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5 Common Hebrew Inscriptions for Jewish Headstones

Posted on May 20, 2021 - 5:56 pm by n2wnyx

Originally published on December 28, 2018, this post has been updated for relevancy and accuracy.

Making arrangements after a loved one passes away is an emotional and stressful process. In addition to notifying friends and family, consulting with the rabbi about memorial services and hosting shiva, family members must also order a Jewish headstone. At Fox Monuments, we do all in our power to help make this a stress-free process and provide any support or guidance necessary to do so.

After finding the right Jewish headstone company, naturally, they must also select the headstone inscription. Many consider the inscription to be the heart and soul of the monument, and rightfully so. It’s a permanent way to honor the life, faith and legacy of those no longer with us. While many Jewish headstones feature mostly English text, many of them also feature a percentage of Hebrew writing, as well. These inscriptions can reflect the ethics, values and faith of lost loved ones.

In this blog post, we’ll identify the five most common Hebrew inscriptions for Jewish monuments.

1. Here Lies: פּ״נ

Of course, this Hebrew phrase is not uncommon on Jewish headstones. Generally at the top of the monument, the phrase “Here Lies” is intended to be read first. In a way, these Hebrew characters act as the natural beginning of the headstone. They describe the person that the monument commemorates.

Pronounced “po nikbar” or “po nitman,” this phrase is a popular addition to many Jewish headstones. While this is a tradition in some circles, not all Jewish monuments feature this phrase. Some Jewish headstones may instead contain similar imagery, such as a menorah or Jewish star.

2. The Hebrew Name

Another common inscription on Jewish headstones is the Hebrew name. For those with a passionate commitment to their faith, including a Hebrew name is just as important as an English one. And, for people who are very religious, the Hebrew name may be the sole way that they prefer to identify themselves.

While the meaning of Hebrew names can often influence parents, others prefer the name of a lost relative. This sort of significance inspires the inclusion of the Hebrew name. Usually, Hebrew names go below the phrase “Here Lies…” Sometimes, the headstone will include both the Hebrew name and the English translation.

3. Hebrew Names of Parents

In Judaism, maintaining strong ties to one’s family is essential to a faith-honoring lifestyle. When selecting the inscription, many Jewish families observe tradition and pay tribute to ancestors by including the Hebrew names of their parents, as well. Below the individual’s Hebrew name, the monument creator would write “בן,” which translates to “son of.” Or, they may write בת, which translates to “daughter of.” Then, they would inscribe the father’s respective Hebrew name. While including the name of the father is traditional, some Jewish headstones include the name of the mother, as well.

In addition to these Hebrew names, the Jewish monument may also include a list of the deceased’s other notable relationships. Depending on family records, it can often be challenging for children or heirs to locate their ancestors’ Hebrew names. To avoid confusion like this, many people choose to pre-plan their Jewish Monument.

4. Date of Death in Hebrew Calendar

As with all other monuments and headstones, Jewish monuments include the birth and death date of the deceased individual. However, it’s customary for Jewish headstones to include these dates according to the Hebrew calendar, rather than the western calendar. The Hebrew calendar spans a much longer time than the western calendar because it does not begin with Jesus’ birth. In fact, it begins 3760 years before the western calendar. While finding the precise Hebrew year can become somewhat complicated, the general rule is to add 3760.

For example, 2018 is 5779 in the Hebrew calendar. However, some choose to leave off the 5,000 for simplicity’s sake– meaning the date would be expressed as 779. While including the Hebrew year on the Jewish monument is not required, many families choose to do so. This may be in addition to or in place of the western year.

5. Jewish Epitaph: ת נ צ ב ה

These Hebrew characters are a common Jewish epitaph. In fact, they are an abbreviated version of a popular quote from the Bible: “May his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life.” Generally, this phrase is located at the bottom of the Jewish monument.

However, not all Jewish headstones, double monument or otherwise, use this epitaph. They may use other common Jewish epitaphs from scripture, or a secular phrase that captures the spirit of the deceased individual.

Hebrew Jewish Headstone Inscriptions

At Fox Monuments, we often provide Long Island’s Jewish community with considerable insight regarding the optimal inscription for their Jewish monuments. We understand the paramount importance of the inscription. Not only will it honor your faith, it will be a loving, enduring tribute to your loved one and provide a place to visit for years to come.

Chiune Sugihara – The “Japanese Schindler”

Posted on April 5, 2021 - 6:11 pm by n2wnyx

At Fox Monuments, serving Long Island’s Jewish community is a privilege we engage with solemn, consistent respect. Of course, Judaism is a faith rich in history, customs, traditions and cultural significance. There have been numerous defining chapters throughout Jewish history, some triumphant and some tragic. Within the vast history of Judaism, few events are as defining or horrific as those which took place during World War II.

Of course, World War II still casts an ominous shadow seventy-five years later. These were the years of the Holocaust. Somehow, Adolf Hitler managed to whip Germany into a frenzy of rage and blame the nation’s social and economic ills on the Jewish people. Thus began one of the most chilling, tragic and unbelievable atrocities in history. Hitler and the Nazi Party organized the systematic murder of more than six million Jewish people.

Who was Oskar Schindler

Many historians and film enthusiasts know the story of Oskar Schindler. Schindler was a WWII-era Czechoslovakian industrialist, war profiteer and member of the Nazi party. He’s a notable historical figure that many continue to celebrate because he managed to save many Jews from death camps after enlisting them for work in his factory.

Originally, Schindler acted purely out of self-interest. However, eventually he realized that giving Jews factory work was essentially saving their lives. Then, he eagerly hired as many of them as possible, most of whom were unqualified, like rabbis, and couldn’t contribute to the work force. Ultimately, Schindler saved over 1,200 Jews – who collectively gave birth to over 10,000 descendants.

What is Schindler’s List

Oskar Schindler’s story is known around the globe mostly because of the 1993 Steven Spielberg movie Schindler’s List. The film was a monumental success and instantly hailed as a masterpiece upon release, starring Liam Neeson as Oskar Schindler.

Schindler’s List won seven Academy Awards, including Best Original Score, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Director and Best Picture. Both critics and audiences consider Schindler’s List to be among the greatest movies in history. Countless Jews visit Schindler’s grave to this day to place stones on his grave.

Chiune Sugihara – The “Japanese Schindler”

Of course, nobody could possibly diminish the heroic achievements of Oskar Schindler. However, it turns out that another historical figure shares some very distinctive parallels with him. Chiune Sugihara, otherwise known as the “Japanese Schindler,” is receiving modern acknowledgement for his war time contributions to the Jewish people, as well.

During World War II, Japan signed the Tripartite Pact along with Germany and Italy. Basically, this made Japan (as a nation) sympathetic to the Nazi cause and hostile towards the Jewish people. However, Sugihara, a Japanese diplomat serving as vice-consul for the Japanese empire in Lithuania, put his (and his family’s) safety at extraordinary risk by helping several thousand Jews escape to freedom.

Basically, he would issue transit visas to Jewish refugees so they could safely travel through Japanese territories. Most of the refugees were fleeing Poland, Lithuania and other Nazi-occupied countries.

Of course, if Sugihara were caught, the consequences would have been horrifying. Undoubtedly, he and his family would have been subjected to violent, brutal punishments at the very least. The State of Israel honors Sugihara with the title of Righteous Among the Nations. This title describes non-Jews responsible for brave and heroic acts during the Holocaust. Historians estimate that at least 100,000 people are alive today because of Sugihara’s efforts.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

At Fox Monuments, we have nothing but eternal respect for the history and trials of Jewish people throughout history. We do our part to serve Long Island’s Jewish community with custom, enduring monuments that honor faith and Jewish legacies. And we’ll continue to provide the same guidance, strength, support and wisdom that pays respect to your faith for several years to come.

Shemira: Staying With the Body After Death

Posted on March 16, 2021 - 6:14 pm by n2wnyx

Followers of the Jewish faith place significant sentimental value on both human life and, in particular: family. When a family member passes away, a swift, decisive reaction is critical. Of course, it’s equally as essential to pre-plan or commission a Jewish monument quickly. However, often the family won’t uncover the monument until the Yahrzeit (Unveiling Ceremony). One key Jewish burial tradition is burying the body quickly, and beginning the grieving process.

The tradition of guarding the body is synonymous with this principle. In this post, we’ll explore this ancient tradition, its origins and how mourners honor it in modern times.

What is Shemira?

Shemira translates directly to “watching” or “guarding.” Essentially, it’s the traditional Jewish practice of observing and protecting the deceased’s body and one of the first mourning stages. Ultimately, this serves a dual purpose. First, it helps family members to feel at ease about the conditions of their relatives. In addition, it serves as a way to comfort the spirit of the deceased. Ultimately, the goal of Shemira is to ensure that the body remains undisturbed. With few exceptions, Orthodox Jews are the only people who continue to observe this tradition these days.

In the most traditional circles, someone must guard the body until burial. This is the same guiding principle which governs the practice of immediate burials. The longer the body remains outside of a burial ground, the more potential there is for illicit tampering. Of course, this is the primary reason that Jewish law enforces the policy of informing family members about death promptly; and laying the body to rest with the Jewish monument.

What is the Origin of Shemira?

Shemira is an ancient practice, and dates back at least two-thousand years. Originally, this practice was a show of solemn respect for the deceased. Before progressing to thee next life, the Jewish faith dictates that the soul temporarily remains around the body. But, there were several additional goals of this practice, as well.

During the earliest days of Shemira, this was a method of repelling critters and thieves. In modern times, we’re a lot less likely to deal with people attempting to tamper with the body or animals infiltrating the facility. However, the sentiment behind this practice remains just as essential to honoring mourners’ faith as ever.

Shomer: Guardian or Watcher

The Hebrew word shomer is not specific to death, either. This word translates to “watch,” “guard,” or “preserve.” It’s entirely possibly to apply this word towards other contexts, as well.

For example, people who follow Kosher dietary standards are called shomer kashrut. People who are shomer Shabbat agree to observe the strict rules of the Sabbath. Within this religious context, shomer means “one who guards the dead.”

Who Can be a Shomer?

Because the family’s in a state of high mourning, the Jewish faith calls for others to honor these guard duties.

Most shomers are from either the congregation or a chevra kadisha. A chevra kadisha is an organization specifically ordained to prepare and comfort bodies of the deceased. With this practice in place, someone who was significantly close to the deceased can stand guard over them following their passing.

Throughout the vigilance period, shomers must stand guard over the body of the deceased. This means that they must remain awake throughout the night. Shomers cannot eat, drink or indulge in other pleasures that are impossible for the deceased to enjoy. Often, the shomer recites psalms or other important readings.

Jewish Monuments Long Island

At Fox Monuments, we pride ourselves on creating the highest quality Jewish monuments available on Long Island. Our team of expert craftsmen have an extreme attention to detail and an unwavering commitment to creating monuments that pay exquisite homage to the Jewish faith. With a firsthand knowledge of Jewish burial customs, we can create a lasting and significant memorial that beautifully honors your faith and legacy.

Why Do Jews Put Stones on Graves?

Posted on February 25, 2021 - 2:19 pm by n2wnyx

The Jewish faith is rich with ancient practices, customs and traditions. There are numerous Jewish rites surrounding each of life’s milestones, from births to weddings to deaths. Each distinctive tradition is a quintessential means of observing the event’s importance. At the same time, they honor one of the world’s foremost faiths.

In Judaism, there is one specific custom regarding death that has inspired generations of rampant speculation. Before leaving gravesites, mourners place a small stone on the monument. Of course, this is an indication that someone has visited the grave. This burial tradition is ancient, with unclear origins. Furthermore, there are countless theories surrounding the reason for this practice, from a myriad of interpretive sources.

Fox Monuments has been serving Long Island’s Jewish community for over 65 years. We understand what a loss feels like, and we also understand the importance of maintaining traditions during these difficult times. Below, we’ll discuss the several theories exploring the purpose for this distinct mourning ritual.

5 Common Explanations of Placing a Stone on a Headstone

1. A Warning to Kohanim (Jewish Priests)

During ancient times in Jerusalem, Jewish priests were not able to come within four feet of a corpse. They believed that this close proximity would somehow taint them, or make them impure. As a result, Jews began leaving piles of rocks on graves to warn the priests to keep their distance.

This warning is a biblical practice that may have influenced the modern tradition.

2. Stones Last Longer Than Flowers

Many consider stones to be a symbol of our departed loved ones’ enduring presences in our lives. In addition, this belief claims the stone represents their memory and legacy, and how they live on in us. Flowers may be pretty, but not for very long. They will eventually wilt and die.

Also, generally speaking, many Jewish families consider the presence of flowers at a funeral distasteful. A stone will not quickly expire, and can represent the infinite quality of a person’s legacy. This practice can help those dealing with the difficult stages of mourning. It can help a person feel a sense of eternal connection to their loved one.

3. Notes Left to Loved Ones

Throughout history, Jews have inserted handwritten notes into Jerusalem’s Western Wall. When they couldn’t find a place to put the note, they would weigh it down with a stone at the base of the wall.

Similarly, this tradition eventually became central to Jewish funeral etiquette, with mourners placing notes on graves weighed down by stones. As people have moved away from note-writing over the years, the stone has remained as a symbol of heartfelt communication with those we love.

4. Anchoring The Soul in This World

In the Talmud, it states that a person’s soul will dwell in the grave where they are buried. As a comfort to loved ones, they possibly began placing the stone on the grave to anchor their soul in this world. Loved ones inherently wish to feel close to their deceased family and friends. Therefore, it’s entirely likely that this practice is a result of that.

Similarly, another interpretation expresses that the stone will keep unworldly beings away from the cemetery. Many suggest that there was likely a historical belief in the stones’ ability to protect the lingering souls of the departed from contact with demons or golems.

5. Connection and Memory

When a person comes to a grave and sees stones upon a loved one’s headstone, they often find this comforting. These stones remind them that someone they care for was visited, mourned for, respected, supported and honored by the presence of others who’ve visited their memorial.

The Hebrew word for pebble is also a word that means “bond.” By placing a stone on the headstone, it bonds the deceased with the visitors. Some people take extra care in choosing the right stone. It’s possible that it may have special significance or that it came from a place that reminds them of their loved one.

Conclusion

Throughout all the Jewish mourning customs, this one is the most difficult to trace to a specific origin.

However, regardless of the interpretation your family chooses, placing a stone on the monument you visit is simply a way to express love and respect. Each Jewish family (or individual) can decide what feels the most meaningful to them.

Finding Strength & Support Throughout Every Mourning Stage

Posted on February 4, 2021 - 5:26 pm by n2wnyx

elderly woman crying while man comforts her

Fox Monuments has proudly served Long Island’s Jewish community for decades. We continuously work hard to provide guidance, support and compassion during exceptionally difficult times of grief. Of course, we’ve done our very best to honor the numerous Jewish customs and traditions surrounding death and burial.

Within the history of the Jewish faith, there are many guidelines surrounding the appropriate response to a loved one’s death. Some of these traditions concern the burial process. Others concern the Jewish headstone unveiling with beautifully-inscribed symbols. However, Jewish people also adhere to a mourning process divided into stages. Usually, we refer to them as the “Stages of Mourning.”

In this post, we’ll provide some general tips on finding strength and support during each specific phase of the mourning process.

Aninut: The First Stage

During this early phase of the mourning process, you’ll very likely feel numb disbelief. Many mourners in this stage simply find the loss hard to believe. In fact, the first stage of mourning is very often characterized by shock and an inability to process the reality of the loss.

During this stage, Jewish tradition encourages us to try and confront and acknowledge any feelings of grief or despair we may feel. There are no expectations on Jewish mourners during this phase. Specifically, this means that mourners generally are not expected to say blessings or engage in daily prayers. Their primary focus should, essentially, be on planning the funeral and giving their loved one the most honorable farewell possible.

But above all, this stage’s most important step is one coming to terms with the painful reality of their loss. Within Judaism, the holy texts acknowledge that we can’t exorcise the pain while our departed loved one remains before us.

Shiva: The Second Stage

Of course, shiva is an integral aspect of not only Jewish mourning, but the Jewish faith as a whole. To this day, it remains a definitive practice and an essential way for mourners to process their grief and receive the support they need from friends and family.

Sitting shiva enables you to pause, reflect, and allow the reality of your loss to resonate properly. Throughout shiva, close family generally remain at home as a steady stream of friends and family visit to pay their respects. An essential step throughout this stage is to talk openly about the deceased. Specifically, discussing the impact of the death, the days and weeks directly before it, as well as fond memories and reflections of your time together. This actually has an unexpected benefit: revisiting this narrative repeatedly will make the reality of their loss resonate faster. And while this is painful, this is actually integral to the healing process.

Shloshim: The Third Stage

Following shiva, custom dictates that we should take a brief walk outside. This, in effect, represents our reintegration into society. Additionally, a short stroll outdoors is an effective transition into Shloshim, the next three weeks. Of course, there is, more often than not, lingering feelings of grief and despair. However, the severity of our bereavement usually begins to slowly dissipate and become less intense. It’s important to remember that it’s very normal to still feel sad and very emotional during this stage.

Also, keep in mind that just because the first couple of stages of mourning are over, that doesn’t eliminate our need to cope. Keep reaching out to friends and family for support whenever you feel the need to.

Yahrzeit: The Fourth Stage

Traditionally, the “official” mourning process concludes with Shloshim. And for those mourning their mother or father, usually the process persists for another ten months.

Of course, losing a parent isn’t the only kind of loss that will leave an enduring emotional effect. And nobody expects you to be “done mourning” in thirty days. Truthfully, the entire first year can be exceptionally difficult and emotionally turbulent. It often becomes a lot more challenging as we try to cope with the consistent demands of our lives. Creating unique mourning rituals can help us heal from any lingering heartache.

Don’t feel “wrong” if your pain continues throughout the year, particularly on holidays or birthdays. Continue reaching out to friends for support. Also, just because some days are less challenging doesn’t mean there won’t be more difficult days. Healing from a painful loss isn’t a straight line and everyone recovers differently.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

At Fox Monuments, our primary goal has always been to provide as much comfort to mourning families as we can. We make every effort to remain respectful to and considerate of the grieving process as you order your Jewish headstone.

We take great pride in helping families through difficult times, and with minimal stress. Contact us to learn more about how we can craft a beautiful monument for your loved one.

Traditions For A Jewish Burial

Posted on January 25, 2021 - 9:54 am by n2wnyx

As one of the oldest religions in practice today, Judaism has very specific, ancient burial guidelines. These customs typically begin immediately following the death of a loved one. And they don’t end until the mourning period concludes, following the Unveiling Ceremony.

It’s important for people who are adhering to these guidelines, whether by family tradition or out of respect for the individual’s religious customs, to follow these traditions closely. Each tradition carries great spiritual significance, and while there is some degree of flexibility, most of these customs have remained the same for centuries.

Jewish Funerals

Unlike Christian funerals, in which family members grieve and then bury their loved ones, Jewish funerals take place before the grieving period.

Traditionally, Jewish families arrange a memorial immediately following a loved one’s death. While this decision is up to the judgement of the family and the rabbi, most families bury their loved ones within a day. This shows respect toward the deceased. These funeral ceremonies are extremely brief. In most cases, they consist only of a psalm, scripture readings and a eulogy, lasting approximately twenty minutes. During the time leading up to the burial, a shomer will always watch over the body, preventing anyone from disturbing it, and keeping the family at ease.

Jewish Burial Process

The most popular burial custom in Judaism is the earth burial. This describes the deceased’s burial in the simplest caskets. The significance of this custom is that the body can return to nature in the most organic way possible. Bodies are, however, occasionally entombed.

After those responsible lower the body into the earth, and fill the grave, the mourning family recites traditional prayers. In almost each case, they do not reveal the Jewish monument until one year following the passing.

Jewish Mourning Period

The structured grieving process in Judaism helps loved ones to overcome their loss. There are a few distinct phases of this mourning process, which ends with the reveal of the Jewish monument.

Shiva: Beginning immediately after the burial, shiva lasts for seven days. It is often held in the home of the deceased (or another family member), giving family and friends the opportunity to pay their respects.
Sholshim: Including the shiva, the shloshim is the 30 day period following the burial. During this time, mourners re-enter the world, resuming focus on work and school. They will still, however, not participate in fun or leisurely activities.

Headstone Unveiling: While Jewish customs do require a marked headstone, they do not require an unveiling. Many families do, however, choose to hold an unveiling because of the sentimental value. The family of the deceased hold a ceremony to unveil the headstone to close family and friends. This usually takes place around the time of the first Yahrzeit.
Yahrzeit: The first anniversary of one’s passing, the Yahrzeit is a time of remembrance for the family. The headstone is usually unveiled. The most prominent tradition is lighting a candle for 24 hours in honor of their memory. Many families also recite the Kaddish prayer.

Selecting Jewish Monuments

Before ordering a monument, it’s important to consider a few variables. If the deceased person was married, then their spouse might elect to order a double headstone. This ensures a pre-designated plot and headstone, and traditionally, symbolizes an eternal bond. However, this arrangement is not required by the Jewish traditions. Jewish monuments also typically have Hebrew prayers and Jewish symbols inscribed onto them.

With great respect and admiration for Jewish customs, our monument company understands how to help families honor Jewish burial traditions. We can guide you through this process in a respectful way.

A Guide to Creating New Mourning Rituals

Posted on January 8, 2021 - 7:02 pm by n2wnyx

At Fox Monuments, crafting memorials that reflect legacies and honor faith is our contribution to Long Island’s Jewish community. Judaism is a faith rich with countless customs and traditions. Of course, there are numerous customs and traditions surrounding death and healing from it. Unfortunately, within the previous year honoring each of these traditions has been difficult. And with so many lives lost from COVID-19, it’s been doubly difficult for so many families.

However, with these restrictions came a certain amount of innovation. Obviously, we couldn’t gather in large numbers or visit many public spaces. Therefore, traditional rituals weren’t an option. As a result, countless families developed their own, personal mourning rituals to honor their loved ones. In this post, we’ll explore a guide to creating new mourning rituals that can provide closure and feel like a respectable tribute to those we’ve lost.

What Is a Ritual?

Obviously, this is the best place to start. Admittedly, this may seem like a pointless question to ask. However, knowing what you should strive towards is a great way to understand what to do. When it comes to saying a final goodbye, you can never put forth too much effort.

Rituals are actions done in significant ways that represent an ideal that’s much more than the act itself. Actions that symbolize ideas, thoughts, beliefs or metaphysical notions are legitimate rituals. Basically, they give a meaning to our actions. Also, they give us the feeling that we’re connected with something greater than ourselves.

Often, we perform rituals in an effort to obtain peace, clarity, meaning or to feel grounded. Sometimes, we perform rituals to connect to family or a specific individual, or culture, society, our ancestors or even ourselves.

Creating Your Own Ritual

We may create rituals for a number of reasons. But in this case, the goal is to create a ritual that allows you to process grief in a constructive, healthy way. Many decide to perform them on a birthday or anniversary significant to someone they’ve lost. On the other hand, some express grief in subtle, quieter rituals every day or week.

Of course, a mourning ritual should, in some way, reflect whoever you lost. Basically, this means you should include a symbol or memento with significance to them. Just like a headstone inscription, this will encourage the notion that you’re honoring them.

If you have any concerns about a ritual potentially violating your faith, consult your rabbi. However, typical mourning rituals have no blasphemous value and are simply a more personal means of saying goodbye to a loved one. In addition, they provide closure during a time when we can’t observe many normal traditions like Shiva.

Examples of Mourning Rituals

Light a candle in their honor, perhaps on a certain date like Hanukkah. For example, a common ritual is to light candles at dinnertime to signify past meals shared.
Create a scrapbook and actively work towards filling it with photos and mementos symbolizing their life.
Recite poetry, important readings or song lyrics.
Listen to their favorite songs regularly or create a mix of their favorite musicians.
Watch their favorite movie or TV show.
Plant a tree or flowers in their memory.
Make a donation to their favorite charity in their name/memory.
Create a work of art symbolic of their life.

Ultimately, there are no rules or restrictions when it comes to an effective mourning ritual. Of course, you know precisely what kind of actions will properly honor your loved one. It can be as simple or extravagant as you like, whatever feels most appropriate. Basically, if it feels like a legitimate way to honor them, then it most likely is. Do whatever feels right.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

Without a doubt, the previous year was full of unique challenges and difficult circumstances. As a result, countless families were unable to honor lost loved ones in traditional ways. But with adversity comes innovation, and mourning rituals are an exceptional way to help us heal from the pain of loss.

At Fox Monuments, we’ll continue to support Long Island’s Jewish community throughout any future challenges. In addition, we’ll also keep creating memorials that are beautiful reflections of Jewish lives and legacies.

5 Reasons to Pre-Plan Your Jewish Monument

Posted on December 20, 2020 - 5:29 pm by n2wnyx

At Fox Monuments, providing Long Island’s Jewish community with unforgettable monuments that honor their lives and faith is a part of our central mission. We have years of experience guiding our clients through difficult times and ensuring a smooth and stress-free process. We understand that for many people, making arrangements toward the end of life can be uncomfortable and disheartening. Creating a will, selecting beneficiaries and downsizing to a smaller living space can be very challenging. However, making these arrangements, along with pre-planning a Jewish monument, is important for your peace of mind, and your family’s welfare.

In this post, we’ll discuss five reasons you should pre-plan a Jewish monument. For this reasons and more, pre-planning is significantly preferable to having your family make arrangements following your passing.

1. Decide How Your Legacy Will be Told

After the passing of a relative, it’s common for families to gather and discuss the details of the Jewish headstone. This isn’t a straightforward process, and there are several matters to consider.

How should you phrase the headstone inscription describing your relationships to family members?
Is there an epitaph that’s meaningful to your life? Epitaphs are often taken from scripture or memorial readings. However, literary quotes and song lyrics are also common options.
Is there a particular cemetery you have in mind for burial?
Should you include any headstone symbols like the Star of David or a Menorah?
Do you have a preference for the headstone material?

When you pre-plan your Jewish monument, you’re deciding all of this yourself. The way that you present this information can affect how people remember you when they visit your headstone. So, pre-planning your Jewish monument means that you can shape this experience.

This also removes an enormous burden from your family in a few ways. First, they avoid the timely and difficult process of discussing this information and arriving at a collective decision. Second, your family members will be confident in knowing that they didn’t make a mistake or violate your wishes. This is a priceless assurance, especially during such a stressful time.

2. Make Decisions With Your Spouse

In the Jewish tradition, it’s common for people to rest alongside their loved ones. Double Jewish headstones enable people to continue sharing their lifelong bond, even in the afterlife. Pre-planning a Jewish monument with your spouse will allow you to be unanimous in all these decisions.

Because both of you will have input in the inscriptions and layout, you’ll both maintain total confidence that the Jewish headstone will be a proper and fitting memorial.

3. Spare Your Family A Burden

When a loved one passes away, it’s often the most stressful time for families. This is especially true following a loved one’s unexpected passing. They’ll have to contact other family members and friends, plan the memorial service, make arrangements with a funeral home, and possibly travel great distances.

On top of all of this stress, they have to order a Jewish monument. Therefore, pre-planning your monument eliminates this responsibility during an already-challenging time.

4. Cover the Expense

For many families, financing funeral expenses from the departed’s estate is common. This can become particularly difficult, especially when there are other expenses that this money must cover. If you have the necessary funds, it’s helpful to cover the cost beforehand. When you pre-plan your Jewish monument, you’ll find tremendous comfort in knowing that they can finance the other expenses, as well.

Over time, headstone prices can increase due to inflation, as well. Ordering a Jewish headstone in the present will ensure that you don’t fall victim to increased prices later on.

5. Preparing the Monument

When families have to order a Jewish headstone, it’s generally not prepared by the time of the funeral. This is normal; to create high-quality headstones, most companies require time.

However, with a pre-planned monument, it will be fully prepared by the time of the funeral. While the Jewish headstone may still be obscured as part of the unveiling ceremony, knowing there’s a complete monument there will help your family.

Contact Us to Pre-Plan Your Monument

At Fox Monuments, we’re dedicated to helping families through this difficult time, and creating an enduring, unforgettable memorial. If you’re looking to spare your family the stress and expense of handling these arrangements, then contact our team.

Our team will provide the information you need to make these decisions, and the peace of mind in knowing that you’ve taken care of them. For more information, contact Fox Monuments today.

Jewish Funeral Etiquette: What You Need to Know

Posted on November 22, 2020 - 8:35 pm by n2wnyx

Paying respects to the elderly is one of the key values that Judaism teaches. When people pass away, it’s important for family members and friends to honor their memory and time on this earth appropriately — both when visiting the Jewish monument and on holidays.

The Jewish mourning and burial process is coordinated to help family members grieving a loss overcome this grief in a manner synonymous with their faith. Because of this, the funeral and burial normally take place immediately after death. In this blog post, we’ll discuss standard Jewish funeral etiquette, and how you can best comfort grieving friends or family after burial with the Jewish monument.

How Should You Dress for a Jewish Funeral?

Like other funeral principles, dressing appropriately is a crucial part of showing your respect for the loss. Traditionally, people attending a Jewish funeral wore only black clothing. However, over the years some families have grown more lax with regard to this policy. When attending a Jewish funeral, men should generally wear a suit, or slacks with a button-down shirt. While the clothing doesn’t necessarily need to be black, it should be a darker color.

Wearing a head covering is also a sign of respect. Most temples have yarmulkes (or skull caps) available for mourners who don’t have their own. Women, on the other hand, should also dress in darker colors. Suits are a common choice, as are skirts, blouses, and conservative dresses. The customs for funeral attire can vary depending on the house of worship and mourning family. If you’re curious about what’s appropriate, contact a member of the family or somebody close to them. The same rules apply to the unveiling ceremony.

people holding hands during difficult time

Offer Words Of Comfort

When attending a Jewish funeral, be sure to have a comforting presence, especially toward the family. Giving your condolences to the family of the deceased is one of the best ways to show that you fully support them. Expressing what the deceased meant to you, or even sharing a simple memory can help them during this difficult time.

General Funeral Conduct Tips

In Judaism, cemetery etiquette is paramount. So, be sure to arrive early, or at the very least, on time. Arriving late can be a distraction for others in attendance. Also, be sure to remain silent and don’t talk during a Jewish funeral.

While you should offer words of condolence, be sure that you’re not speaking out of turn. For example, if someone is reciting a reading or leading those gathered in the Kaddish prayer, then take care to remain silent. The same rules also apply to people who are near the Jewish monument.

Send a Gift to the Family

After a loved one passes, most close family members are busy making arrangements for the funeral. So, they likely won’t have time to take care of standard household duties or activities.

As a friend or close family member, you can pitch in by contributing to these day-to-day needs. One easy way to do this is by cooking a meal for the grieving family.

The Meal of Consolation

The meal of consolation is a common tradition for Jewish people. The meal of consolation involves members of the community contributing food, which the family eats in the day or weeks following the funeral. You can also help the mourning family during this difficult time by offering a service.

For example, taking care of pets and cleaning the house are both time-consuming activities that you can take on. While the family may not feel inclined to accept the offer, this kind gesture will go a long way. Sending flowers or a donation to the family is another simple way to show your support.

Show Support During the Shiva

While separate from the funeral service itself, the shiva is another integral part of the Jewish mourning process. Once the deceased individual has been buried, the family proceeds to the Shiva home.

The Shiva is a time for distant family members, friends, and neighbors to pay their respects. Comforting the family and sharing pleasant stories about the deceased can go a long way in helping them overcome grief.

Jewish Monuments

Paying attention to these customs can go a long way in having a respectful presence. At Fox Monuments, our team’s committed to creating high-quality memorials that remain an enduring tribute to your loved one for many years to come.

4 Ways to Support a Grieving Friend

Posted on November 19, 2020 - 6:19 pm by n2wnyx

At Fox Monuments, we understand the pain and grief that comes with the loss of a loved one. Our mission is to provide support and guidance during a time that’s usually very stressful and painful for people. We know what a disorienting time this can be. However, we also know the importance of those who consistently support their friends during times of bereavement.

We know that we never forget the people who stand by us during hard times. Often, when we see friends struggling with grief, we want to do everything we can to help them, even if we can’t be with them. However, we may feel unsure of how to help them or feel immobilized by uncertainty. Therefore, we’ve put together a list of the ways you can support a grieving friend. Keep reading for more information.

1. Don’t Try to “Make It Better”

No matter what, when we lose a loved one, it’s painful. It’s difficult, and sometimes, just plain unbearable. Basically, there’s no making it better. A lot of us make the mistake of trying to minimize the loss by producing a “silver lining.”

If you try to “make it better,” it will usually backfire. So saying things like “everything happens for a reason” or “they’re in a better place” will make them feel misunderstood and lonely. It’s okay for you to acknowledge their pain by saying things like “this is terrible.” In fact, it will help them to feel less alone.

2. Be Prepared to Witness Emotions

So many of us clam up or feel instant discomfort at the first sign of emotion. However, during times like this, you must brace yourself to witness it if you want to be supportive. Of course, it’s tough to watch our friends in pain that we can’t simply erase.

But if you’re willing to be a companion to your friends during painful moments, it will be an enormous help. Let them feel their pain when you’re with them, and don’t let yourself freeze up from discomfort.

3. Don’t Take Unpleasant Behavior Personally

Obviously, we know that with grief, comes enormous sadness. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the only thing they’ll feel is sadness. In fact, many psychologists describe grief as a sort of temporary insanity. Therefore, your friend may feel anything from confusion, to anger, to exhaustion or even rage. Severe grief is usually an alternating combination of all of these.

So, if they’re uncharacteristically short or treat you with hostility, don’t take it personally. It’s important that you keep in mind that they’re not themselves right now. Try your hardest not to snap back at them or feel compelled to return their hostility. And remember: grief does not end at the funeral, they may not be themselves for quite some time after leaving the cemetery. Try to be as patient and understanding as possible.

4. Offer to Do Even the Most Ordinary Things

Grief is excruciating. Anyone who has recently suffered the loss of a loved one may struggle with even the most basic, rudimentary chores or errands throughout the stages of mourning. Everyday tasks may simply feel beyond their ability to complete.

Therefore, offer to do specific things, rather than asking “is there anything you need?” It’s very likely that they don’t even know which tasks they’ve been neglecting. So offer to do specific things, like cleaning the house or picking up groceries. If there’s something you see they’ve forgotten, simply do it without asking. Make this a priority for as long as they need it.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

Ultimately, you can be a tremendous support system by listening and paying attention. At Fox Monuments, we know firsthand the countless ways you can help your friends by supporting them during times of grief and hardship. We’ve served Long Island’s Jewish community for decades, and provided support by crafting gorgeous, enduring monuments that are a lasting tribute to lives and legacies.