Category Archives: Jewish Monuments

Within the traditions of the Jewish faith, there is a great deal of emphasis on family. Family presence during significant moments (Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, graduations, and so forth) is very important. When the time comes, raising a family is also a considerable honor. Unfortunately, sitting Shiva for a loved one is equally as important a tradition.

After a loved one has passed, visiting their grave can be a reminder of their life, their influence and your memories together. Read on to learn about when you should visit a Jewish monument as well as the proper etiquette when doing so.

 

1. Traditional Jewish Headstone Visitation Policies

Historically, religious leaders told the Jewish people to avoid visiting a loved one’s headstone too often. There were two primary reasons for this advice. First, rabbis preferred to keep cemeteries a solemn and peaceful setting for grieving families. In doing so, they would not disrupt a family’s ability to have a full grieving experience, and send their loved ones to the afterlife.

Secondly, they wanted people praying to them and not the dead. At the time, many people thought that encouraging frequent grave visits would result in less devout members.

 

2. When Should You Visit a Jewish Headstone

Generally, it’s best to visit a Jewish headstone on days that relate to the cycle of life. For example, visiting your loved one’s burial place on the final day of Shiva or Sheloshim is the natural conclusion to the stages of Jewish mourning.

The Yahrzeit, or anniversary of a family member’s death, is also ideal for visitation. In fact, this is generally when the headstone unveiling ceremony is held, and the family views the headstone for the very first time.

There are other days that are ideal for headstone visitation. Many consider Jewish fasting or holy days to be particularly appropriate. Modern customs regarding Jewish headstone visits do not dictate a specific number of visits per year. Rather, people generally prefer to visit moderately throughout the year.

 

3. When are Jewish Headstone Visitations Discouraged?

While the concept of grave visitations is not looked down upon, there are some days where it’s inappropriate. For example, the middle days of Passover and Sukkot are, essentially, holidays meant to be spent joyfully.

Purim should also be spent in a joyful state. Therefore, visiting the dead would compromise one’s ability to be joyous.

 

4. Leaving Stones on a Jewish Headstone

What began as a cautionary practice in ancient times of Judaism has become a grieving tradition. To mark Jewish graves, mourners would leave piles of stones on graves (before the creation of headstones and monuments) as a warning to priests. Priests believed that being too close to a corpse would taint them somehow, and make them impure.

This practice also stems from a principle described in the Talmud, which details Rabbinic Law, regarding the soul. According to tradition, the soul remains in the grave, with the Jewish Headstone. So, families began putting stones on the headstone, in order to keep the soul close. Other interpretations of this principle involve keeping demonic entities away from the grave, and the soul.

And, some people believe that stones are a more permanent symbol of resolution and endurance than flowers. While flowers will eventually blow away or wither, stones will remain intact.

Finally, placing stones on a Jewish headstone is also a way to comfort a mourning family. Finding a headstone with many stones adorning it is a welcome sight, in that it signifies others have recently visited and paid their respects as well.

 

5. Blessing the Deceased

Upon entering the cemetery, those who haven’t visited a cemetery in thirty days must offer a blessing. Often called the Jewish Cemetery Blessing, this etiquette is a sign of respect for the deceased.

Rather than praying directly next to the headstone of your loved one, this prayer should be said inside the cemetery in general.

 

6. While Next to the Jewish Headstone and Grave Site

After reaching the grave site, there are a few common traditions to take note of. First, Jews who have become knowledgeable in ancient laws and traditions should study the Mishnah. This ancient text is the original collection of Jewish oral traditions. So examining and pondering this text while visiting your loved one is significant.

Next, it’s also common to recite chapters from the Book of Psalms. Psalm 119, which has alphabetized verses, often serves as a great starting point. It’s common to select a verse based on the letters of the name. Often, people place their hands on the headstone while reading the psalm.

Praying to God while next to your loved one’s Jewish headstone is a critical aspect of visiting a grave. However, it’s important to remember that this prayer should be directed toward God, and not your loved one. In some schools of thought, this is blasphemy.

 

7 Memorial Prayer

Finally, the Kel Maleh Rachamim is an extremely important memorial prayer. While its exact origin is unknown, it’s become a standard prayer for all memorial-related events — especially grave visitations.

 
 

Jewish Headstones from Fox Monuments of Long Island

When you’re saying goodbye to a loved one, the Jewish memorial purchasing process should not be difficult or stressful. At Fox Monuments, we strive to help each family through their grief by making this process as smooth, stress-free and simple as possible. We will create a beautiful monument to honor your loved one’s life, and an excellent tribute for you to remember them by.

The death of a family member or close friend is always a difficult thing to accept. At Fox Monuments, we’ve spent years helping Long Island families through very trying and difficult times. We understand the grief that mourners feel. And we make every effort to provide the necessary support during this process. We serve our community by crafting beautiful Jewish monuments that honor the faith and the lives of loved ones.

Customs of the Jewish faith outline specific steps that families should take to overcome their sorrow. Arranging a Jewish memorial service, or memorial service of any kind, is not simple. And it requires a lot of communication and coordination. There are many Jewish practices immediately following death, and many that dictate the memorial service.

This post has been updated as of October 2019, from its original publication date of January 15th, 2015. It has been edited for consistency and updated information on our services.

 

Step 1: Contact Your Rabbi

Step 2: Memorial Considerations

Memorial traditions can differ slightly, depending on family tradition and the sect of Judaism. One common tradition across these sects is for the family of the deceased to tear their clothing. This is a significant action that symbolizes their profound loss. It’s usually done at the beginning of the service. And with Jewish memorial services, there is a specific etiquette to follow.

The eulogy is another very important aspect of the memorial service. And usually, the eulogy is critical to memorial services of any faith. Before the service, the family should meet and discuss who will be giving the eulogy. Boasting or exaggerating the details of their life is not permitted. But it’s important to deliver a heartfelt and thoughtful eulogy. The best practice when composing a eulogy is to focus on their admirable qualities and contributions.

While deciding on who will deliver the eulogy, figure out who will be reading the psalms. And more often than not, close friends or family members are selected as the best options.

 

Conclusion

At Fox Monuments, our primary goal has always been to provide as much comfort to mourning families as we can. A fitting Jewish monument is a central part of arranging a Jewish memorial service.

We take great pride in helping families through difficult times, and with minimal stress. Contact us to learn more about how we can craft a beautiful monument for your loved one.

The cemetery is the final resting place for a loved one. In order for the bond developed through life to continue in the afterlife, many families prefer to be buried in the same cemetery. It’s also common for married couples to arrange for burial in the same cemetery plot. The double Jewish monument allows couples to be buried with a bashert, a lifelong partner. Read on to learn how the double monument ordering process works, and how the second side is inscribed later on.

 

Ordering a Double Jewish Monument

 

How Are Double Jewish Headstones Designed?

The layout of the headstone inscription can vary based on the particular choices made by the family.

Last Name

Most couples who choose this option share a last name. So, unlike single monuments, the last name is placed at the top of the double monument, apart from the rest of the inscription. The rest of the inscription is specific to each partner, and placed on either side.

First Name

The first name for each individual is inscribed at the top of both sides of the monument. Sometimes, the first name will be preceded by the Hebrew phrase “ פּ״נ”, which translates to “Here lies”. Depending on personal preference, the name may also be
inscribed in Hebrew.

Symbols

There are a wide variety of Jewish Symbols Jewish symbols that have meaning and significance on headstones. On double Jewish monuments, it’s common to place symbols on either side of the last name, between the two sides of the monument, or alongside the individual’s first name. However, this decision is left up to the family. Common Jewish headstone symbols include the Menorah, the Star of David, and the Torah.

Family Relationships

When creating the inscription for a double Jewish headstone, many families choose to include the relationships of the deceased. For example, grandparents may have “beloved grandfather” inscribed on the headstone. This reminds visitors of the role that they played in life.

Dates

The birth and death dates signify the beginning and end of life on earth. While this placement can vary, they are generally placed below either the name, or the relationships.

Epitaph

An epitaph can offer a meaningful insight into one’s life through a quote, poem, snippet of scripture, or song lyrics. On double Jewish headstones, the epitaph is placed below everything else. Depending on the size of the monument, the couple might instead have one epitaph at the bottom.

 

How Is the Second Side of a Double Jewish Monument Inscribed?

For families who choose to order a double Jewish headstone, this is a common question. Because the headstone is placed in the ground after the first person passes away, the second side of the headstone is not always inscribed. At the very least, it will not have the date of death. These details can be added without removing the monument from the cemetery.

Our monument engravers can match the style of the existing text and add in the new lettering. Before doing so, they will render a proof of how the finished monument will appear, to ensure accuracy.

 

Double Jewish Headstones Long Island

Fox Monuments is wholly committed to helping families make arrangements with minimal difficulty. Our staff is dedicated to helping you create a lasting and fitting monument that will commemorate your loved one.

 

The Sandblasting Technique Has Not Always Been Around

As previously mentioned, the Jewish unveiling ceremony is central to the memorial customs. It originated because, in ancient times, Jewish people would independently create memorials. This entire process was completed with only hand tools, requiring plenty of time and energy. So, after finishing this arduous process, they would proudly display the completed headstone to family during the ceremony.

The modern custom stems from that origin, and still allows families to appreciate the Jewish monument, and loved ones.

 

What is Sandblasting?

Sandblasting is a method through which people who work with stone can smooth it. This quick-yet-accurate process has changed the game for Jewish monument creators. There are four primary steps to the sandblasting process.

 

4 Steps to Sandblasting

1. Concept and Image Rendering Process

Before the stone sandblasting machine can do its job, the Jewish monument artist must have an idea in mind. To create a Jewish headstone, there are several choices that a family member or friend must make for the inscription. People must select how the name will appear, whether or not there will be an epitaph, and a picture, if they choose.

After choosing these important details, the Jewish monument artist then begins rendering the image with CAD software. This means formatting the various aspects of the headstone the same way that they will appear on the final headstone.

 

2. Creating the Template for Sandblasting

Once the final design has been rendered through CAD software, and accepted by the family of the deceased, the next step is building a template. For the headstone to have the maximum level of detail (and quality), the template must be highly accurate.

In order to create such a template, Jewish monument creators use a very specific printer. This printer will create a rough template, with the details of the design outlined. Then, the monument design artists cut out these outlined sections, which are weaker than the rest of the material. The Jewish monument artist generally uses a stencil in order to accomplish this. This ensures that the letters, headstone symbols, and all other features are clearly separated from the stencil. With the quality of the completed Jewish headstone in mind, we always create the headstone with the highest level of care.

 

3. Sandblasting

Now that the stencil has been created, it’s time for the Jewish monument artist to begin shaping the headstone. The first phase of this process is affixing the template to the headstone, generally using glue.

Next, the headstone is placed inside of a sandblasting booth. The Jewish monument artist stands outside of the booth, and directs heat to the specific areas of the headstone. In doing so, he or she can expose the unpolished layer of stone, creating the detailed sections of the headstone. And, the rest of the headstone will remain polished, creating a beautiful monument. The Jewish monument artist will sandblast some sections more than others, creating contrast. This process allows us to shape your ideal monument, and produce a beautiful final product.

 

4. Final Embellishments By Hand

After the bulk of the monument is created, the Jewish monument artist will refine these designs with hand tools. Using highly specific hand tools, the monument artist will add detail to certain parts of the design.

 

The Sandblasting Technique Won’t Work for All Designs

Unfortunately, there are some monument designs that are too complicated for the sandblasting technique. Some more complex images require an attention to detail that this machine simply can’t accommodate. Graphics that depict a person, or highly detailed images must be inscribed by the Jewish monument artist by hand.

 

Jewish Monument Design and Inscription

At Fox Monuments, we excel in helping you to remember your loved ones. Our monument artists are committed to creating headstones with an unparalleled level of detail. With your family in mind, we will create a monument that will last for years to come, and help others recall positive memories.