation will reach headstones. This precipitation could cause a small or large crack to develop over time. This will detract from the nostalgic impact that the headstone should have.

before and after cleaning of Jewish single headstones

The Solution

Even after a thorough cleaning, Jewish monument lettering may still be faded, and possibly, unreadable. A talented headstone cleaner can easily use engraving tools to refurbish the lettering.

Alternatively, many families choose to add new lettering, even while the headstone is in the ground. This is a common choice for families who wanted to add a new row of lettering, but lacked the finances to do so at the time.

Fixing the lettering on the monument will ensure that people will be able to read these important details.

 


 

Professional Monument Cleaning by Fox Memorials

At Fox Memorials, we strive to enable our family of customers to properly pay their respects to family members. Hiring professional cleaners to perform routine maintenance is the most efficient way to keep these headstones clean. Contact the team at Fox Memorials to ensure that your loved one’s headstone is taken care of.

How to Avoid Emotional Overspending for Funeral Services

When a loved one dies, you may feel compelled to make a grand gesture, to show how much you loved them. This can lead to spending a lot of money on their Jewish funeral, depleting savings or even falling into debt. Elements like casket selection, flowers, or obituaries can all add up. As a result, it leads to a bill far beyond what your loved one would want you to pay. So, what exactly is emotional overspending, and how can you recognize and avoid it?

 

What is Emotional Overspending?

Emotional overspending is selecting services or merchandise due to the “need to have it” versus a necessary purchase. Your emotions may compel you to buy an ornate casket in the perfect style to compliment your mother’s outfit. Or, you may want to pay $1,000 in flowers, consolation gifts or even on an obituary (it happens). After suffering a terrible loss, it’s natural to want to prove that money is no object when saying goodbye.

Does this sound familiar? Many people experience this when planning for a wedding. You can be paying off a wedding dress for years, and it’s the same principle with a casket. Cars and vacations are another expense where emotional overspending is common. If you recognize some of these areas in your own life, it’s especially important to plan ahead. This will help you avoid overspending in moments of grief.

Woman and child standing by grave in mourning

Some Ways to Combat Overspending

There are several ways to combat emotion overspending, both for yourself, and for your family. The simplest thing to do is to plan ahead. We know that death is inevitable. So, begin by looking into life insurance or a pre-paid funeral contract. Either of these options will provide funds to take care of your funeral services. This means that your family will have the means to pay for it. It’s also important to discuss your wishes. Do you want to have a horse-drawn carriage carry your casket through the cemetery? Or maybe you want to ensure that a reception can be held afterwards at your favorite restaurant?

jewish headstone with raised base

By simply writing down your wishes, and discussing them, you can give your family peace of mind that they don’t need to spend an outrageous amount on you. This can ultimately help them through their grief. Spending time together and sharing love now will also reassure them that you know they love you, and when the time comes they may not feel that same sense of need to overspend. If you are the one making the funeral arrangements after a death has occurred, there are also ways to avoid emotional overspending in that moment.

 

Did you know?

In the same way you can pre-plan your funeral services, you can pre-plan your monument. Families may feel compelled to have a cemetery monument or headstone that is ornate and outside of the family budget. With so many etchings, lettering, epitaphs, and more to choose from, the cost can add up. A simple way to avoid this is to pre-plan your cemetery monument.

 

When Making Arrangements

You may feel overwhelmed in the moment of planning the funeral arrangements. Lots of different options are being thrown at you, and you will be under a tremendous amount of stress while being asked to make dozens of decisions. It is easy to get overwhelmed, or hyper-focused on a big ticket item. Remember that expensive casket? Six months after the funeral you won’t even remember what it looks like, but you’ll still be paying it off on your credit card.

  • Have a budget in mind going into the funeral arrangements. There will be some unavoidable costs, like the cremation fee, or the use of the hearse, but an overall sense of what you really have available to spend will help you in making your decisions.
  • Have a family member or close friend come to the arrangements to hold you accountable. You’ll be surprised how much this strength and support can help you stay on track.
  • Look to your family and friends for talents to use to personalize the service.  A poet who can write a special verse to read, or a musician who can sing or play an instrument can add value to the service. There are lots of creative, yet inexpensive ways to personalize a funeral service. This also serves to demonstrates your love for the deceased without stressing your budget.
jewish funeral

Remember, it is the experience itself that everyone will remember, but only you will be footing the bill.

 

Conclusion

At Fox Memorials, we’ve been guiding Long Island’s Jewish community through losses and grief for decades. By providing high-quality custom headstones and monuments, we help our clients say goodbye at fair and affordable rates. Jewish monuments are the most personal, enduring tributes to the lives and legacies of your lost loved one.

3 Common Mistakes of Memorial Planning

jewish mourning

Planning a funeral or memorial service is never easy. After the loss of a loved one, you are faced with a multitude of decisions while coping with grief. Naturally, making mistakes during this time is common, especially if you are unfamiliar with the memorial planning process. Even if you are preplanning a service for yourself, it’s easy to overlook important details. By understanding common pitfalls, you can make the process smoother, less stressful, and more meaningful for everyone involved.

At Fox Memorials, we have decades of experience guiding families through memorial planning in Long Island’s Jewish community. In this post, we’ll highlight three common memorial planning mistakes and share tips to avoid them.

1. Not Exploring Funeral Providers

One of the most common mistakes families make during memorial planning is failing to explore multiple funeral providers. Many people assume that the first funeral home they contact will suffice. According to the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), the main reasons families choose a particular funeral provider often include prior experience, familiarity with the staff, location, or reputation. While these factors are important, they don’t always guarantee the best service or value.

Here are some tips to ensure you select the right funeral home, crematory, or cemetery:

  • Compare multiple providers: Visit or call at least 2–3 funeral homes to compare services and pricing.
  • Ask for itemized pricing: Many funeral homes offer similar products and services at different costs. Knowing the exact breakdown can help you make a more informed decision.
  • Check reviews and references: Online reviews, testimonials, and word-of-mouth recommendations can help you gauge the quality of service provided.
  • Consider location: Convenience for family and guests is important, but it shouldn’t be the only factor.
  • Review service options: Ensure the funeral provider offers the specific type of memorial service you want, whether it’s traditional burial, cremation, or a personalized ceremony.

Memorial planning is highly personal, and taking the time to explore providers allows you to find a team that will honor your loved one with care, respect, and professionalism.

2. Not Asking Questions

After the loss of a loved one, grief can be overwhelming, making it difficult to focus on the details of memorial planning. Many people make the mistake of not asking enough questions, which can lead to miscommunication, unnecessary expenses, or a service that doesn’t reflect the life and legacy of their loved one.

Whether you are planning a funeral in advance or after a loved one has passed, asking questions is critical. Here’s why:

  • Understand all available options: Funeral homes offer a wide range of services, from traditional Jewish funerals to cremation and customized memorial services.
  • Ensure transparency: Questions about pricing, timelines, and procedures help prevent unexpected costs or delays.
  • Personalize the service: Asking about options for caskets, urns, monuments, or keepsakes ensures the service reflects your loved one’s personality and faith.
  • Reduce stress: Knowing what to expect during memorial planning reduces confusion and anxiety during an already emotional time.

Good funeral homes, like Fox Memorials, provide a wide range of resources to guide families through every step of planning. Staff members are trained to answer questions, never pressure families, and explain all available options so you can make informed choices. Additionally, if you feel unsure about making decisions alone, it’s perfectly acceptable to bring a trusted friend or family member to appointments to offer support and help you weigh options.

Some questions you may want to ask include:

  • What is included in the base cost of a funeral or memorial service?
  • Are there options for eco-friendly or green burials?
  • Can we customize the service with special readings, music, or rituals?
  • Do you offer preplanning services or payment plans?
  • How are monument and headstone orders handled?

Asking detailed questions ensures that every aspect of your memorial planning is thoughtful, deliberate, and tailored to honor your loved one’s legacy.

3. Not Telling Anyone Your Wishes

Another common mistake in memorial planning is failing to communicate your funeral wishes. According to NFDA data, 62.5% of consumers believe it is important to share funeral wishes with family members, yet only 21.4% actually do so. Many people assume that casually mentioning preferences is enough, but without formal documentation, family members may forget, misinterpret, or disagree about what was intended.

Documenting your wishes and sharing them with your family can:

  • Reduce stress for loved ones: Family members grieving the loss will not have to make difficult decisions without guidance.
  • Prevent conflicts: Clear instructions can prevent disagreements about service type, burial location, or other important details.
  • Ensure your wishes are honored: From music choices to headstone inscriptions, documenting your preferences ensures the service reflects your vision.

Ways to document your wishes include:

  • Preplanning and registering your funeral with a chosen provider.
  • Creating a written plan that details your preferences, including burial, cremation, flowers, and music.
  • Discussing your plan openly with family members and sharing copies of all documents.
  • Utilizing online or digital memorial planning tools provided by funeral homes.

Memorial planning is not just about logistics; it’s about leaving a legacy that represents your values, faith, and personality. By sharing your wishes clearly, you lift the burden from your family and ensure that the memorial service is meaningful and respectful.

Additional Memorial Planning Tips

Beyond avoiding the three main mistakes, there are several other considerations that can improve the memorial planning process:

1. Consider Preplanning

Preplanning your memorial or funeral service offers peace of mind and helps protect your family from emotional and financial stress. Preplanning allows you to:

  • Choose the type of service, burial, or cremation you prefer.
  • Select monuments, headstones, or keepsakes in advance.
  • Lock in pricing and payment plans.
  • Ensure your cultural or religious traditions are honored, such as Jewish memorial customs.

2. Budget Thoughtfully

Funeral and memorial costs can vary widely. Consider creating a realistic budget that includes:

  • Funeral home or cremation fees.
  • Cemetery or burial costs.
  • Monuments, headstones, or grave markers.
  • Flowers, programs, and other personalized touches.
  • Transportation and reception arrangements.

By planning ahead and understanding costs, you can make informed choices without overspending during a stressful time.

3. Honor Cultural and Religious Traditions

Religious and cultural practices often guide memorial planning. For Jewish families, for example, there are specific traditions around burial, mourning, and headstone inscriptions. At Fox Memorials, we specialize in creating Jewish family monuments that honor faith and tradition while preserving the memory of your loved one for generations.

4. Personalize the Service

Memorial services are an opportunity to celebrate the life and legacy of your loved one. Consider including personal touches such as:

  • Photo slideshows or video tributes.
  • Favorite music, readings, or poems.
  • Memory-sharing sessions or guest book messages.
  • Custom headstone designs that reflect hobbies, interests, or religious symbols.

5. Lean on Professionals

Planning a memorial can feel overwhelming. Experienced funeral directors and monument specialists provide guidance, handle logistics, and help make informed decisions. Choosing a trusted provider ensures your memorial planning process is smooth and dignified.

Conclusion – Fox Memorials

Memorial planning is never easy, but with careful attention, clear communication, and thoughtful preparation, it can become a meaningful way to honor your loved one’s life. Avoiding common mistakes—like not exploring funeral providers, not asking questions, and not sharing your wishes—can make a significant difference in the process.

At Fox Memorials, we specialize in creating beautiful, personalized Jewish family monuments that celebrate life, faith, and tradition. Our experienced team is here to guide you through every step of memorial planning, from selecting a service to designing a lasting tribute that reflects the life and legacy of your loved one. With decades of experience serving Long Island’s Jewish community, we help families navigate this emotional journey with care, respect, and compassion.

For more information on memorial planning, monument options, or preplanning services, contact Fox Memorials today and speak with our knowledgeable team.

10 Things You Should Know About Jewish Funerals

older woman with family member

In the Jewish tradition, there’s no honor more sacred than helping to bury someone, because it is a favor that cannot be returned. Also, it’s an honor people often avoid: death is frightening, graves are sad, and loss is painful. Of course, Jewish funeral etiquette is slightly different from secular or Christian American customs. In this post, we’ll explore ten things you should know about attending Jewish funerals. 
 

1. Don’t Stay Away

Obviously, it may be tempting to “have a prior commitment” when there’s a death that occurs within our circle of friends. However, it’s a positive thing to attend funerals, even when you have only a vague relationship with the deceased. Of course, the deceased won’t know you’re there, but to the mourners, it’s a comfort to be in the company of their community, especially their friends.

2. Your Presence is Important

Basically, you don’t need to say too much to mourners. In fact, the less said, the better. Obviously, nothing you say is going to heal their pain. What will help most is your presence at the funeral or at shiva. Sincerely express your condolences if you must, but in Jewish tradition, there’s no need to say anything at all unless the mourner initiates the conversation. Mostly, what will help is for you to let them know that they have supportive friends at their side. 

3. Wear Comfortable Shoes

Dress nicely, but wear sensible shoes if you’re going to the graveside. Cemetery grounds are often extremely plushy, often wet and muddy grass. If it will be difficult to walk in those shoes, they’ll be miserable in a cemetery. You don’t want to be trapped in the mud by very expensive (and ruined) stiletto heels.

4. Keep Behavior Respectful

If you find friends there, just remember that this is a funeral: speak quietly. Once the service begins, be quiet. Turn off your cell phone for the service.

5. Listening

There is very little required of the congregation at a funeral. Your job is simply to be present. There will be a few prayers, some psalms, a eulogy, and traditional prayers, El Maleh Rachamim and the Mourner’s Kaddish. Say “amen” along with the congregation, if you wish. The reward for listening is that you’ll learn things about this person that you didn’t know before. You may hear some wonderful stories.

6. Following Directions

The funeral director will give directions before and after the service. Do whatever he or she prompts you to do: park here, sit there, stand, don’t walk there.  Complying with directions is one way to support the mourners and give respect to the dead.

7. Graveside Etiquette

Some funerals move from a chapel to the cemetery, some are held at the monument’s graveside. And, if you don’t know the family well, it’s okay to attend the chapel service, and then skip the graveside service. It’s assumed to be more private. In addition, there will likely be chairs under an awning facing the open grave. Those chairs are for mourners; you do not want to sit in them unless you are a member of the family or disabled.

There will be a few prayers or readings, the casket will lower, and the officiant may assist the family in the ancient custom of shoveling earth into the grave. One or three shovelfuls is typical, and after the family, other attendees may assist. It’s a symbolic way of participating in caring for the body by putting it safely in the earth during burial. Again: follow directions; this is an extremely sensitive time for the family and you don’t want to disrupt the flow of the service.

8. Shiva Customs

There may be an announcement about shiva, the gathering at the home for (traditionally) seven days after the burial. If the family announces specific times, go only at those times. At the shiva house, remember that your presence is what matters. You cannot make their pain go away with words.

Mourners need time and space to mourn, and it is an act of kindness to give them the opportunity to do so. Usually, there’s a short service at the shiva house in the morning and evening. You can linger, but do not overstay: when people start leaving, go. Keep in mind that this is not a party, the mourners are not “entertaining.” Sending or bringing prepared food is a very nice thing to do; when in doubt, send kosher food.

9. Making Donations

Most families will designate a charity to which donations may be made in memory of the dead, and most non-profits are happy to send a card to the mourners telling them about your gift. Like consolation gifts, this is not required, but it is a very nice thing to do. Which brings us to:

10. You Won’t See These:

  • Flowers – instead, Jews give donations to a memorial fund. 
  • An open casket – We don’t look at a dead person unnecessarily, since they cannot look back at us.
  • A fancy casket – Traditionally, Jewish caskets are plain, unfinished wood.
  • Talk about the afterlife – Most Jews focus on doing good in this life. We don’t know for sure what happens after death, and we tend not to worry about it much. Some think there is an afterlife, some don’t.

 

Conclusion

Of course, there is much more to learn about Jewish funerals and mourning practice. And at Fox Memorials, helping Long Island’s Jewish community honor their loved ones with magnificent, enduring tributes to their loved ones with monuments is our daily mission. For more information on Fox Memorials or our services, contact us now. 

Journaling Through Grief: Five Ways It Can Help

White candle lit

Dealing with the loss of a loved one feels nearly impossible during difficult moments following their passing. As confusing as it is devastating, grieving can completely upend life as we know it. Therefore, you can never discover too many ways to navigate a loss or develop new coping skills. In fact, journaling is a simple, but effective, way to deal with these particular setbacks. 

Expressing your feelings, even on paper, can help you work through grief and even achieve a sense of balance and acceptance as much as your Jewish monument can. In this post, we’ll explore five exceptional benefits to journaling while grieving.

1. Process Your Grief

One of the main benefits of journaling after loss is that it helps you process your grief. The five stages of grief are difficult to understand while you’re experiencing them. However, a journal can help you navigate those stages instead of shoving away or denying your feelings. Journaling forces you to confront and acknowledge how you’re feeling regularly, giving you somewhere to direct and process those feelings. 

2. Have an Outlet

Sometimes, your emotions come out when you least expect them. Also, they tend to erupt during the most inconvenient or inopportune moments. Having a journal means that you can let these emotions out whenever they show up, which is something you can’t do if you’re suppressing how you feel. Not only that, but you can journal however much you want without the expense of mental health professionals. 

3. Record Your Memories

Another one of the major benefits of journaling after loss is the opportunity to record and commemorate your memories. It’s all too common to begin forgetting certain occasions that may be significant or comforting, and this can be problematic when it comes to advancing through that same grief. Journaling keeps track of the memories that you might lose otherwise. 

It also gives you a place to remember your loved ones instead of letting memories fade away with time. This is a more long-term benefit to grief journaling, but it’s something to keep in mind for the future.

4. Find Newfound Motivation

Motivation is an important factor in getting through grief, and a journal can give you that purpose to get through your days. It creates a schedule, and having a schedule is one of the most important things to keeping you on track while you’re living with grief.

5. Clarify Your Thoughts

When you’re dealing with grief, it can be difficult to think straight, which can make processing your emotions more difficult. Recording your day in a journal can be helpful to pull your thoughts together, helping you find strength and support, and to sort through your emotions and remain positive in difficult times.

What is Grief Journaling?

Grief journaling is the same thing as regular journaling, but with a focus on working through your grief little by little. The benefits of journaling at any stage of your life are amplified when you’re experiencing grief, so it can really help you work through difficult emotions more than a simple obituary.

Conclusion

At Fox Memorials, providing our clients with new ways to cope with loss and heal from grief is just as critical to us as the services we offer. For decades, guiding our community through difficult and traumatic periods has been a fundamental aspect of our mission. When dealing with a loss, we encourage you to try any means necessary to find peace and move forward while continuing to honor your loved ones. Therefore, journaling is an excellent way to process and cope with bereavement.

 

3 Ways to Offer Condolences to a Jewish Loved One

Woman and child standing by grave

Within Judaism, losing someone you love isn’t only about mourning. In addition, this period of bereavement is about reflection, family and faith. At Fox Monuments, we’ve done all we can to provide support and guidance to Long Island’s Jewish community for several decades. Part of our mission is to ease the stress and difficulty of this period in any and every way possible. Our monument services help mourners to honor their loved ones by crafting monuments that honor their lives, legacies and faith.

Of course, Judaism is a religion dating back thousands of years. As a result, there are countless rites and customs governing the loss of a friend or family member during the stages of mourning. For anyone unfamiliar with these traditions, it can leave you feeling unsure of how to offer condolences to someone within the faith. In this post, we’ll discuss how you can express your support to a Jewish loved one in a way that honors their religion.

 

1. Send Kosher Food & Baskets

A timeless Jewish tradition during times of grief is to provide the mourning family with a Meal of Consolation. Of course, providing a meal to a family mourning the loss of a loved one isn’t strictly limited to Judaism. Nowadays, many families of numerous faiths provide food to any neighbor or family member dealing with a loss.

To ease the family’s stress, the community often provides a meal for them. Therefore, the food, the kindness and the consideration all contribute to the overall impact of the gesture. This simple, but impactful, act of generosity can be an enormous comfort in the aftermath of a profound loss. Of course, when it comes to any food you want to donate, make sure it’s kosher before purchasing or preparing it.

 

2. Make a Donation

To honor their life, immortalize their name and help a good cause, making a donation in the name of the deceased is a great comfort to their family. Many choose to make donations directly to the synagogue where they worshipped.

Was there was a particular organization, club or charity they were passionate about? You can also choose to donate to them. Ultimately, any generous act in their honor will go a long way towards comforting their family.

 

3. Plant a Tree in Israel

This isn’t just a popular practice, it’s also a highly appropriate one. Of course, while we agree this can be an incredible gesture, the practicality of it may seem overwhelming. Luckily, several different organizations are in operation that can help you bring this gesture to fruition.

Organizations like the Jewish National Fund and Trees for the Holy Land help anyone looking to plant trees in Israel.

Trees have a special meaning in Judaism. Each year during Tu BiShvat, Jews celebrate the significance of trees within their faith. During this celebration, trees are acknowledged for their ability to sustain life with the fruit they bear. In addition, the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and the Tree of Life are both central in the Jewish creation stories. Ultimately, planting a tree in Israel is a great way to memorialize someone’s life and honor their faith at the same time.

 

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

No matter how you choose to express your sympathy, the gesture alone will undoubtedly be appreciated. Simply providing an ear to listen and  willingness to support will go a long way towards helping friends through grief.

Here at Fox Monuments, we’ll continue providing one-of-a-kind Jewish monuments to those looking for an enduring tribute to their loved one.

5 Things to Know About Jewish Loss

Jewish cemetery monument

The ways in which a Jew observes and celebrates Judaism are many. There is a variety of observation levels on Long Island.

At Fox Monuments, we can assist you with every detail. Whether you are Orthodox, Conservative, or Reformed, we have the perfect monument for your loved one. The sages once said that to be a Jew is to be Jewish enough. No matter how you observe, let us help you.
 

What You Need To Know

Whether you are Jewish or not, having lost a loved one or wanting to support those in mourning is a noble act. Surprisingly, it can be tricky if you’re unfamiliar with certain traditions or procedures.
 

1) Important Terms and Phrases

  • Alav Hashalom– “Peace be Upon Him/Her” Also written as A”H. This is the Jewish version of saying rest in peace.
  • Aninut- “Deep Sorrow”. This refers to a time period. It is the time in which the loved one learned of the death to the burial.
  • Baruch Dayan HaEmet- “ Blessed is the True Judge”. Words offered to the grieving immediate relative. These words are expressed traditionally as the relative tears the black piece of fabric they will wear on their clothes during Shiva.
  • Keriah “Tearing”. The immediate family performs this custom.  It is a small garment worn for 30 days after the burial. Siblings and spouses wear the Kriah on the right side whereas children wear it on the left.
  • Nihum Avelim- “Comfort the Living”. This is the act of consoling the mourners. This is one of the noblest acts a person can perform. Those who nihum avelim are amongst the those who possess chesed (grace, benevolence, kindness).
  • Zikhrono Livrahka– “May Their Memory Be a Blessing” – Also written as z”l. These words are meant to provide comfort. They reassure that the deceased will not be forgotten. The responsibility of carrying on the memory and stories of the one passed loved one now lies on the family and friends. Offered to bring comfort.

 

2) Ways to Honor the Deceased

  1. One of the most impactful ways to honor a deceased Jew is to ensure they receive a proper Jewish burial.
  2. Ensure that a Minyan is present at the burial services.
  3. Give tzedakah in honor of the deceased. Undoubtedly is a continuation of honor towards them.
  4. Visit the gravesite. Place a stone or pebble on the grave marker. Thus this shows loved ones that someone was there to honor the deceased.
  5. Upkeep of the gravesite. Make sure that the burial plot doesn’t become overrun with weeds.
  6. Name a new baby in honor of the deceased. The baby’s name can start with the first letter of the deceased’s name. The Hebrew name given to the baby may also reflect the deceased.

 

3) Differences in Ritual

There are three different observation levels in Judaism. There is reform, conservative and orthodox. Depending on where you are in the country or the world, there are different sects of Judaism within those denominations as well. Jewish people are free to observe in a way that serves them. There are a variety of different congregations, each honoring traditions and Halacha (Jewish Law) in their own ways.

Reform Judaism is the most recent denomination to come about. Their practices and observation will show this. They are less observant of Halacha than other sects. Orthodox Judaism observes Halacha strictly. Comparatively, conservative Jews are in between.
 

4) The Casket

Known as the Aron in Hebrew. There are no fancy caskets or casket shopping in Judaism. A traditional Jewish casket must meet certain criteria per Halacha. Pure pine wood is used to make the box. The casket has no metal on it. Some caskets may even have holes drilled in the bottom. This is to help aid in decomposition and allow the body to return to the earth.  Reformed Jews may not follow Halacha strictly. This doesn’t mean that the cemetery doesn’t have certain requirements for the Aron.
 

5) Covering Mirrors During Shiva

If you’ve ever paid a Shiva call, there may have been things in the home that wasn’t very familiar to you. There were no flowers. Instead, there were massive amounts of food and sweets being delivered. Lastly, all of the mirrors were covered. Death represents the literal juxtaposition between man and God. Humans are not invincible. Along with humanly traits comes ego. When looking in a mirror, the ego is very present. In order to take all the focus off of self, the mirrors are covered. In this way, the mourner is able to be present at the moment. All the focus is on the deceased.
 

We Can Help Navigate the Unknown

At Fox, we take the time to aid you in every decision. If you’re looking for the best place to get your Jewish monument on Long Island, look no further. From start to finish, our staff is with you to lend a listening ear and a compassionate suggestion. Whether picking the Hebrew inscription or setting the stone, let Fox monuments help you.

The Unveiling Ceremony for Jewish Headstones and Memorials

jewish monument with stones on top

Some time has passed, your mind has had a bit of time to settle. You’re still grieving though. At Fox Monuments, we understand there is no time frame for grief. That’s why it’s important to us to help Long Islanders navigate every step of this process.

During the funeral and burial process, traditions are of the utmost importance in the Jewish faith. In this post, we’ll delve into the details of the Unveiling Ceremony, and the significance it holds for Jewish people.

When Does the Unveiling Ceremony Take Place?

The unveiling ceremony after the passing of a loved one traditionally occurs within the first year. Dictated by Jewish funeral traditions, the unveiling ceremony generally takes place at the end of the grieving process. According to Halacha (Jewish Law), the unveiling of the stone can occur between the end of Shiva and the Yahrzeit (year remembrance date). This time signifies final acceptance and being at peace with the passing of a loved one.

In modern times, it is also common for the unveiling ceremony to take place 30 days after the burial. With this timing, the unveiling ceremony takes place at the conclusion of the Shloshim, rather than the Yahrzeit. Work and/or school become priorities again after Shloshim. They are encouraged not to engage in leisurely activities.

The times are a little more flexible depending on your level of observation. Because the unveiling ceremony is more of a tradition, and less of a religious requirement, there is more flexibility than with other customs.

gray granite headstone with Jewish star in Long Island cemetery

Who is Invited to the Unveiling Ceremony?

The very nature of the ceremonious unveiling is intimate. However, as this is an ode to your loved one, you are free to choose the guests. Many times, the immediate, some extended family, and close friends are present. Comparatively to a funeral or Shiva call, there is no public announcement for an unveiling. A Rabbi can officiate the ceremony, but this is not necessary. Again, it all depends on the family’s level of observation.

How It Works

The beauty of Judaism is that there is room for interpretation. You can find a Rabbi and a congregation that celebrates and observes Judaism the way that suits you. Therefore, the order and actual events of the unveiling are up to you. Traditionally speaking though, the ceremony is usually short in time.

The immediate family of the deceased individual should arrive at the Jewish monument before anyone else. This allows them to greet others and thank them for attending. Before others arrive, though, it’s important for the immediate family to ensure that the cloth is adequately covering the gravestone.

Everyone gathers around the covered monument. The Rabbi in attendance will deliver selected readings from the book of Psalms, and lead those gathered in reciting prayers. Depending on the circumstances, the Rabbi or a family member will give a eulogy, commemorating the deceased. After the eulogy, those gathered will recite the traditional Memorial Prayer and the Kaddish. A Minyan (presence of 10 Jewish adults) is required to recite the Kaddish. This signifies the power of unity. If a Minyan is not present, the Kaddish will be skipped. Finally, the family will remove the monument covering. Additionally, if a Rabbi is not present, a member of the family can lead the ceremony.

What is the Significance of the Unveiling Ceremony?

jewish headstone with stones

The significance of the unveiling ceremony stems from a time when elaborate gravestones were uncommon. Before it became customary for families to assign this work to a professional, the families often built these headstones independently. These memorials ranged from stones with engraved names to more elaborate hand-decorated headstones. After working so hard to create a fitting monument, the unveiling ceremony displayed this commemorative stone to the world.

In the present day, Jewish families continue to carry out unveiling ceremonies in the same fashion.

Whether timely or unexpected, death can shake us all to our very core. The dedication of the stone that takes place at the unveiling serves a hefty purpose. By unveiling the head or footstone, we are marking and acknowledging the final resting place of our loved ones. When the grief begins to subside or we find ourselves overwhelmed, the final resting place can bring us peace.

Fox Monuments Can Help

At Fox Monuments, we understand the significance of funeral traditions. Our staff is committed to designing breathtaking monuments. These memorials will commemorate deceased individuals for a lifetime. Contact us for more information about how we can create a stunning monument for your loved one.

3 Quick Tips for Writing An Obituary

man and woman grieving

As we all know, a loved one’s death usually leaves us with an extensive list of responsibilities to attend to. Often, the number of tasks can feel insurmountable and overwhelming. At Fox Monuments, we understand how difficult this particular moment is. Therefore, we do all in our power to make the process of acquiring a Jewish monument stress-free, painless and even rewarding. Our multi-decade work with Long Island’s Jewish community proves our enduring respect for the Jewish faith. Over the years, our craftsmen have produced countless breathtaking Jewish monuments. We work closely with families to craft headstones with inscriptions that symbolize legacies, faith and love.

Of course, one of the fundamental aspects of losing a loved one is writing an obituary for the deceased. Amidst the grief, pressure and countless obligations, it can be easy to overlook or compromise. However, this is truthfully one of the variables in this process that deserves serious attention, focus and conscious thought. The obituary is your opportunity to inform the community, friends and family of their passing, explain what happened, share service details and honor their memory. You can have the funeral home post the obituary on their website, share it on social media platforms and  anywhere else it might be relevant. 

In this post, we’ll discuss the obituary, the writing process, list tips on how you can enhance it and what makes it so important. 

 

1. Look for Examples that You Like

Of course, for such an important document, we want to include absolutely everything that made them incredible and omit nothing at all. However, it’s definitely best to alleviate some of that pressure from your shoulders. It’s great that you want to do right by them. But it’s impossible to artfully describe absolutely every moment of their lives and every facet of their character in one brief obituary. 

A smart way to get some inspiration or guidance is to read examples of other obituaries. You can figure out how to refine your tone, see what they acknowledge and get a general sense of similarities between several different obituaries. Browse the funeral home’s website, newspapers or ask any relevant professionals for notable examples you should emulate.   

This is the best way to begin the process swiftly and with a sense of confidence. 

2. Make A List of Elements to Include

Of course, the obituary can consist of whatever you like. But there are obviously certain details that you’ll consider of tremendous importance and others you can afford to omit. Therefore, you should keep a list of anything that may come to mind spontaneously and when you least expect it. 

Also, you can ask any professionals to give you a list of the traditional things that go into obituaries. Keeping a record of these elements will help you feel a lot more confident in the final draft before you post it.

                 

3. Monitor The Length 

Again: we know that you want to honor the person you lost with this obituary. However, a colossal narrative is definitely not an ideal obituary. Basically, the central purpose is to be a brief summary of somebody’s life. Also, don’t forget that anything you put in a newspaper will have a price based on length. 

If you want to honor them with an extensive, written celebration of their life and legacy, you can save it for their eulogy. Then you can deliver it to friends and family at the burial service. Ultimately, when composing the obituary, the relevant details and a concise amount of personal comments will be perfectly sufficient. 

  

Conclusion

Our mission is to help you honor your loved ones in every way possible. Of course, our primary focus is on crafting a one-of-a-kind monument that is the perfect, enduring celebration of their life. In addition, our commitment to providing you with strength and support is an essential part of our mission, as well. We know what a difficult time this is for all who must endure it. Therefore, we’ll continue working on your behalf to alleviate some of the stress, difficulty and pain and deliver a Jewish monument worthy of your loved one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

 

Selecting an Inscription for Your Loved One’s Memorial

Jewish headstone with menorah

A monument’s purpose is to memorialize your loved one, and help you remember their legacy. In doing so, family members and friends can remember it fondly, and reflect on their lives. The content of the headstone can be exceedingly profound, especially with a thoughtful format and meaningful text. In this post, we’ll discuss how you can create a Jewish headstone that best represents your loved one.

Originally published on July 24, 2018, this post has been updated for accuracy and relevancy.

1. Consider a Headstone Inscription without Rushing

The Jewish headstone can speak volumes about your loved one’s life and character. But, in order to make sure that the headstone reaches its full potential, you need to plan carefully.

Rather than rushing and ordering the Jewish headstone right away, put some thought into the headstone’s text. This is an understandably emotional process, and it will likely require deep consideration. There are likely many interests, pursuits and relationships that you would like to call attention to on the headstone. So, thinking through these various levels and deciding which information to include can be difficult.

Putting aside the benefits of these careful considerations, there is also no need to rush this process. In the Jewish funeral tradition, the Jewish headstone unveiling tradition takes place one year after burial. So, waiting is a natural step.

2. Choose Experience & Skill

A low quality inscription can squander the potential of even the most carefully articulated Jewish headstone text. And, when you’ve gone to great lengths to write this text, you want it to be beautiful. So, before moving forward in the process, be sure to examine pictures of their previous work. If the quality does not live up to your high expectations, then perhaps it’s best to look somewhere else.

An experienced Jewish headstone craftsman can make quite the difference in the end result. He or she can deliver an outstanding attention to detail to this process, and ensure that everything appears exactly as intended. At Fox Monuments, our staff maintains a commitment to creating beautiful Jewish headstones that capture the essence of your loved ones. As time goes by, and the headstone begins to deteriorate or collect dirt, we also offer headstone cleaning services.

3. Steer Clear of Generic or Cliché Wording

There are plenty of existing phrases that are applicable to your loved ones. For example, “always in our hearts” is sentimental, compelling, and often a fitting choice. Nonetheless, it is a common choice that does not always impart the same level of intimacy as a personalized phrase.

So, venturing outside of the norm may deliver a more personalized monument. Often, people draw quotes from the favorite literature, movies, or music of the deceased individual. Taking a quote from scripture is also an extremely common choice.

Regardless of your choice, having a memorial that speaks to the spirit of your loved one will be invaluable. When friends and family visit the headstone, reading this dedicated personal inscription will have a cathartic effect on friends and family.

4. Include Jewish Symbols & Imagery

Hebrew writing and Jewish memorial symbolism can provide profound meaning and context for the Jewish headstone. In a way, it can tie the entire headstone together. The Menorah is a common choice, as it carries great religious significance. This is often inscribed upon the headstones of very religious people. The Star of David is similarly popular, and represents Israel, the Torah, and the Holy One. Finally, the Torah and Tree of Life are also important symbols.

Selecting the imagery that best represents your loved one will help tell their story. As a Jewish headstone company, our artisans are familiar with the various imagery, and can skillfully inscribe it on monuments of any material.

5. Include an Epitaph

Depending on the space provided on the Jewish headstone, some people opt to include an epitaph. An epitaph is a concise quote that is inscribed upon the headstone to demonstrate the virtue of the individual. By putting this quote on the headstone, you can remind others of their values, interests, and pursuits.

Many epitaphs are inscribed with Hebrew characters, and allude to books of worship like the Torah. However, secular epitaphs are also appropriate and common for Jewish headstones. For example, “Always Loved, Forever Remembered” succinctly praises the deceased individual in an embracing way.

 Conclusion – Fox Monuments 

Making the final decision about what should be displayed on the headstone is an extremely personal process. And, it’s also one that will shape the mourning process for years to come. At Fox Monuments, our staff are experienced in guiding mourning families through this taxing and emotional process.