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For followers of Judaism, honoring the memory and spirit of loved ones plays a central role in religious and cultural life. This respect goes beyond simple remembrance, encompassing meaningful rituals and traditions that allow the living to maintain a connection with those who have passed. In addition to planning a Jewish memorial and choosing a personalized Jewish monument, families often observe the Yahrzeit, lighting candles and reflecting on their loved one’s life each year. One of the most significant practices in Jewish mourning involves reciting the Kaddish, a prayer that praises God and affirms the continuity of life while honoring the deceased. By understanding the importance and meaning of the Kaddish, families strengthen their connection to Jewish heritage, find comfort during times of grief, and actively celebrate the legacy of their loved ones.

What is the Kaddish Prayer?

The Kaddish prayer ranks among the most important prayers in Judaism. It goes beyond honoring the deceased; it declares faith and praises God. Many consider the Kaddish prayer just as significant as the Jewish monument unveiling ceremony. When Jewish people recite Kaddish, they thank God for life’s blessings and affirm His enduring presence in the world.

Kaddish holds special significance during times of grief. Jewish tradition teaches that each person carries a spark of Godliness. When someone passes, this divine presence diminishes slightly, and reciting Kaddish restores God’s presence in the world while honoring the deceased.

Traditionally, a quorum of 10 adult Jewish men—called a minyan—must participate to recite certain parts of the Kaddish prayer. The prayer includes responses that require communal participation. Similarly, the rabbi recites Kaddish during the Jewish monument unveiling ceremony with a minyan present.

The Mourner’s Kaddish

The Mourner’s Kaddish is a variation of the traditional Kaddish that is recited specifically by those in mourning. Unlike the standard Kaddish, which typically involves a quorum, the Mourner’s Kaddish can be recited individually, allowing family members to honor their loved ones in a more personal and intimate way.

Similar to other stages of mourning, the Mourner’s Kaddish helps the family of the deceased come to terms with their loss. Interestingly, the prayer does not mention death or the deceased directly. Instead, it focuses on praising life and affirming faith in God, creating a spiritually uplifting environment for the mourner.

After the passing of a parent, the child traditionally recites Kaddish for 11 months. This practice reflects devotion to God and gratitude for the parent’s guidance. Reciting Kaddish during this period also signifies a child’s dedication to spiritual life, honoring the legacy of the deceased. The mourning period typically concludes with the Yahrzeit, a yearly observance marked by unveiling the Jewish monument.

Jews may also recite Kaddish for other family members, including children, siblings, and spouses. In these cases, the prayer is traditionally recited for 30 days following the death. Beyond its spiritual meaning, the Kaddish prayer fosters a sense of community, providing emotional support and shared purpose for mourners.

In situations where a son is unavailable to recite Kaddish, families may ask another relative to perform the duty, or in some cases, hire someone to say the Mourner’s Kaddish on their behalf. While traditional sects such as Orthodox Judaism may have gender restrictions, women in other Jewish communities are fully permitted to recite the Kaddish.

Reciting the Kaddish on the Yahrzeit

The Yahrzeit is the annual remembrance of a deceased family member. It is a key opportunity to honor the memory of the loved one and reflect on the meaningful moments shared. Reciting Kaddish on the Yahrzeit allows family members to publicly acknowledge their grief while celebrating life. This observance also reinforces the bond between the living and the deceased through a shared spiritual practice. For more information, see our guide on Jewish practices immediately following death.

Historical Origins of the Kaddish

The Kaddish prayer has deep historical roots in Jewish tradition. Written originally in Aramaic—a language closely related to Hebrew—it was intended to be understood by the common people. Its earliest recorded origins trace back to the Talmud, where it was referred to as the Orphan’s Kaddish, a prayer traditionally recited by children for their deceased parents.

Over centuries, the Kaddish evolved to include multiple forms, including the full Kaddish, the Mourner’s Kaddish, and other variations used in daily and holiday services. Regardless of the form, the focus remains on praising God, affirming faith, and honoring life, rather than mourning death explicitly.

The Spiritual Significance of Kaddish

Kaddish is not only a ritualistic practice but also a deeply spiritual one. By reciting it, mourners participate in a centuries-old tradition that connects them to generations of Jewish communities worldwide. The prayer reinforces a sense of continuity, linking the past, present, and future, and providing comfort during times of loss.

Psychologically, Kaddish offers mourners a structured way to express grief. The repeated recitation of the prayer, especially within a communal setting, helps individuals process loss while feeling supported by their community. This combination of spiritual and emotional support makes Kaddish a uniquely meaningful practice in Jewish life.

Practical Tips for Reciting Kaddish

• Find a Minyan: Whenever possible, recite Kaddish with a quorum of 10 adult Jewish participants to fulfill the traditional requirement.
• Set a Schedule: Reciting Kaddish daily or during regular prayer services helps maintain a consistent connection to the deceased.
• Include Family Members: Encourage participation from relatives to strengthen community support and shared remembrance.
• Use Transliterations: For those unfamiliar with Aramaic, transliterations are available to facilitate accurate recitation.
• Combine with Reflection: Pair the prayer with moments of personal reflection on the deceased, sharing memories, or lighting a Yahrzeit candle for additional meaning.

Long Island Jewish Monuments

At Fox Monuments, we are dedicated to crafting beautiful and meaningful Jewish monuments for our Long Island customers. Utilizing Jewish headstone symbols, all of our monuments are designed to serve as a lasting testament to an individual’s life. Whether through the Kaddish prayer, Yahrzeit observances, or unveiling ceremonies, these monuments help preserve the memory of your loved ones for generations to come. Contact us to learn more about our Jewish monuments and memorial services.

Fox Monuments has served Long Island’s Jewish community for decades. We’ve provided guidance and support throughout difficult times of grieving. Naturally, we’ve done our best to honor the many Jewish customs and traditions surrounding death and burial.

In the Jewish faith, there are specific guidelines surrounding the appropriate response to a death in the family. Some of these traditions concern the burial process. Others concern the unveiling of the Jewish headstone with beautifully inscribed symbols. However, Jewish people also have a structured mourning process. These phases exist in part because of tradition and scripture, and they also serve as a natural way to help individuals navigate their grief. In this post, we’ll explore the stages of mourning in Judaism, their significance, and ways to honor these traditions while coping with loss.

Understanding the stages of mourning can provide comfort and clarity. Jewish mourning rituals create a sense of structure during a time when life feels chaotic. They allow families to express grief, commemorate the deceased, and slowly reengage with daily life. By embracing these practices, mourners receive guidance and support while honoring their loved ones’ memory.

During Aninut, mourners are exempt from the usual commandments and religious obligations, as their primary focus is on processing the loss. Family and community members play a critical role in offering support, guidance, and comfort. At Fox Monuments, we understand how overwhelming this period can be. Our staff provides compassionate assistance, helping families navigate funeral arrangements and honoring the memory of their loved one with respect and dignity.

Shiva: The Second Stage

Shiva, the second stage of mourning, lasts seven days following the burial. During this time, the immediate family of the deceased sits Shiva, typically in their home or sometimes in the home of the deceased. Visitors, including friends, extended family, and community members, come to offer condolences, a practice known as “sitting Shiva.”

At Fox Monuments, we often advise families on how to navigate Shiva. From arranging the space in the home to offering guidance on appropriate customs, we help ensure that this sacred period is observed respectfully and meaningfully.

Shloshim: The Third Stage

Shloshim extends the mourning period to thirty days following the burial. While mourners may return to work or school, they still observe certain restrictions, particularly regarding enjoyment and recreation. Listening to music, attending social events, and other forms of entertainment are generally avoided. This allows mourners to gradually reenter society while maintaining a focus on reflection and remembrance.

Shloshim emphasizes the balance between mourning and daily life. While mourners resume some responsibilities, they continue to honor the deceased through prayer, reflection, and limited indulgence in leisure. The community continues to offer support, ensuring that family members do not feel isolated during this transitional stage.

During Shloshim, memorial services or prayers at the cemetery may be observed, and many families begin considering the inscription for a Jewish headstone. This is a time when Fox Monuments assists families in planning and creating monuments that reflect the life, legacy, and values of the deceased.

Yahrzeit: The Fourth Stage

The Yahrzeit, while not strictly a stage of mourning, is an ongoing practice that commemorates the death of a loved one annually. Observing Yahrzeit involves lighting a special candle that burns for twenty-four hours and reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish, a prayer that praises God and expresses eternal remembrance of the departed.

The Yahrzeit serves as a yearly reflection, reinforcing the connection between the living and the deceased. Families often gather at the gravesite or in the home to honor the memory of their loved one. Many also use this time to reflect on lessons learned and memories shared with the deceased.

For families who have lost a parent, some practices may extend beyond Shloshim to Shneim Asar Chodesh, a twelve-month period in which mourners observe certain restrictions and engage in reflective practices. This stage underscores the enduring impact of the loss and encourages long-term contemplation and remembrance.

Shneim Asar Chodesh

Shneim Asar Chodesh is specifically observed by those mourning a parent. During this period, mourners continue to refrain from indulgent activities, focusing instead on honoring the deceased through prayer, charity, and reflection. This extended observance ensures that respect for parents remains central in Jewish life.

What is Avelut?

Avelut is a term that encompasses the entire mourning process, including Shiva, Shloshim, Shneim Asar Chodesh, and the year of mourning. Avelut provides a structured approach to grief, offering both guidance and emotional support for those navigating loss. The customs and stages within Avelut are designed to ensure that mourners are supported while also honoring the deceased with reverence and care.

Additional Practices and Considerations

Beyond these main stages, Jewish mourning includes numerous practices that help individuals express grief and commemorate the deceased. Some of these include:

• Visiting the grave: Family members often visit the cemetery, recite prayers, and place stones on the grave to symbolize remembrance. For more on this tradition, see our post Why Do Jewish People Put Stones on Graves?.
• Charity (Tzedakah): Giving to charity in the name of the deceased is considered a meaningful act that honors their memory and supports the community.
• Unveiling the headstone: Typically done 11 months after burial, the unveiling marks a formal commemoration of the deceased and is an opportunity for family and community members to reflect on their life.
• Prayers and study: Engaging in prayer, Torah study, and recitation of Psalms provides spiritual comfort and maintains a connection with the deceased.

These practices emphasize that mourning in Judaism is not only about personal grief but also about community, reflection, and continued spiritual engagement.

Supporting Loved Ones Through Mourning

Supporting someone in mourning requires empathy, patience, and understanding. Jewish tradition emphasizes the importance of community, offering practical help, and simply being present. Visitors during Shiva, for example, are encouraged to listen more than they speak, offering comfort and validation rather than advice.

Practical support can include preparing meals, assisting with chores, or helping arrange memorial services. Fox Monuments works closely with families to alleviate stress during this time, offering guidance on Jewish customs, monument selection, and cemetery coordination.

FAQs About the Jewish Stages of Mourning

Q: How long does each stage of Jewish mourning last?

A: The Aninut stage lasts until the funeral ends. Shiva is observed for seven days. Shloshim continues for 30 days after burial. Observance of Shneim Asar Chodesh may extend up to twelve months for the loss of a parent. Yahrzeit is observed annually.

Q: Can mourners return to work during Shloshim?

A: Yes, mourners may resume work or school after Shiva, but they are still encouraged to limit activities related to pleasure or entertainment.

Q: What is the purpose of lighting memorial candles?

A: Lighting candles, particularly during Shiva and Yahrzeit, symbolizes the soul of the deceased, eternal remembrance, and spiritual reflection.

Q: How does Jewish mourning support emotional healing?

A: The structured stages of mourning offer a clear framework for grieving. They allow mourners to receive community support, participate in spiritual rituals, and gradually reenter daily life while honoring the deceased.

Q: What role does the community play in mourning?

A: Community members provide emotional support, help with practical needs, and participate in rituals such as sitting Shiva or attending the unveiling of a headstone. Their involvement reinforces social bonds and offers comfort to the grieving family.

Conclusion

At Fox Monuments, our primary goal has always been to provide as much comfort to mourning families as we can. We strive to respect the Jewish traditions surrounding death and bereavement while helping families navigate each stage of the process.

Through compassionate guidance, knowledgeable support, and carefully crafted monuments, we assist families in commemorating their loved ones with dignity and love. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help you honor the memory of your loved one and preserve their legacy for generations to come.

Burying the body as soon as possible after death is central to Jewish burial traditions. Doing so allows the family and friends of the deceased to begin their progression along the Jewish mourning process. But, before the body can be buried, it must be cleaned. This practice, called Taharah, is an important element of preparing for burial. In this blog post, we’ll discuss the spiritual significance of Taharah, and why the body should be cleaned before being buried with the Jewish monument.

 

Who is Tasked with Cleaning the Body?

Cleaning the body in the Jewish funeral tradition is considered a high honor. And, it is not bestowed upon family members, or even close friends. Rather, individuals who are part of chevra kadisha societies are charged with cleaning the body of deceased individuals.

These societies do maintain and follow their own strict guiding procedures as well. First, people are only allowed to wash bodies of the same gender. Men may only wash men, and women may only wash women. This custom exists to maintain a level of modesty, even in death. To prevent additional grief during a time of extreme sadness, family members are not asked to participate in this tradition. Like the process of the rabbi leading the Kaddish prayer alongside the Jewish headstone, the chevra kadisha perform this prayer in a practiced manner.

The members of the chevra kadisha who are performing the ritual also recite prayers and psalms, with the goal of sending the spirit into the afterlife in a fully cleansed state. Once the body has been fully cleaned, the chevra kadisha place a prayer shawl or other religious garment over the body. While being buried beneath the Jewish headstone, the individual traditionally wears this garment.

In order to find members of the chevra kadisha in your area, you should consult your rabbi.

 

Who Watches the Body Before it is Cleaned?

From the time of death until the time of burial alongside the Jewish monument, the body of a deceased individual is never left alone. This custom, called Shemira, began as a way to prevent thieves and animals from tampering with the body. Now, it lives on as a way to show respect to and comfort the deceased, while also comforting the family.

The individual who guards the body is called a shomer. Shomers are either selected from a chevra kadisha, or from the congregation. While guarding the body of the deceased, shomers are restricted from eating, drinking, and other recreational activities, as a sign of respect.

So, before the body is washed by the chevra kadisha, it is watched over by one or several shomers. While this practice is not as common in modern times as it once was, Orthodox Jews generally still follow this tradition, along with the Jewish headstone unveiling tradition.

 

What is the Spiritual Significance of Washing the Body?

Taharah is also an expression of the cyclicality of life. Following birth, newborn children are washed, to attain a level of spiritual purity. Taharah enables deceased individuals to depart from this world with that same level of purity.

The process of the taharah reflects its spiritual importance. The individual performing the cleaning also recites prayers, asking God to forgive any sins committed by the deceased. These prayers also ask God to watch over the deceased.

 

 

Understanding Jewish Monument Traditions

At Fox Monuments, we are prepared to help you through this process at every step of the way. Our experienced team will guide you through the memorial purchasing process, and give you the information you need to make informed decisions. Contact us to begin ordering a monument, or check out our selection.

Fox Monuments, as a provider of Jewish headstones, understands the significance of family to people of the Jewish faith. We also deeply respect the practice of paying tribute to and commemorating deceased loved ones. Jewish traditions are critical to the stages of mourning and burial.

In the Jewish faith, these cultural traditions extend well beyond the time of death. Yahrzeit candles are central to this tradition, with great significance to the grieving process.

When is the Appropriate Time to Light Yahrzeit Candles?

Yahrzeit candles are lit at sundown on the eve of the Yahrzeit, or the anniversary of a loved one’s death. They’re also lit at sundown on religious holidays, such as Yom Kippur, Sukkoth, Passover and Shavuot.

These candles should burn naturally until they cannot anymore, rather than being extinguished. It’s acceptable to light a Yahrzeit candle on the day of the anniversary if you forget the night before.

It is also customary to burn a Yahrzeit candle throughout the Shiva.

Who Should Light The Candles?

In a similar vein to the burial and installation of a Jewish headstone, Yahrzeit candles are generally reserved for immediate family members. This includes spouses, parents and children. Each family member should light a candle, unless they live in the same household. They should do this for each family member who has passed on.

 

Are There any Accompanying Customs?

There is no specific prayer the Jewish faith requires during a Yahrzeit. However, saying the Mourner’s Kaddish is a common tradition in some families.

There are many celebrated readings that mourners recite at Jewish memorials. It’s important to remember the life and legacy of those you lost when selecting a poem or text to read during the service. Whichever piece (or pieces) best reflects your loved one is the optimal one to read aloud.

It is customary to honor the memory of the deceased during this time. Reflection on the positive memories of your loved ones, and the happy times you shared, is a fitting tribute for their life. Sharing the positive stories of your loved ones will keep their memory alive forever.

 

Conclusion

At Fox Monuments, our primary goal has always been to provide as much comfort and support to mourning families as we can. We make every effort to remain respectful to and considerate of the grieving process as you order your Jewish headstone.

We take great pride in helping families through difficult times, and with minimal stress. Contact us to learn more about how we can craft a beautiful monument for your loved one.

When a friend, co-worker, neighbor, or family member suffers a loss, our instinct is to help. It is a natural response—an impulse to comfort and provide support in any way we can. Our hearts ache for them, and we want to ease their burden, giving them strength and support during this difficult time. Often, this instinct leads us to send a gift or gesture of sympathy, such as food, flowers, or other tokens of care.

However, when supporting a family of Jewish faith, it is important to approach the situation with knowledge of their customs and traditions. Judaism is a deeply rooted, globally-practiced religion, with detailed observances surrounding death, mourning, and memorials. What might be considered thoughtful in one culture can unintentionally conflict with Jewish mourning practices.

This post will guide you through the types of gifts and gestures that are appropriate—and inappropriate—when expressing sympathy to a Jewish family. By understanding the customs of Jewish mourning, you can provide meaningful support without inadvertently causing discomfort or offense.

Understanding Jewish Mourning Practices

Before discussing gifts, it is important to understand the structure of Jewish mourning. Judaism approaches death with dignity, ritual, and communal support. Mourning practices are designed to honor the deceased, comfort the bereaved, and gradually help the family reintegrate into daily life while maintaining respect for the memory of the loved one.

Some key Jewish mourning practices include:

• Shiva: The first week after burial, where family members sit at home and receive visitors offering condolences. Shiva provides an opportunity for communal support and reflection.
• Shloshim: The first thirty days after the burial. Mourning is somewhat less intense, but still observed with specific customs.
• Yahrzeit: The annual anniversary of a loved one’s passing, often marked by lighting a candle and reciting prayers.
• Unveiling Ceremony: A formal dedication of the headstone, typically held months after the burial.

Understanding these observances is critical, as certain gestures that are standard in other cultures—such as sending flowers—can conflict with Jewish traditions.

Why Flowers Are Not Appropriate

In many cultures, sending flowers is a common gesture of sympathy. However, in Jewish tradition, flowers generally do not play a role in mourning or funeral customs. There are several reasons for this:

• Focus on permanence: Judaism emphasizes lasting remembrance, symbolized by placing stones on graves rather than temporary items like flowers. A stone signifies enduring memory, continuity, and stability.
• Non-disruption of mourning: Flowers are often viewed as bright, celebratory, and decorative—qualities that can feel incongruous with the solemnity of mourning. Receiving flowers at a Jewish home during Shiva may unintentionally distract from the grieving process.
• Practicality: Families sitting Shiva are often occupied with hosting visitors, reciting prayers, and observing rituals. Flowers require care and placement, which may add an unintended burden.

In fact, many Jewish funeral etiquette sources strongly advise against flowers at funerals, graves, or Shiva visits. Sending flowers, though well-intentioned, may be perceived as insensitive or out of touch with Jewish mourning traditions.

Alternative Ways to Support a Jewish Family in Mourning

If flowers are not appropriate, what can you do to express sympathy in a way that honors Jewish customs? Fortunately, there are thoughtful alternatives that provide real comfort and assistance to grieving families:

1. Sending Food or Care Packages

Food is one of the most meaningful ways to support a family during Shiva. Preparing or sending meals ensures that mourners do not have to worry about daily sustenance while focusing on prayers, reflection, and receiving visitors.

Common Shiva care packages include:

• Pastries, breads, and baked goods
• Fresh fruit and nuts
• Coffee, tea, or other beverages
• Candies, chocolates, or other small treats
• Prepared meals such as meat, fish, or vegetarian platters
• Salads, sides, and condiments

Families often appreciate when meals are kosher, but even non-kosher foods can be useful depending on the household. When in doubt, ask the funeral home or family if there are dietary restrictions.

For an extra special gesture, some friends and neighbors arrange full catering or meal delivery services for the family during Shiva. This approach can be especially helpful for larger gatherings or when family members live far away and are unable to help in person.

2. Donations in Memory of the Deceased

Charitable giving, known as Tzedakah, is a core value in Judaism. Making a donation in memory of the deceased is both respectful and meaningful. Common types of donations include:

• Contributions to synagogues, schools, or religious organizations
• Support for social service programs such as hospitals, shelters, or food banks
• Scholarships or educational funds in the deceased’s name

When making a donation, it is customary to inform the family of the contribution, either through a card or a personal message. This shows that you have honored their loved one’s memory in a tangible and enduring way.

3. Offering Practical Help

In addition to gifts and care packages, practical assistance can be invaluable. Offering to help with tasks such as grocery shopping, cleaning, or childcare allows the family to focus on mourning. Even simple gestures, like running errands or helping with synagogue arrangements, can make a profound difference during the grieving process.

Respecting Shiva Visits

Shiva is the most intensive period of mourning and involves a defined set of rituals. Visitors are encouraged to offer support and comfort, but there are cultural nuances to keep in mind:

• Dress modestly and conservatively
• Offer condolences with simple phrases like “May their memory be a blessing”
• Do not ask intrusive questions about the death or circumstances
• Participate in prayers or readings respectfully if invited
• Bring food or a small token of comfort rather than flowers

By following these guidelines, visitors can help honor the mourning process and provide genuine support to the family.

Honoring the Memory of the Deceased

Jewish mourning practices emphasize memory and legacy. Beyond immediate condolences, there are many ways to honor a loved one over time:

• Lighting a Yahrzeit candle on the anniversary of the death
• Participating in memorial services and synagogue prayers
• Visiting the grave and placing a stone in remembrance
• Supporting causes or charities that were important to the deceased

These practices not only preserve the memory of the departed but also provide comfort and a sense of connection for the family. By understanding these customs, friends and neighbors can align their gestures with Jewish traditions in a thoughtful way.

Conclusion

The term Tzedakah translates to “righteous giving” in Hebrew, highlighting the importance of compassion, generosity, and support in Judaism. These values extend naturally into the practice of comforting those in mourning. While flowers are typically inappropriate, gifts of food, care packages, charitable donations, and practical assistance are meaningful ways to support grieving Jewish families.

At Fox Memorials, we are proud to serve Long Island’s Jewish community by providing monuments and memorial services that honor both faith and legacy. Our decades of experience ensure that every family receives the highest quality service, preserving the memory of their loved one in a way that is respectful, beautiful, and enduring. By understanding and respecting Jewish mourning customs, you can offer support in a way that truly makes a difference during life’s most difficult moments.

Remember, the most valuable gift you can give a grieving family is your presence, compassion, and respect for their traditions. Whether through food, practical help, or charitable giving, your support helps families navigate their mourning with dignity, strength, and love.

A headstone should be a lasting testament to an individual’s life. With a beautiful headstone inscription, a description of their relationships to others, plus symbols, there is a lot that a headstone can say about a person. Ultimately, a headstone is a permanent, enduring tribute to the legacy of a loved one.

Reasons to Choose a Double Jewish Headstone

Financial Reasons

Unfortunately, funeral arrangements can be quite a financial burden for many families. This is especially true when the monument is not pre-planned. Purchasing a double Jewish headstone will help offset these costs for a more affordable headstone.

In terms of the headstone, it’s much cheaper to purchase one double headstone than it is to purchase two single headstones. The cost of materials is much cheaper. Additionally, a two plot grave is more reasonably priced than two separate single grave sites. Therefore, purchasing a double Jewish monument for your loved one is both a sound financial and spiritual decision.

Double Monuments are Larger

Similar to the convenience of visitation, double monuments are also larger. Basically, this means that they’re easier to identify in a group. They’re also more visually appealing. This is great for families who appreciate fine details in a headstone. A larger headstone enables families to honor their deceased relatives.

Relatives Can Be Buried at Different Times

It’s uncommon for two family members sharing a family monument to pass away at the same time. Instead, the ordering process normally takes place after the first individual passes away. The other half of the headstone is typically left blank.

After the second individual passes away, our craftsmen can inscribe the memorial symbols for the latter, whether it’s a spouse, parent, child or other relation. They can do this without ever removing the headstone. In fact, our staff can add new inscriptions while the headstone’s still in the ground.

 

Conclusion

At Fox Monuments, our goal is to help you give your family the honored burial they deserve. We strive to make this process as seamless and comforting for you during your time of grief.

At Fox Monuments, we have years of experience as a leading provider of Jewish monuments for Long Island. Providing guidance and support for the Jewish community in times of hardship has always been our highest priority. As Long Island’s most trusted provider of Jewish monuments, we hold Jewish tradition in high esteem.

The Jewish faith has rich historical significance. There are thousands of customs, practices and rituals that govern Jewish culture. Their practices regarding death and mourning are no different. The Meal of Consolation , Chevra Kadisha, and Shiva are just a few of the notable Jewish traditions passed down through generations of Jewish families.

Most of the customs we’ve discussed in previous posts concern how the bereaved family proceeds during and after the burial. However, according to the Talmud and Kabbalah, the time directly after death is a crucial transition period. The belief is that directly after a death, the deceased experiences as much hardship as their family.

In this post, we’ll discuss the Jewish customs practiced in the period directly after a death. Read on for more information.

 

The Transition

Jewish texts describe the period right after death as a challenging transition. Naturally, the family is devastated and doing their best to cope with their loss. However, the Talmud and Kabbalah states that the soul of the deceased is experiencing its own challenges.

The Jewish belief system states that the souls of their dead do not leave the world until after the burial. Disconnected from its former life and body, the soul is in a vulnerable state. This is why burials occur as quickly as possible. It is also believed that the presence and prayers of loved ones at the funeral is an enormous comfort to the soul.

Many of the grieving family members find comfort in their belief that the soul remains conscious and aware. It provides a consolation for them to view their loved one as going through a period of transition.

 

Decisions

Immediately following a passing, decisions must be made. This is not necessarily unique, as in all religions, the family must make arrangements.

Many common burial traditions violate Jewish custom, however. Jewish law forbids practices by modern morticians, as they are considered a violation of the body. They are viewed as disrespectful to the deceased.

The grieving families must take these restrictions into consideration when making decisions. In some cases, there are no official documents left by the departed with specific guidelines.

 

Rituals

Within the immediate moments after a death, holy rituals are conducted. A few primary factors are taken into consideration. Maintaining the dignity of the deceased is first and foremost. The body must return to the earth from which it came. The soul must receive guidance and strength throughout its spiritual journey.

Directly following the moment of death, those present recite the “True Judge” blessing, “Baruch Dayan Ha’emet.” This translates to “blessed be the true judge.” The complete version of this prayer is said during the funeral service, along with the Kaddish.

The eyes and mouth are then closed by whoever is present. A sheet is draped over the body to cover it. Many elect a child or close relative to perform this task. The body of the deceased is then placed on the floor. If death occurs in a hospital, this is most likely not possible. However, all of the other customs should be observed.

Candles are then lit and placed around the head of the body. If the body is lowered to the floor, those lowering the body should ask forgiveness of the departed. Once the candles are lit, Psalms 23, 90 and 91 are recited.

Once these Psalms have been recited, the funeral home and rabbi should be contacted. It’s important to inform the funeral home that a Taharah will be needed. Plan your memorial service accordingly.

 

The Vigil

According to the Jewish faith, the human body is a sacred vessel. The privacy, dignity and virtue of the body is under holy protection in Jewish tradition. After the passing, this body remains equally as deserving of reverence. Those near the deceased are expected to conduct themselves with grace and dignity in order to demonstrate the proper respect for the dead.

A shemira (honor guard) remains with the body as often as possible, if not constantly. Anyone keeping vigil over the body recites prayers or psalms to comfort to the soul of the departed.

 

Restrictions & Ritual

Autopsies, embalming, displays and cremation are considered a violation of the body.

The burial happens as soon as possible. Since Jewish custom forbids posthumous medical practices to preserve the body’s sanctity, the funeral must take place immediately.

 

Conclusion

Judaism is a faith rich with stories and tradition. The specific rituals following death have deep significance to the faithful. Like many of the other Jewish death traditions, it helps to bring closure and consolation to the family in mourning.

Fox Monuments works with Long Island’s Jewish community, providing them with memorials that are a tribute to their faith. We understand the importance of religion in healing from loss.

Hanukkah is, without a doubt, one of the most profound milestones within the Jewish faith. In simplest terms, it is an eight-day-and-night celebration of the tenacity of the Jewish spirit. Without a doubt, considering its supreme importance in Judaism, Hanukkah is, like Shiva, a quintessential opportunity to remember and celebrate those we’ve lost.

At Fox Monuments, we’ve helped Long Island’s Jewish community honor and celebrate their faith for decades. Traditions and practices regarding the end of life and lost loved ones is an incredibly significant (and complex) aspect of the Jewish faith. Therefore, part of our mission is to provide the kind of compassion, guidance and unforgettable service that pays both respect to lost loved ones and the appropriate reverence to faith.

In this post, we’ll explore five ways you can honor departed loved ones as you observe Hanukkah this year.

1. Storytelling Around the Lights

Once the menorah is lit, many families observe the tradition of singing songs, reading specific passages and reciting prayers. Mostly, the songs and prayers vary by family, as each have their own specific selections that they find most meaningful or appropriate. However, this is also an excellent opportunity to honor the memories of your lost loved ones.

If you’ve lost someone recently, this will be an even more impactful and emotional practice. Take a few minutes to share everyone’s collective memories of your loved one, and perhaps have others tell their favorite story about them. Even the simple act of acknowledging them, discussing, or just speaking their name out loud can be enormously significant.

Going around the room, give everyone present the opportunity to express gratitude for the ways the departed impacted their life. Hanukkah is the perfect time of year to firmly acknowledge that their enduring memories and legacy remain alive, as long as they live on in you.

2. Put Photos On Display

Of course, we take (and keep) photos so that our memories, and those we love, can live on long after we take them. Therefore, Hanukkah is the perfect time to put these pictures on display – not just to honor those you’ve lost, but to fondly remember Hanukkahs of the past.

Hanukkah is a time to revisit our collective history, celebrate our triumphs and remember our past. While Hanukkah is technically about revisiting our history on a collective scale, for all Jews, that doesn’t mean you can’t also acknowledge your personal memories, as well. Put a picture of those you’ve lost on prominent display, perhaps near the menorah. As a result, this will likely inspire whoever’s present to share specific memories and stories about them.

3. Prayers Following the Lighting

The spiritual teachings of Judaism enforce the idea that the moment a menorah candle flickers is a favorable time for prayer. One of these prayers can be a personal, heartfelt expression of our enduring love for whoever we’ve lost.

Of course, it’s very likely that you won’t be able to complete your prayers without sadness, and probably some tears. But that’s perfectly fine – it’s okay, likely even advisable, for you to have the cry you deserve. Feelings of loss, grief and sorrow are perfectly normal emotions. Also, expressing them is a healthy, typical, and necessary part of the process. Let your family and friends support you during this overwhelming moment.

In fact, mental health and grief experts tell us that experiencing the pain, rather than consistently trying to evade it, actually gives us advanced coping skills. Also, it helps us to feel better in the long-term.

4. Prepare Their Favorite Foods

There are fewer more resolute ways to honor a loved one (present or departed) than by preparing their favorite meals. Much like other Jewish holidays throughout the year, Hanukkah is a time to actualize our faith and gratitude with a festive, splendid meal. The Meal of Consolation isn’t the only meal that we may eat in memory of our departed loved ones.

Were there any specific recipes that your loved one was especially fond of?Was there anything they would often prepare themselves? What was their all-time favorite food? Contributing their favorite, or their signature, dish is a fantastic way to honor them. Also, this will allow you to share their memory with the friends and family present.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

From our family at Fox Monuments, we wish you and your family the very safest, healthiest and happiest of Hanukkahs! This has been an especially challenging year for us all, and you and your loved ones deserve an exceptional holiday season to finish this year with a bit of celebration.

Hanukkah is a day about hope, and to remind us of our historical ability to triumph over adversity. Therefore, it’s important to keep the spirit of Hanukkah in mind as we conclude a particularly difficult year.v

Happy holidays from Fox Monuments!

When someone in your family dies, there are a lot of things to take care of. One of the most important is making sure that the home is ready for shiva. Shiva is a Jewish mourning ritual that lasts for seven days. During shiva, the family of the deceased gathers in their home to mourn and remember their loved one. There are many things you can do to prepare your home for shiva. In this blog post, we will discuss some of the most important things you need to know! We at Fox Monuments want to help you through this difficult time, and these tips will make the process a little easier.
 

When and Where is Shiva Held

In the Jewish tradition, the funeral is held as soon as possible. This practice helps the soul to move into a peaceful place early on and allows the family to process their grief.

Shiva is held immediately after the funeral, usually on the day of the burial. The mourners return to the home of the deceased, and shiva lasts for seven days. Shiva is the second stage of mourning.
 

How to Prepare the Shiva Home

There are many Shiva preparations that the family must make before starting the 7-day mourning period.

1. The family sits on cushions or low chairs. It is traditional to sit on low chairs or stools during shiva. This is because sitting low to the ground is a sign of humility and grief.
2. Cover all mirrors and pictures. During shiva, all mirrors and pictures in the house are covered. This is because Jewish tradition teaches that during shiva, we should not be concerned with our own appearance. We are focusing on mourning our loved one, and we do not want to be distracted by our own reflection.
3. Keep doors unlocked. During shiva, the doors to the house are kept unlocked. This is so that people can come and go as they please.
4. Burn memorial candles. Memorial candles are burned during shiva. These candles represent the soul of the person who died.
5. Set out food and drinks. Food and drinks are set out for visitors during shiva. This is so that visitors will have something to eat and drink while they are in the house.
6. Prepare handwashing stations. As family and friends enter, they are expected to wash their hands. Some families will set up a wash basin outside or just inside the front door. Others will allow mourners to go right into the bathroom or kitchen. This ritual cleanses their hands and prepares them to comfort those who have suffered a loss.

 

Customs for the Mourning Family

Depending on the family’s preferences, customs will vary. Families will choose which of the mourning customs they are most comfortable with. Typically, the older generations will follow these customs more closely.

Excusal from Work

Throughout Shiva, the family is excused from work and household duties. Meals are prepared by friends or relatives. It is customary for the Shiva house to be left tidy each night so that the mourners can return to a clean space after their day of reflection.

Wear Torn Clothing

The bereaved wear torn clothing as a sign of grief. The clothes do not have to be ripped, but many people will wear an article of clothing that is torn or cut. This is usually done on the day of the funeral.

Stay within the Home

Mourners are not supposed to leave the house during shiva, except for necessary errands like buying food.

Grooming and Dress

Traditionally, mourners do not shave, cut their hair, or wear leather shoes during shiva. This is done as a way of showing respect for the deceased.

Exemptions

Children under the age of thirteen are exempt from shiva. They are considered too young to fully understand death. Pregnant women are also exempt because it is considered bad luck to mourn while you are carrying new life.
 

The Meal of Consolation

Also known as the meal of condolence, the meal of consolation follows the family’s return from the cemetery. It is an opportunity for friends and neighbors to provide support and express their condolences.

The food is brought in by friends or neighbors and left in the kitchen. The family does not have to prepare the meal themselves.

The Meal of Consolation marks the beginning of Shiva. It is intended to help the family recover from stress.
 

Conclusion

The death of a loved one is a difficult time. Following the Jewish tradition of Shiva can help to bring some structure and order during this chaotic time. By preparing your home and yourself, you can create a space for grief and support.

The Shiva is central to the Jewish burial traditions. Serving as the first of several stages of mourning, the Shiva helps family members to stand together while grieving. Long before unveiling the cemetery monument, the Shiva offers families an opportunity to gather and console each other. Read on to learn more about the Shiva service, and the customs surrounding it.

What is Shiva?

The Shiva is a very significant part of the grieving process for Jewish people. After a Jewish person passes away, the family is responsible for burying the individual as quickly as possible. Then, it’s traditional for extended family members, friends, and members of the community to gather and pay their respects during the shiva.

The shiva is generally held in the home of the deceased, or a family member. To demonstrate a state of mourning, those attending wear either torn clothing or a black ribbon to denote mourning status. They are also expected to bring food, as a way of providing sustenance for those in mourning. Like selecting Long Island Jewish Monuments, paying attention to the shiva process is critical.

Traditionally, there is an expectation for family in mourning to refrain from pleasurable activities. This includes watching television, listening to music, and other forms of entertainment.

As indicated by Jewish customs, the shiva should last seven days. In fact, shiva means seven in Hebrew. However, in modern times, some families shorten this period of mourning. Throughout each day, families and those attending say the Mourner’s Kaddish.

 

The Shiva Home

To prepare for the Shiva, the family will prepare the home in a certain way. Over time, Jewish people in different regions have developed varying practices. Generally, though, the underlying principles surrounding these practices has remained the same. Like the principles behind selecting a Long Island Jewish monument, Jewish people take great care in preparing a Shiva home.

In the Ashkenazi tradition, mourners must sit on low stools. This is notably different from the Sephardic practices, in which mourners sit on either the floor or pillows. Both of these practices symbolize that the mourners are in low spirits, due to their recent loss.

Additionally, mourners are likely to cover all mirrors in the home. The reason for this is twofold. First, covering mirrors discourages vanity, creating an environment that allows for introspection and reflection. Secondly, and more traditionally, covering mirrors prevents the spirit of the deceased from becoming trapped. Regardless of the interpretation, covering the mirrors is an important element of the shiva home.

As a way of allowing mourners to continue grieving undisturbed, the family typically leaves the doors unlocked.

A fairly recent tradition adopted from Christian customs, some families have a condolence book intended to give families the opportunity to thank mourners.

The family also generally lights a Yahrzeit Candle in the home. This creates the proper atmosphere for grieving, without using any electrical lighting.

Finally, mourners should remove their shoes, as a way of demonstrating grief.

 

The Origin of Shiva

The Torah mentions the idea behind a period of mourning several times.

During the early periods of Judaism, mourners noticed that feasting in joy was inappropriate during a time of grief. Instead, they viewed this time as an opportunity to express, process and overcome their grief.

Later on, Moses solidified this practice as a formal custom. The progression of this custom is fairly similar to that of the Long Island Jewish monuments. In the beginning, the unveiling tradition existed because it took time to create the monument. Now, this principle exists as a manner of tradition, deeply embedded within Jewish culture.

 

How Long Does the Shiva Last?

In accordance with these customs, the shiva lasts for seven days. However, this does not include the Shabbat, or major Jewish holidays. Beyond the grieving period, these seven days also establish the idea that mourning should be taken as seriously as feasting, which also lasts for seven days. In fact, the Shiva ends long before the unveiling of the Long Island Jewish monuments.

After this period ends, the family customarily leaves the home. This symbolizes “rising from the Shiva”, or moving on in the grieving process.

Following the Shiva, the next step in the grieving process is the Shloshim, in which the family re-enters the world. In some circles, though, family members are not permitted to engage in leisurely activities.

 

Long Island Jewish Monuments from Fox Monuments

At Fox Monuments, we understand the state of grief that mourners are in after the death of a loved one. Being familiar with Jewish customs, we do our best to accommodate all of our customers. To purchase well-crafted Long Island Jewish monuments that are right for your family members, contact us.