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A Guide to Creating New Mourning Rituals

Woman and child standing by grave

At Fox Monuments, crafting memorials that reflect legacies and honor faith is our contribution to Long Island’s Jewish community. Judaism is a faith rich with countless customs and traditions. Of course, there are numerous customs and traditions surrounding death and healing from it. Unfortunately, within the previous year honoring each of these traditions has been difficult. And with so many lives lost from COVID-19, it’s been doubly difficult for so many families.

However, with these restrictions came a certain amount of innovation. Obviously, we couldn’t gather in large numbers or visit many public spaces. Therefore, traditional rituals weren’t an option. As a result, countless families developed their own, personal mourning rituals to honor their loved ones. In this post, we’ll explore a guide to creating new mourning rituals that can provide closure and feel like a respectable tribute to those we’ve lost.

What Is a Ritual?

Obviously, this is the best place to start. Admittedly, this may seem like a pointless question to ask. However, knowing what you should strive towards is a great way to understand what to do. When it comes to saying a final goodbye, you can never put forth too much effort.

Rituals are actions done in significant ways that represent an ideal that’s much more than the act itself. Actions that symbolize ideas, thoughts, beliefs or metaphysical notions are legitimate rituals. Basically, they give a meaning to our actions. Also, they give us the feeling that we’re connected with something greater than ourselves.

Often, we perform rituals in an effort to obtain peace, clarity, meaning or to feel grounded. Sometimes, we perform rituals to connect to family or a specific individual, or culture, society, our ancestors or even ourselves.

Creating Your Own Ritual

We may create rituals for a number of reasons. But in this case, the goal is to create a ritual that allows you to process grief in a constructive, healthy way. Many decide to perform them on a birthday or anniversary significant to someone they’ve lost. On the other hand, some express grief in subtle, quieter rituals every day or week.

Of course, a mourning ritual should, in some way, reflect whoever you lost. Basically, this means you should include a symbol or memento with significance to them. Just like a headstone inscription, this will encourage the notion that you’re honoring them.

If you have any concerns about a ritual potentially violating your faith, consult your rabbi. However, typical mourning rituals have no blasphemous value and are simply a more personal means of saying goodbye to a loved one. In addition, they provide closure during a time when we can’t observe many normal traditions like Shiva.

Examples of Mourning Rituals

  • Light a candle in their honor, perhaps on a certain date like Hanukkah. For example, a common ritual is to light candles at dinnertime to signify past meals shared.
  • Create a scrapbook and actively work towards filling it with photos and mementos symbolizing their life.
  • Recite poetry, important readings or song lyrics.
  • Listen to their favorite songs regularly or create a mix of their favorite musicians.
  • Watch their favorite movie or TV show.
  • Plant a tree or flowers in their memory.
  • Make a donation to their favorite charity in their name/memory.
  • Create a work of art symbolic of their life.

Ultimately, there are no rules or restrictions when it comes to an effective mourning ritual. Of course, you know precisely what kind of actions will properly honor your loved one. It can be as simple or extravagant as you like, whatever feels most appropriate. Basically, if it feels like a legitimate way to honor them, then it most likely is. Do whatever feels right.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

Without a doubt, the previous year was full of unique challenges and difficult circumstances. As a result, countless families were unable to honor lost loved ones in traditional ways. But with adversity comes innovation, and mourning rituals are an exceptional way to help us heal from the pain of loss.

At Fox Monuments, we’ll continue to support Long Island’s Jewish community throughout any future challenges. In addition, we’ll also keep creating memorials that are beautiful reflections of Jewish lives and legacies.

 

5 Reasons to Pre-Plan Your Jewish Monument

elderly man with book

At Fox Monuments, providing Long Island’s Jewish community with unforgettable monuments that honor their lives and faith is a part of our central mission. We have years of experience guiding our clients through difficult times and ensuring a smooth and stress-free process. We understand that for many people, making arrangements toward the end of life can be uncomfortable and disheartening. Creating a will, selecting beneficiaries and downsizing to a smaller living space can be very challenging. However, making these arrangements, along with pre-planning a Jewish monument, is important for your peace of mind, and your family’s welfare.

In this post, we’ll discuss five reasons you should pre-plan a Jewish monument. For this reasons and more, pre-planning is significantly preferable to having your family make arrangements following your passing.

 

1. Decide How Your Legacy Will be Told

After the passing of a relative, it’s common for families to gather and discuss the details of the Jewish headstone. This isn’t a straightforward process, and there are several matters to consider.

  • How should you phrase the headstone inscription describing your relationships to family members?
  • Is there an epitaph that’s meaningful to your life? Epitaphs are often taken from scripture or memorial readings. However, literary quotes and song lyrics are also common options.
  • Is there a particular cemetery you have in mind for burial?
  • Should you include any headstone symbols like the Star of David or a Menorah?
  • Do you have a preference for the headstone material?

When you pre-plan your Jewish monument, you’re deciding all of this yourself. The way that you present this information can affect how people remember you when they visit your headstone. So, pre-planning your Jewish monument means that you can shape this experience.

This also removes an enormous burden from your family in a few ways. First, they avoid the timely and difficult process of discussing this information and arriving at a collective decision. Second, your family members will be confident in knowing that they didn’t make a mistake or violate your wishes. This is a priceless assurance, especially during such a stressful time.

 

2. Make Decisions With Your Spouse

In the Jewish tradition, it’s common for people to rest alongside their loved ones. Double Jewish headstones enable people to continue sharing their lifelong bond, even in the afterlife. Pre-planning a Jewish monument with your spouse will allow you to be unanimous in all these decisions.

Because both of you will have input in the inscriptions and layout, you’ll both maintain total confidence that the Jewish headstone will be a proper and fitting memorial.

elderly man and woman talking on couch

 

3. Spare Your Family A Burden

When a loved one passes away, it’s often the most stressful time for families. This is especially true following a loved one’s unexpected passing. They’ll have to contact other family members and friends, plan the memorial service, make arrangements with a funeral home, and possibly travel great distances.

On top of all of this stress, they have to order a Jewish monument. Therefore, pre-planning your monument eliminates this responsibility during an already-challenging time.

 

4. Cover the Expense

For many families, financing funeral expenses from the departed’s estate is common. This can become particularly difficult, especially when there are other expenses that this money must cover. If you have the necessary funds, it’s helpful to cover the cost beforehand. When you pre-plan your Jewish monument, you’ll find tremendous comfort in knowing that they can finance the other expenses, as well.

Over time, headstone prices can increase due to inflation, as well. Ordering a Jewish headstone in the present will ensure that you don’t fall victim to increased prices later on.

elderly man with family

 

5. Preparing the Monument

When families have to order a Jewish headstone, it’s generally not prepared by the time of the funeral. This is normal; to create high-quality headstones, most companies require time.

However, with a pre-planned monument, it will be fully prepared by the time of the funeral. While the Jewish headstone may still be obscured as part of the unveiling ceremony, knowing there’s a complete monument there will help your family.

 

Contact Us to Pre-Plan Your Monument

At Fox Monuments, we’re dedicated to helping families through this difficult time, and creating an enduring, unforgettable memorial. If you’re looking to spare your family the stress and expense of handling these arrangements, then contact our team.

Our team will provide the information you need to make these decisions, and the peace of mind in knowing that you’ve taken care of them. For more information, contact Fox Monuments today.

Jewish Funeral Etiquette: What You Need to Know

jewish mourning

Paying respects to the elderly is one of the key values that Judaism teaches. When people pass away, it’s important for family members and friends to honor their memory and time on this earth appropriately — both when visiting the Jewish monument and on holidays.

The Jewish mourning and burial process is coordinated to help family members grieving a loss overcome this grief in a manner synonymous with their faith. Because of this, the funeral and burial normally take place immediately after death. In this blog post, we’ll discuss standard Jewish funeral etiquette, and how you can best comfort grieving friends or family after burial with the Jewish monument.

How Should You Dress for a Jewish Funeral?

Like other funeral principles, dressing appropriately is a crucial part of showing your respect for the loss. Traditionally, people attending a Jewish funeral wore only black clothing. However, over the years some families have grown more lax with regard to this policy. When attending a Jewish funeral, men should generally wear a suit, or slacks with a button-down shirt. While the clothing doesn’t necessarily need to be black, it should be a darker color.

Wearing a head covering is also a sign of respect. Most temples have yarmulkes (or skull caps) available for mourners who don’t have their own. Women, on the other hand, should also dress in darker colors. Suits are a common choice, as are skirts, blouses, and conservative dresses. The customs for funeral attire can vary depending on the house of worship and mourning family. If you’re curious about what’s appropriate, contact a member of the family or somebody close to them. The same rules apply to the unveiling ceremony.

 

people holding hands during difficult time

Offer Words Of Comfort

When attending a Jewish funeral, be sure to have a comforting presence, especially toward the family. Giving your condolences to the family of the deceased is one of the best ways to show that you fully support them. Expressing what the deceased meant to you, or even sharing a simple memory can help them during this difficult time.

 

General Funeral Conduct Tips

In Judaism, cemetery etiquette is paramount. So, be sure to arrive early, or at the very least, on time. Arriving late can be a distraction for others in attendance. Also, be sure to remain silent and don’t talk during a Jewish funeral.

While you should offer words of condolence, be sure that you’re not speaking out of turn. For example, if someone is reciting a reading or leading those gathered in the Kaddish prayer, then take care to remain silent. The same rules also apply to people who are near the Jewish monument.

Send a Gift to the Family

After a loved one passes, most close family members are busy making arrangements for the funeral. So, they likely won’t have time to take care of standard household duties or activities.

As a friend or close family member, you can pitch in by contributing to these day-to-day needs. One easy way to do this is by cooking a meal for the grieving family.

 

The Meal of Consolation

The meal of consolation is a common tradition for Jewish people. The meal of consolation involves members of the community contributing food, which the family eats in the day or weeks following the funeral. You can also help the mourning family during this difficult time by offering a service.

For example, taking care of pets and cleaning the house are both time-consuming activities that you can take on. While the family may not feel inclined to accept the offer, this kind gesture will go a long way. Sending flowers or a donation to the family is another simple way to show your support.

woman bringing food to neighbor

 

Show Support During the Shiva

While separate from the funeral service itself, the shiva is another integral part of the Jewish mourning process. Once the deceased individual has been buried, the family proceeds to the Shiva home.

The Shiva is a time for distant family members, friends, and neighbors to pay their respects. Comforting the family and sharing pleasant stories about the deceased can go a long way in helping them overcome grief.

 

Jewish Monuments

Paying attention to these customs can go a long way in having a respectful presence. At Fox Monuments, our team’s committed to creating high-quality memorials that remain an enduring tribute to your loved one for many years to come.

4 Ways to Support a Grieving Friend

At Fox Monuments, we understand the pain and grief that comes with the loss of a loved one. Our mission is to provide support and guidance during a time that’s usually very stressful and painful for people. We know what a disorienting time this can be. However, we also know the importance of those who consistently support their friends during times of bereavement.

We know that we never forget the people who stand by us during hard times. Often, when we see friends struggling with grief, we want to do everything we can to help them, even if we can’t be with them. However, we may feel unsure of how to help them or feel immobilized by uncertainty. Therefore, we’ve put together a list of the ways you can support a grieving friend. Keep reading for more information.

1. Don’t Try to “Make It Better”

No matter what, when we lose a loved one, it’s painful. It’s difficult, and sometimes, just plain unbearable. Basically, there’s no making it better. A lot of us make the mistake of trying to minimize the loss by producing a “silver lining.”

If you try to “make it better,” it will usually backfire. So saying things like “everything happens for a reason” or “they’re in a better place” will make them feel misunderstood and lonely. It’s okay for you to acknowledge their pain by saying things like “this is terrible.” In fact, it will help them to feel less alone.

2. Be Prepared to Witness Emotions

So many of us clam up or feel instant discomfort at the first sign of emotion. However, during times like this, you must brace yourself to witness it if you want to be supportive. Of course, it’s tough to watch our friends in pain that we can’t simply erase.

But if you’re willing to be a companion to your friends during painful moments, it will be an enormous help. Let them feel their pain when you’re with them, and don’t let yourself freeze up from discomfort.

3. Don’t Take Unpleasant Behavior Personally

Obviously, we know that with grief, comes enormous sadness. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the only thing they’ll feel is sadness. In fact, many psychologists describe grief as a sort of temporary insanity. Therefore, your friend may feel anything from confusion, to anger, to exhaustion or even rage. Severe grief is usually an alternating combination of all of these.

So, if they’re uncharacteristically short or treat you with hostility, don’t take it personally. It’s important that you keep in mind that they’re not themselves right now. Try your hardest not to snap back at them or feel compelled to return their hostility. And remember: grief does not end at the funeral, they may not be themselves for quite some time after leaving the cemetery. Try to be as patient and understanding as possible.

4. Offer to Do Even the Most Ordinary Things

Grief is excruciating. Anyone who has recently suffered the loss of a loved one may struggle with even the most basic, rudimentary chores or errands throughout the stages of mourning. Everyday tasks may simply feel beyond their ability to complete.

Therefore, offer to do specific things, rather than asking “is there anything you need?” It’s very likely that they don’t even know which tasks they’ve been neglecting. So offer to do specific things, like cleaning the house or picking up groceries. If there’s something you see they’ve forgotten, simply do it without asking. Make this a priority for as long as they need it.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

Ultimately, you can be a tremendous support system by listening and paying attention. At Fox Monuments, we know firsthand the countless ways you can help your friends by supporting them during times of grief and hardship. We’ve served Long Island’s Jewish community for decades, and provided support by crafting gorgeous, enduring monuments that are a lasting tribute to lives and legacies.

 

What is the Kaddish, and Why is it Important?

For followers of Judaism, honoring the spirit and memory of the deceased is paramount. In addition to planning a Jewish memorial and purchasing a Jewish monument, Jewish people also celebrate the Yahrzeit. Reciting the Kaddish, which is a prayer for the deceased, is another important Jewish burial tradition. Read on to learn more about the significance of the Kaddish prayer in modern-day Judaism.

What is the Kaddish Prayer?

The Kaddish prayer is one of the most important within the entire scope of Judaism. In fact, the Kaddish prayer is equally (if not more) important as the Jewish monument unveiling ceremony. The Kaddish prayer is a way for Jewish people to offer praise to God, and thank Him for all of life’s experiences. In doing so, this prayer also expresses and articulates the value of life, presenting God as a peaceful and benevolent ruler of the Earth.

While the Kaddish is always a significant prayer during service, it carries additional significance during times of grief. According to Jewish tradition, each member of the Jewish faith has a certain sense of Godliness. After an individual passes, this radiance or presence becomes slightly diminished. Reciting the Kaddish restores the presence of God within the world, in an homage to the memory of the deceased.

In order to recite the Kaddish, 13 Jewish men must make a quorum. This is because there are several responses that benefit from group participation. The Jewish monument unveiling ceremony requires the same quorum, when the rabbi reads the Kaddish.

The Mourner’s Kaddish

The Mourner’s Kaddish is a slight variant of the traditional Kaddish prayer that one recites during Jewish services. While the standard Kaddish prayer requires a quorum, the Mourner’s Kaddish is to be an individual activity.

Like other stages of mourning, the Mourner’s Kaddish is to help the family of the deceased come to terms with their passing. The Mourner’s Kaddish does not allude to the deceased individual, or even the concept of death. Instead, it is a celebration of life, and all that God has to offer.

After a parent passes, the son says the Kaddish for 11 months. In doing so, he will demonstrate to God the importance of spirituality, and that his parents raised a faithful child. Additionally, it is great praise for a child to be so devoted in prayer to the welfare of his family. This period ends with the Yahrzeit, when the family unveils the Jewish monument.

Jews should also recite the Kaddish for other family members. After the passing of a child, sibling or spouse, Jews should recite the Kaddish for 30 days.

The Kaddish also encourages a community environment. This has many psychological benefits, especially for mourners.

In some cases, there is not a son that is able to carry these important duties out. Customarily, the family may ask another relative to pray in the stead of a son. When this is not possible, they may hire somebody to say the Mourner’s Kaddish.

Aside from especially traditional sects of Judaism (such as Orthodox Jews), women are permitted to recite the Kaddish.

Reciting the Kaddish on the Yahrzeit

The Yahrzeit is another important opportunity to honor the deceased members of the family. It occurs each year following the death of a relative, and gives the family the opportunity to thank the deceased for positive memories.

What is the Origin of the Kaddish Prayer?

Originally written in Aramaic, a language related to Hebrew, the writers of the Kaddish prayer intended for the masses to understand the Kaddish prayer. In fact, it’s origin dates back as far as the Talmud. Formerly, Jews called it the Orphan’s Kaddish, reserving it for children to pray for parents.

Long Island Jewish Monuments

At Fox Monuments, we are dedicated to crafting beautiful and meaningful Jewish monuments for our Long Island customers. Utilizing Jewish headstone symbols, all of our monuments are created to serve as a lasting testament to an individual’s life. Contact us to learn more about our Jewish monuments.

3 Ideas for Funerals & Memorials When You Can’t Be Together

Sad boy in medical mask near Headstone

The COVID-19 pandemic is having an unprecedented impact on our ability to gather, mourn and grieve together. Families are losing loved ones at alarming rates, but are unable to assemble in large groups for Shiva or funerals. This can be doubly painful for anyone already suffering the loss of a loved one. Wakes and funerals have always been a critical means of expressing grief and mourning together. But when we can’t assemble, what do we do?

Usually, when a Jewish individual passes, their family receives a lot of emotional and physical support from friends, family and community. This kind of support is integral to the Jewish faith. However, in the age of COVID-19, how do we conduct funerals or memorials when we must socially distance and can’t gather?

In this post, we’ll discuss three ideas for funerals and memorials when we can’t gather.
 

1. Have a Burial Now & In-Person Event Later

Remember: you don’t have to rush to have a memorial service. Even in the most normal of circumstances, a lot of families say they wish they’d taken more time before having a memorial or funeral service. There’s no reason you need to do the entire event immediately.

Also, you can do something small or virtual now, and then something in person with friends and family later. It can be when we’re able to assemble again, or you could plan it for your loved one’s birthday, a holiday or another significant date.

2. Stream the Service

This suggestion is probably the most obvious. If friends and family can’t be with you, you can deliver the service to them online. Some funeral home or temples already provide this option.

Even if you’re a Zoom or FaceTime expert, arranging this to ensure that everyone at home can see, hear or participate requires a lot of planning and coordination. Therefore, make sure you’ve worked out all the details in advance.

3. Request Photos For a Virtual Slideshow

One of the more enjoyable aspects of a wake, Shiva or funeral is the occasional collection of photos. Since we’re now in an era when most of our photos are already digital, many of these slideshows would be electronic even if in a funeral home, temple or church.

Therefore, you should reach out to friends and family and ask them to provide any photos they may have of your loved one. With these pictures, you can put together a digital slideshow that you can play during the service. If you use the Zoom webinar feature, you can share the screen of the computer playing the slideshow. Then, anyone present during the digital service can see all the photos directly on their screen.
 

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

This may seem an insurmountable time for many, but there are still plenty of ways to adapt to these circumstances and give your loved ones a proper send-off. At Fox Monuments, we’ve provided Long Island’s Jewish community with stunning, one-of-a-kind custom monuments for years. And we’ll continue to do so throughout this pandemic and long afterwards.

5 Jewish Traditions Towards the End of Life

Jewish family

In the Jewish tradition, caring for the elderly is of the highest priority. This means total respect, embracing their hard-won wisdom, and seeking knowledge when necessary. When the elderly are approaching the end of life, there are traditions that family members and close friends can participate in to provide a comforting presence and honor their legacies.

In this post, we’ll discuss the ways that Jewish traditions can comfort the elderly before death. Read on to find out more.

 

1. Reciting Healing Prayers

When the possibility of death approaches, your loved one or family member will likely be in distress or low spirits. Therefore, reciting or singing the Mi Sheberakh prayer will help provide both comfort and reinforce a sense of unity.

This traditional Jewish healing prayer is not just a way to encourage the healing process, but also to strengthen their spirits. Anyone can recite this prayer alone, or in the company of loved ones.

If you prefer spontaneous, organic prayers, then speaking directly to God may also help them feel at ease. Asking God to help your loved one feel at peace can be a powerful and cathartic experience.

 

2. Humming Traditional Jewish Music

In all cultures, listening to music is a powerful and healing experience. This is especially true in Judaism. Playing loved one’s favorite music can be a restorative and unique experience, especially during this distressing time.

Humming Niggunim, or Jewish melodies without lyrics, creates an atmosphere a lot like the time spent worshipping at temple. This can be important, especially for people with a heavy involvement in religion or religious ceremonies.

Other live music can also cultivate a positive, joyous atmosphere. If the setting allows for it, live musicians can create a soothing environment for your loved one. While this isn’t always a plausible option, you can still sing your loved one’s favorite songs to him or her.

Jewish music

 

3. Reading Psalms

While everyone tends to have different preferences, reading psalms may remind your loved ones of their values and ethics. Scripture can reinforce religious teachings, and prominent religious figures who may have influenced them. This reminder is especially important during such a difficult time.

Phrases from these psalms will help your loved ones to thank and praise God. In doing so, you can help give them the inspiration they need to persist and remain in good spirits. Many Jewish people have psalms such as this inscribed upon their loved one’s monument as an epitaph.

Specifically, psalm 121 is a fitting choice for anyone who’s suffering. In this psalm, the speaker acknowledges and thanks God for his protection through life. Reciting this (or a similar) psalm to your loved one will help them to find a source of protection in this troubled time. It’s common for these psalms to serve as epitaphs on a loved one’s grave.

Similarly, reciting the viddui prayer will give your loved one an opportunity to renounce his or her sins. Offering the consolation of repentance, as well as the idea that faith and trust, the deathbed-specific viddui prayer can have an important impact in these final days.

 

4. Discuss Funeral Arrangements

While this is a difficult topic to discuss with anyone, funeral arrangements are difficult, costly, and time-consuming to make. If you’ve been tasked with this responsibility, then bringing this up may be natural. However, it’s important to learn whether or not anybody has taken any steps toward making arrangements.

First, you should learn whether or not the individual has purchased a burial plot. These are expensive plots of land, and depending upon family, religious preferences, and military service, their preference might vary. You can then discuss the cleaning of the body, an important step in the Jewish faith. You should also find out if they ordered a Jewish monument. If your loved one would prefer cremation to a traditional burial, this is also important information.

 

5. Purchase a Jewish Monument

As we mentioned before, final death arrangements can be difficult and time-consuming to make. This is especially true with ordering a Jewish monument. If you find that your loved one wants to be involved, then request their input. While some may prefer not to focus on something so morbid, others may prefer to alleviate this stress from you.

There are several decisions that you (or your loved one) must make when ordering the Jewish monument. First, you must select the size and material for the headstone. Granite and bronze are popular choices, given their popularity and durability. Next, the epitaph should convey an important message to everyone who visits the grave. So, it should be carefully selected with the individual in mind. Jewish headstone symbols can also play a meaningful role in the monument’s layout. Finally, choosing whether to order a double monument (for a spouse that has not passed) is also an important choice to make.

older woman with family member

Making these choices carefully will help you to create a fitting monument, which will help you to reflect when visiting.

 

Jewish Monuments on Long Island

At Fox Monuments, we’re dedicated to helping families and friends overcome the death of a loved one. Our high-quality headstones are designed specifically for each individual. We’ll work to streamline this process for you, giving you the time you need to take care of other concerns. Most importantly, we’ll help to make a difficult time less stressful and painless for you and your family.

3 Ways to Offer Socially Distanced Condolences in the Time of COVID-19

Headstone in a Jewish cemetery with Star of David and memory stones

There are so many unprecedented measures currently in place as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. These measures are having a dramatic effect on several families losing loved ones during this very uncertain time. As we’re unable to gather or assemble in large groups, it can be doubly painful for mourners. Common Jewish traditions around the end of life, like Shiva, have been completely disrupted.

Usually, when a Jewish individual passes, their family receives a lot of emotional and physical support from friends, family and community. This kind of support is integral to the Jewish faith. However, in the age of COVID-19, how do we express condolences to those who have suffered a loss?

In this post, we’ll explore how to express condolences safely during the COVID-19 pandemic.

 

1. Find a Digital Way to Engage

Nowadays, physical presence is often not an option when it comes to expressing condolences. Therefore, we must redefine how we support our grieving friends and family. In some cases, families will visit monuments, hold a burial or shiva but restrict the number of visitors. However, most families are not holding gatherings of any kind in order to eliminate the risk of COVID-19.

While you can’t physically be with the mourning family, you can still send support in other ways. Technology has provided us with means of adapting to social distancing guidelines. Many businesses are utilizing Zoom, FaceTime and other video technology to operate safely. You can contact any friends or family who have suffered a loss the same way to express your condolences without being in the same room.

 

3. Prepare Meals For the Family or Have Food Delivered

In the Jewish faith, it’s common to prepare meals of consolation for grieving families. The meal of consolation, also known as the meal of condolence, is one of the many ways in which we can help friends through their grief. To ease the stress of the mourning family, the community often provides them a a meal. So, both the presence of the food and the warm gesture contribute to the impact of the meal of condolence.

In addition, this can be a safe way to express your sympathy to a grieving family. You can send the meal to them without any physical interaction. Therefore, during this uncertain age of COVID-19, it’s an optimal way to send your condolences and pay your respects.

 

3. Plant a Tree In Their Memory

Planting a memorial tree for an individual is a safe and appropriate way to pay tribute to someone you’ve lost. This is a highly respected Jewish tradition for several life events and more specifically, it’s a way to honor the life and legacy of friends, family and those no longer present. Together with the planting of the tree, a memorial certificate will be created and sent to the family to honor their loved one and also express condolences.

 

Conclusion

While there will never be a substitute for human interaction, these can safely help you to show your support for grieving friends and family. Right now, we all have to make adjustments that feel counterintuitive. However, it’s of paramount importance to keep each other safe until COVID-19 is behind us entirely. At Fox Monuments, we’re still here to provide you with stunning and enduring custom Jewish headstones to honor your loved ones.

COVID-19: Safety at Shivas and Memorials

jewish mourning

Sitting shiva is a consummate Jewish tradition. Without a doubt, it’s one of the most monumental customs within the Jewish faith. Additionally, many consider it to be the most important step in the mourning process. However, how do we sit shiva during this period of social distancing?

At this time, we’re all doing our best to acclimate to unique circumstances. As COVID-19 continues to impact our ability to gather, most of us are still wondering how to proceed in many areas.

At Fox Monuments, we’ve served Long Island’s Jewish community for several decades. Our primary goal is to guide and support families throughout some of the most painful and difficult phases. In this post, we’ll explore shiva and funeral safety in the time of COVID-19.

What is Shiva?

As most of us know, within the Jewish faith, the body of the deceased is buried immediately. Then, for up to seven days after, the bereaved family receives visitors and mourners in their home. Extended family, friends and neighbors visit the home to gather and pay their respects throughout the shiva period.

Usually, the shiva is in the home of the deceased, or one of their family members. Very often, those attending wear torn garments or black ribbon to reflect their state of mourning. Many bring food in order to console the grieving family.

Traditionally, the shiva lasts seven days. In fact, in Hebrew, “shiva” means seven. However, most contemporary families condense shiva into a period of one to four days.

Shiva & Funerals Now

The recent spread of coronavirus makes planning gatherings particularly difficult nowadays. We’re all being encouraged to maintain social distancing and limit gatherings to fewer than ten people. In addition, it seems as if there are new official guidelines and policies on a daily basis. It’s hard to avoid total confusion in the midst of so much uncertainty.

For grieving families, the inability to gather with other mourners can be doubly difficult. Obviously, our natural inclination is to provide support to those who have lost loved ones. Having to compromise on funerals after losing a loved one can be very painful and disorienting.

Unfortunately, right now we have no official policy in place when it comes to shiva and funerals. However, in New York we’re currently limited to gatherings of ten people or less. While this can be frustrating, the safety of our community is paramount.

Keeping Shiva Safe

There are ways to host shiva safely. First, you can regulate the flow of guests by allocating specific times for certain visitors. This way, you’ll be able to limit the amount of people in your home and keep it below ten. Stay in touch with friends and family and decide on a schedule.

In addition, encourage everyone to wear face coverings. Admittedly, this may seem very counterintuitive, especially for mourning attire. However, it’s very necessary at the moment to preventing the spread of COVID-19. Also, be sure to have everyone wash their hands and maintain distances of six feet or more. Implementing these practices might seem like an additional burden. But, they’re a way to ensure you can both honor your faith and keep your community safe.

Fox Monuments

Fox Monuments has always strived to honor the Jewish tradition with gorgeous, custom monuments. Our work is about paying tribute to the Jewish faith and honoring the lives of your loved ones with enduring memorials. No matter what kind of hardships we may collectively face, we’ll maintain our commitment to serving our community.

After Jewish Monuments: What is the Jewish Afterlife

jewish-afterlife

At Fox Monuments, we help Long Island’s Jewish families in difficult and stressful periods. By crafting Jewish monuments for departed loved ones, we help grieving families pay tribute to their heritage and religion. Naturally, the afterlife is often the primary focus of conversations about religion. Christianity has a fairly black-and-white answer to these questions. However, Judaism has a much more nuanced and complex response. Nonetheless, the Jewish afterlife is a critical element of religion as a whole.

 

Ambiguous Scripture: Sheol

Unlike Christianity, Jewish text doesn’t explicitly detail the concept of an afterlife. Nonetheless, after burying the deceased in front of a Jewish monument, there is no sense of uncertainty surrounding their spiritual path.

The Torah alludes to a life following existence on earth. This afterlife, which takes place in the Sheol, is a space where souls go immediately after death. While there’s nothing that describes this explicitly, many people living during this era were familiar with this. There are clues that indicate that Sheol was in the center of the earth, but no hard evidence. Therefore, after burial, people believe their souls would journey to this place.

The idea that it was a temporary resting location was central to the Sheol. Eventually, during the judgement day, God would wake those deemed worthy from sleep, and live forever. This somewhat coincides with the ideas behind the symbols present on Jewish headstones.

 

Messianic Era: Resurrection

The next distinct era in terms of Jewish thought regarding the afterlife developed around the time that Christianity emerged.

The primary belief behind this idea was that the resurrection would take place during the Messianic Era, or shortly thereafter. There is even more confusion regarding who would be resurrected. Some people held belief that everyone would experience resurrection. Others thought that only the righteous would be. Either way, a proper burial with a Jewish monument was still important.

 

The World To Come

Most often, this is the language believers associate with the concept of an afterlife in Hebrew writings.

In early sources of study for rabbis, the “World to Come” is mentioned, as a highly spiritual realm. It is also compared to desirable physical sensations, like sex. Regardless, for entry into this World to Come, Jewish people must be buried with proper Jewish monuments.

Scholars who have interpreted these texts have specific interpretations about the World to Come. Some believe that the World to Come is during the resurrection. In this line of thinking, the righteous would enjoy living after the event. However, others believed that the World to Come would arrive even after the Resurrection, with all of those who were resurrected. This school of thought posits that those participating would die a second death.

After that, they’d experience the bliss of the World to Come in a purely spiritual sense. The third interpretation states that this bliss would immediately follow life. For this reason, people pay close attention to the design of Jewish monuments.

One ancient tradition of designating a person to protect the body is still relevant today. Called Shemira, this practice requires a non-family member to protect the body before it is buried. In order to pay tribute to deceased relatives in the afterlife, lighting Yahrzeit candles is a common practice.

 

Do Heaven and Hell Exist in Jewish Writings?

The concepts behind Heaven and Hell in Judaism are not as specific as those in other religions. There is apocalyptic language that suggests a concept very similar to Hell. Called Gehinnom, Jewish texts describe this place where non-righteous people go as being fiery and dark.

Jewish people believe that life doesn’t end. Rather than dying, the Torah suggested that Abraham went to rest with his fathers. Similarly, the Talmud text relates the stories of people who travelled to and from this spiritual destination.

 

Modern Schools of Thought

In modern times, most sects of Judaism believe in the World to Come within these scriptures. In accordance with these beliefs, they also agree with the concept of a Judgement Day. Despite this, there is uncertainty between sects about exactly how the Judgement Day will unfold. As a way of paying tribute to the deceased, and helping them reach the afterlife, hosting a proper Jewish memorial service is essential.

Orthodox Jews maintain belief that physical bodies (rather than the soul) will be resurrected on the Judgement Day.

 

Jewish Monuments

To truly capture the legacy of your loved one’s life, an exquisitely-crafted Jewish memorial is the perfect first step. Our artisan designers can create a beautiful testament to your loved one’s life.

Offering full design, creation and setting services, Fox Monuments can take care of the whole process for your loved one. For more information, contact us today!