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Month by month, we explore the rich and complex Jewish traditions surrounding death, mourning, and funerals. Judaism is one of the world’s most ancient and revered religions, with countless practices and customs surrounding the end of life. Understanding these customs helps friends and family provide meaningful support while honoring the deeply rooted traditions of Jewish communities.

The customs surrounding Jewish funerals are designed to show respect for the deceased, comfort the bereaved, and maintain a connection between family, faith, and community. In a previous post, we discussed a guide to sitting shiva for non-Jews. In this post, we will focus on the role of flowers in Jewish funerals and why they are considered inappropriate, while offering alternatives to express sympathy and support.

Why Aren’t Flowers Appropriate at Jewish Funerals?

For many cultures, sending flowers to a funeral is almost automatic. It’s a traditional gesture meant to convey sympathy and let the bereaved know that you are thinking of them. However, in Jewish tradition, flowers are generally discouraged and sometimes even considered inappropriate for several reasons.

1. Funerals Are Solemn, Not Celebratory

Jewish funerals are solemn and reflective occasions, intended to honor the deceased and allow the family to begin their mourning process. Bright, colorful flowers are often associated with celebration and festivity, which can feel discordant at a Jewish funeral. While it is natural to want to brighten the space or offer beauty, in this context, flowers are seen as potentially disruptive to the grieving process.

Families may view flower deliveries as an unnecessary decoration rather than a meaningful expression of sympathy. The funeral is a time for contemplation and remembrance, not for displays that might suggest celebration.

2. Focus on Permanence and Memory

In Judaism, remembrance is a central theme. One of the most common practices is placing small stones on graves as a permanent marker of memory and respect. Unlike flowers, which are temporary and fade quickly, stones represent enduring remembrance. Sending flowers, with their transient nature, contrasts sharply with this cultural emphasis on permanence and lasting memory.

Placing stones on a loved one’s grave is a symbolic gesture that emphasizes the permanence of memory and the lasting bond between the living and the deceased, making flowers an unnecessary or even counterproductive addition.

The Jewish Funeral Process

To fully understand why flowers are discouraged, it is important to understand the Jewish funeral and mourning process, which differs in several key ways from many other cultural traditions.

1. Rapid Funeral Arrangements

Jewish tradition encourages that funerals occur as soon as possible, often within 24 hours of death. Exceptions may be made to allow mourners to travel, but generally, there is little delay. The emphasis is on promptly honoring the deceased and beginning the mourning period.

2. Preparation of the Body by the Chevra Kadisha

The Chevra Kadisha, a sacred burial society, washes, purifies, and prepares the body according to Jewish law. This process, called taharah, treats the deceased with dignity and respect. Families usually bury their loved ones in simple wooden caskets and avoid embalming. These practices reflect Jewish values of humility, equality, and respect for life and death.

4. Unveiling Ceremony

Months after the burial, many families hold an unveiling ceremony to dedicate the headstone or monument. While this is an opportunity for reflection and remembrance, flowers are still not typically part of the ceremony. The emphasis remains on spiritual commemoration, prayer, and enduring symbols of memory.

Alternative Ways to Express Sympathy

Even though flowers are discouraged, there are many meaningful ways to support Jewish families in mourning. Thoughtful gestures can offer comfort, alleviate practical burdens, and honor the deceased in accordance with tradition.

1. Providing Meals or Care Packages

Food is one of the most practical and appreciated forms of support during shiva. Families often receive visitors throughout the day, and preparing or sending meals ensures they are nourished without added stress. Typical shiva care packages might include:

• Pastries, breads, or baked goods
• Fresh fruit and nuts
• Coffee, tea, and beverages
• Candies or fine chocolates
• Prepared meals with meat, fish, or vegetarian options
• Salads, sides, and condiments

Some friends and community members go further by arranging full catering for the family during shiva, ensuring they have meals for the duration of the mourning period.

2. Visiting During Shiva

Attending shiva is a meaningful way to show support. Visitors are expected to observe customs respectfully, including dressing modestly, offering simple condolences such as “May their memory be a blessing”, and participating in prayers if invited. Avoid asking intrusive questions about the death and refrain from unnecessary distractions.

3. Sending Sympathy Cards or Letters

A heartfelt card or letter can express your condolences in a thoughtful and appropriate way. Writing a personal message allows you to honor the memory of the deceased and provide emotional support for the family without conflicting with religious customs.

4. Charitable Donations (Tzedakah)

Making a donation in memory of the deceased, known as tzedakah, is one of the most meaningful gestures you can make. Contributions to synagogues, educational institutions, hospitals, or social services in the deceased’s name honor their legacy while supporting others in need. Informing the family of the donation is customary and ensures that your gesture is recognized as an act of respect and love.

Respecting Jewish Mourning Customs

When supporting a Jewish family, it is important to recognize that mourning is a structured, multi-stage process. The family may go through intense emotional periods during shiva, the first 30 days after burial, and on the anniversary of the death (yahrzeit). Respecting these customs includes:

• Being mindful of timing and appropriateness of visits
• Providing practical help such as errands, childcare, or meal delivery
• Offering support without imposing personal beliefs or rituals
• Recognizing that the family may prioritize prayer, reflection, and quiet mourning

These practices ensure that your support aligns with Jewish tradition and genuinely helps the family during this challenging time.

Honoring the Deceased

Jewish mourning emphasizes memory and legacy. Beyond immediate gestures, there are many ways to honor the deceased, including:

• Lighting a candle on the yahrzeit (anniversary of death)
• Reciting prayers or attending memorial services
• Visiting the grave and placing a stone to symbolize remembrance
• Supporting charitable causes that were meaningful to the deceased
• Creating lasting memorials such as headstones or monuments that reflect faith and legacy

By participating in these practices, friends and family demonstrate respect, support, and an enduring connection to those who have passed away.

Conclusion

Jewish funerals and mourning customs are steeped in tradition, emphasizing respect, solemnity, and lasting remembrance. While sending flowers is not appropriate, there are numerous meaningful ways to support grieving families, including meals, care packages, shiva visits, sympathy cards, and charitable donations. Each gesture, when aligned with Jewish customs, conveys compassion, respect, and care.

At Fox Memorials, our mission is to create extraordinary Jewish monuments and headstones that honor the lives and faith of your loved ones. For decades, we have worked with Long Island’s Jewish community to craft memorials that serve as lasting tributes. Through careful attention to tradition and a commitment to quality, we help families navigate the mourning process while honoring the memory of those they have lost.

Providing guidance, support, and beautiful, faith-centered memorials is the cornerstone of our work. From Jewish double monuments to custom headstones, Fox Memorials ensures that each tribute reflects the life, legacy, and faith of your loved ones.

When a loved one passes away, coming together as a community is one of the most meaningful parts of the mourning process. Gathering for a funeral, sharing stories, sitting shiva, and supporting one another in person has always been central to Jewish tradition. But in today’s world, there are times when families simply cannot be together—whether due to distance, illness, travel limitations, or other circumstances beyond anyone’s control.

Even when mourners are miles apart, the need for connection and remembrance remains. Fortunately, there are many heartfelt and meaningful ways to honor a loved one, uphold Jewish values, and maintain a sense of togetherness—no matter where family and friends may be.

At Fox Memorials of Long Island, we understand how important thoughtful memorialization is. For generations, our team has helped families create Jewish monuments, headstones, etchings, and memorials that beautifully preserve tradition and honor loved ones. In this guide, we share three meaningful ideas for holding funerals or memorial gatherings when you are unable to come together in person.

Why Alternative Memorial Options Matter More Than Ever

Families today are often spread across states—or even across the world. It’s also increasingly common for elderly relatives or immunocompromised individuals to be unable to travel. These logistical challenges can make it difficult or impossible for everyone to attend a funeral in person.

Yet Jewish mourning emphasizes community, shared memory, and honoring the deceased together. When physical presence isn’t an option, alternative approaches ensure that:

• Loved ones can participate, regardless of distance
• Jewish traditions are maintained to the greatest extent possible
• Families feel supported during an emotional time
• The memory of the departed is honored properly

Whether you’re planning a funeral, unveiling, or memorial service, the ideas below can help you create a meaningful, connected experience—even when you can’t be in the same room.

1. Host a Virtual Funeral or Shiva Gathering

Virtual memorials have become one of the most impactful ways to bring people together from anywhere in the world. With the help of video platforms like Zoom, families can coordinate a funeral service, a memorial, or even a multi-day Shiva gathering that feels intimate and personal.

How Virtual Funerals Work

A virtual funeral can range from a simple livestream of the graveside service to a full, interactive ceremony where family and friends can speak. Many synagogues and funeral homes now offer livestreaming options, making it easy to involve those who cannot attend in person.

Typical elements of a virtual funeral include:

• Opening prayers and blessings
• Words from a rabbi or officiant
• Eulogies from family and friends
• Reflections, readings, or Psalms
• Memorial slideshows or photographs
• Opportunities for participants to share stories

Even though attendees aren’t physically together, the shared experience can feel surprisingly connected and emotionally powerful.

Hosting a Virtual Shiva

Shiva is traditionally held in the home of the mourners, offering an opportunity for community members to visit, offer condolences, and support the family. When gathering in person isn’t feasible, a virtual Shiva can maintain the sense of closeness and comfort that is so central to this tradition.

Virtual Shiva elements can include:

• Daily gathering times for friends and relatives
• Candle lighting to open the virtual space
• Reading of Psalms
• Sharing of memories and stories
• Group recitation of the Mourner’s Kaddish (if a minyan is present)
• A moderated structure so everyone has time to participate

Many families say that virtual Shiva gatherings allow even more relatives to join—especially older family members, out-of-state children, or relatives living abroad.

Tips for Creating a Meaningful Virtual Service

To make the experience smooth and respectful:

• Choose a host or moderator to manage the technical elements
• Test the platform in advance
• Create an agenda or order of service
• Share a link and instructions with guests early
• Use a slideshow or video tribute to help bring memories to life
• Consider professional livestreaming services for graveside ceremonies

When done thoughtfully, a virtual memorial can be just as meaningful as an in-person ceremony—with the added benefit of enabling broad participation from all who loved the deceased.

2. Create a Shared Memorial Activity for Everyone to Do at Home

If coordinating a live gathering is difficult due to time zones, schedules, or technology challenges, a shared memorial activity can allow everyone to honor the loved one at their own pace—while still feeling connected to the larger family.

These activities are simple, heartfelt gestures that can be done simultaneously or individually, and they hold deep significance in Jewish mourning traditions.

Lighting a Candle at the Same Time

Lighting a memorial candle is a powerful way to honor the deceased. In Jewish custom, a yahrzeit candle is lit on the anniversary of a loved one’s passing, but lighting a candle can be meaningful at any time during mourning.

Families can coordinate a time when everyone lights a candle in honor of the loved one. Even if you light your candle alone, knowing that others are doing the same brings a comforting sense of unity.

Consider sharing:

• A prayer
• A memory
• A short message
• A photo of the candle

Many families use a group text or WhatsApp thread so everyone can send their candle pictures and messages together.

Sharing Memories in a Virtual Memory Book

A digital memory book is a beautiful and lasting way to honor someone—especially when people can’t gather in person. Services like Google Docs, Dropbox Paper, or dedicated memorial sites allow participants to upload:

• Stories
• Photos
• Letters
• Messages of support
• Favorite memories
• Poems or prayers

This becomes a cherished keepsake for the family and can later be incorporated into a printed memorial book or even included during the unveiling ceremony.

Coordinated Acts of Kindness

Jewish tradition emphasizes doing good deeds (mitzvot) in memory of the deceased. Families can choose a shared mitzvah to perform—each person completing it in their own location.

Examples include:

• Donating to a charity the loved one supported
• Volunteering virtually or in the community
• Preparing food for someone in need
• Making a charitable contribution in the person’s honor

These acts help keep the memory of the loved one alive while allowing the family to honor Jewish values together, even when separated.

Reciting Psalms or Prayers

Not everyone can physically gather to pray together, but families can still coordinate the reading of specific Psalms or prayers in the same hour or on the same day. Many choose:

• Psalm 23
• Psalm 91
• El Maleh Rachamim
• The Mourner’s Kaddish (when a minyan is available)

Sharing a short video or message after completing the prayer can strengthen the feeling of collective remembrance.

3. Plan a Delayed Memorial or Unveiling Ceremony for When You Can Gather

If distance makes an immediate funeral or memorial difficult, planning a delayed gathering can provide families with both emotional closure and the ability to honor their loved one in person when the time is right.

Jewish tradition already incorporates a later memorial moment: the unveiling ceremony, typically held within the first year after burial. For families who cannot gather for the funeral, the unveiling provides a meaningful opportunity to come together later—often when travel, schedules, or health constraints have improved.

Why a Delayed Memorial Can Be Meaningful

Many families choose to hold a funeral or burial with only immediate relatives present, then plan a more complete memorial service at a later date. This allows:

• Out-of-town relatives to participate
• Children, grandchildren, or older family members to travel comfortably
• Families to plan a thoughtful, personal service without urgency

This delayed memorial can include readings, prayers, stories, and rituals that honor the loved one with the time and attention they deserve.

Planning a Thoughtful Jewish Unveiling Ceremony

The unveiling of the monument or headstone is one of the most sacred and meaningful Jewish mourning traditions. It symbolizes permanence, honor, and remembrance.

At Fox Memorials, we design and craft custom Jewish headstones, monuments, and etchings that reflect the individual’s life, faith, and heritage. When families plan an unveiling, they often choose to:

• Share a dedication or brief eulogy
• Recite Psalms
• Unveil the monument together as a family
• Read inscriptions that preserve the loved one’s memory
• Place stones on the grave as a sign of respect
• Gather afterward for a meal or quiet moment

When family members cannot attend the funeral itself, the unveiling provides a profound opportunity to participate in the mourning process and honor their loved one in a meaningful way.

Incorporating Remote Participation into the Unveiling

Even if many relatives can attend the unveiling at a later date, some may still be unable to travel. In those cases, livestreaming the ceremony or recording the unveiling ensures that everyone has a chance to take part.

Fox Memorials can work directly with families to ensure headstones and monuments are completed in time for the unveiling and that all cultural and religious details are correct and beautifully executed.

Honoring Jewish Tradition Even When Apart

One of the greatest strengths of Jewish mourning practices is the emphasis on remembrance—both immediately after death and throughout the entire first year and beyond. When families cannot gather in person, these traditions can still be upheld with care and respect.

Even from afar, families can maintain:

• The importance of prayer
• Acts of kindness in the loved one’s name
• Community support
• The creation of lasting memorials
• Respect for heritage, culture, and spirituality

With today’s technology and the timeless nature of Jewish customs, there are more ways than ever to honor a loved one’s memory with meaning and dignity.

How Fox Memorials Supports Families During Difficult Times

At Fox Memorials of Long Island, we understand how overwhelming it can feel to make decisions after losing a loved one—especially when distance complicates the process.

Our team provides compassionate guidance and expert craftsmanship in:

• Jewish monuments
• Custom headstones
• Engraving and etching
• Double monuments
• Monument cleaning and repair
• Personalized memorial designs

Every headstone and monument is crafted with deep respect for Jewish heritage, symbolism, and tradition. Whether your family is local or spread across the country, we ensure your loved one’s memorial is a permanent, beautiful tribute.

Final Thoughts

Being separated from loved ones during a time of loss is incredibly difficult. But with a combination of modern technology and timeless Jewish traditions, families can still come together—spiritually, emotionally, and symbolically.

Whether through virtual gatherings, shared memorial activities, or a delayed unveiling ceremony, it is absolutely possible to honor a loved one meaningfully, even from afar.

If your family is planning a memorial or unveiling and needs assistance creating a lasting tribute, Fox Memorials is here to help with expertise, compassion, and a deep understanding of Jewish memorial traditions.

A monument’s purpose is to commemorate an individual. Monuments allow visitors to reflect on pleasant times they shared together. Families choose to celebrate their loved ones by pre-planning a Jewish family monument.

Ordering a Jewish Family Monument

At Fox Memorials, we regularly guide families through this difficult time. Contact our team with any questions or special requests.

Why Pre-Order a Jewish Family Monument?

For many families, resting close to loved ones is significant. This arrangement offers families the opportunity to journey into the afterlife together and rest eternally with each other.

Convenient Visitation

Ordering a Jewish family monument offers family members and friends convenient visitation. Instead of visiting several sites or cemeteries, families can have one reflective experience while paying respects.

Religious Reasons

Jewish scripture emphasizes the importance of family, especially during the difficult time of mourning. The entire grieving, burial, and shiva process relies on the support and care of family members. While not a requirement, Jews traditionally rest among family. Purchasing a Jewish family monument allows people to rest together eternally.

Preserving Your Legacy

Jewish family monuments offer a unique way to tell your family’s story, and preserve your legacy. While personalized monuments have similar design options, family monuments take this to the next level. Jewish family monuments tend to be larger than traditional upright headstones. In fact, many span several burial plots.

This larger headstone comes with additional space for further inscriptions. However, this does not include only text. Families may choose to have their crest inscribed, as a way to honor their roots.

 

Types of Jewish Family Monuments

Depending on the size of the family, there are several different types of Jewish family monuments available. Our Jewish monument artists can create unique and customized headstones, regardless of the complexity of the request.

Family Headstone

Larger headstones can be placed in a burial plot to indicate the place of several members of a family. These larger Jewish memorials are easier to notice as people walk through the cemetery.

Often, family headstones are accompanied by individual footstones. These footstones, or footmarkers, generally list individual details like name, dates, and more.

Double Headstone

Double headstones are a more common option than family headstones, as they are for couples. This burial is a testament to the love and joyous occasions shared through life. Double headstones are often a more economical choice than individual upright memorials, too.

Being buried with a bashert ensures a shared eternal resting place.

How Do Family Monuments Work?

While some family monuments are designed to feature minimal details, like the last name, this is not always the case. Others can have detailed inscriptions for each member of the family. Additional details can be easily added later on, without the monument being removed, by a monument artist.

Customizing Your Jewish Family Monument

One of the most meaningful aspects of a family monument is the opportunity to personalize it. Customizations can range from inscriptions and images to symbolic carvings that represent the family’s heritage or values.

Inscriptions and Epitaphs

Inscriptions allow families to honor their loved ones with words that resonate. Common inscriptions include meaningful quotes, biblical verses, or expressions of love. Personalized epitaphs ensure that future generations understand the significance of each individual’s life.

Symbolic Engravings

Many Jewish family monuments include religious symbols like the Star of David, menorahs, or other motifs that reflect faith and tradition. Additionally, families may choose cultural symbols or family crests, providing a visual narrative of their ancestry.

Material and Design Options

Jewish family monuments are crafted from durable materials such as granite, marble, or bronze. Each material offers unique benefits in terms of longevity, appearance, and maintenance. Our artists can recommend a material and finish that complements both the monument and the cemetery surroundings.

Planning and Placement Considerations

Choosing the right location for your family monument is crucial. Cemeteries often have regulations regarding size, material, and placement. Planning ahead ensures the monument fits within these requirements while maximizing accessibility for visitation.

Site Selection

Families often choose a location that offers a peaceful environment for reflection and remembrance. Proximity to other family members’ plots can enhance the sense of unity. Additionally, accessibility for elderly visitors should be considered to ensure everyone can visit comfortably.

Future Expansion

When designing a Jewish family monument, consider future family needs. Monuments can be created with extra space to accommodate additional inscriptions for generations to come, ensuring the family legacy continues to be honored.

Working With Fox Memorials

Our experienced team at Fox Memorials guides families through each step of ordering a Jewish family monument. From design consultation to installation, we ensure that every detail reflects your family’s wishes. With years of expertise, our artists can turn your vision into a lasting tribute that will be cherished for generations.

Consultation and Design

We begin with an in-depth consultation to understand your family’s needs. Our artists provide 3D renderings, helping families visualize the final monument. Changes and additions can be made during this stage, ensuring satisfaction before production.

Installation and Maintenance

Once the monument is complete, our team coordinates the installation with the cemetery. We also provide maintenance advice to preserve the monument’s beauty and integrity over time. Proper care ensures the monument remains a meaningful tribute for decades.

Conclusion

Ordering a Jewish family monument is a deeply personal process, offering families the chance to honor loved ones, preserve their legacy, and create a lasting place for reflection. With careful planning, thoughtful customization, and expert guidance from Fox Memorials, families can ensure their memories are commemorated with dignity and respect.

For more information on selecting the right Jewish family monument, contact Fox Memorials today.

At Fox Monuments, providing Long Island’s Jewish community with unforgettable monuments that honor their lives and faith is a part of our central mission. We have years of experience guiding our clients through difficult times and ensuring a smooth and stress-free process. We understand that for many people, making arrangements toward the end of life can be uncomfortable and disheartening. Creating a will, selecting beneficiaries, and downsizing to a smaller living space can be very challenging. However, making these arrangements, along with pre-planning a Jewish monument, is important for your peace of mind, and your family’s welfare.

In this post, we’ll discuss five reasons you should pre-plan a Jewish monument. For these reasons and more, pre-planning is significantly preferable to having your family make arrangements following your passing.

1. Decide How Your Legacy Will be Told

After the passing of a relative, it’s common for families to gather and discuss the details of the Jewish headstone. This isn’t a straightforward process, and there are several matters to consider.

• How should you phrase the headstone inscription describing your relationships to family members?
• Is there an epitaph that’s meaningful to your life? Epitaphs are often taken from scripture or memorial readings. However, literary quotes and song lyrics are also common options.
• Is there a particular cemetery you have in mind for burial?
• Should you include any headstone symbols like the Star of David or a Menorah?
• Do you have a preference for the headstone material?

When you pre-plan your Jewish monument, you’re deciding all of this yourself. The way that you present this information can affect how people remember you when they visit your headstone. Pre-planning your Jewish monument allows you to shape this experience.

This also removes an enormous burden from your family in several ways. First, they avoid the timely and difficult process of discussing this information and arriving at a collective decision. Second, your family members will be confident in knowing that they didn’t make a mistake or violate your wishes. This is a priceless assurance, especially during such a stressful time.

Additionally, pre-planning allows you to consider long-term maintenance for your monument. You can ensure that the materials and design you select are durable and suitable for Long Island’s climate, reducing the risk of costly repairs or replacements for your family in the future.

2. Make Decisions With Your Spouse

In the Jewish tradition, it’s common for people to rest alongside their loved ones. Double Jewish headstones enable people to continue sharing their lifelong bond, even in the afterlife. Pre-planning a Jewish monument with your spouse will allow you to be unanimous in all these decisions.

Because both of you will have input in the inscriptions and layout, you’ll both maintain total confidence that the Jewish headstone will be a proper and fitting memorial.

Beyond inscriptions and design, couples can also coordinate the location within the cemetery and choose matching materials or symbols, creating a cohesive tribute that reflects both lives together. This level of planning ensures harmony and a sense of shared intention.

3. Spare Your Family A Burden

When a loved one passes away, it’s often the most stressful time for families. This is especially true following a loved one’s unexpected passing. They’ll have to contact other family members and friends, plan the memorial service, make arrangements with a funeral home, and possibly travel great distances.

On top of all of this stress, they have to order a Jewish monument. Pre-planning your monument eliminates this responsibility during an already challenging time.

By pre-planning, you give your family a clear record of your preferences. This reduces disagreements among relatives and prevents decision-making conflicts at a time when emotions are high. This guidance provides not just convenience, but emotional relief and clarity.

Furthermore, pre-planning can allow you to include special instructions for personalized touches, such as flowers, specific epitaphs, or religious rituals, ensuring your monument truly reflects your values and heritage.

4. Cover the Expense

For many families, financing funeral expenses from the departed’s estate is common. This can become particularly difficult, especially when there are other expenses that this money must cover. If you have the necessary funds, it’s helpful to cover the cost beforehand. When you pre-plan your Jewish monument, you’ll find tremendous comfort in knowing that they can finance the other expenses as well.

Over time, headstone prices can increase due to inflation. Ordering a Jewish headstone in the present will ensure that you don’t fall victim to increased prices later on.

Additionally, pre-paying allows you to select financing options that suit your budget, lock in current pricing, and potentially benefit from package deals offered by monument companies. This proactive approach provides your family with financial stability during a difficult period.

5. Preparing the Monument

When families have to order a Jewish headstone, it’s generally not prepared by the time of the funeral. This is normal; to create high-quality headstones, most companies require time.

However, with a pre-planned monument, it will be fully prepared by the time of the funeral. While the Jewish headstone may still be obscured as part of the unveiling ceremony, knowing there’s a complete monument there will help your family.

Pre-planning also allows you to request custom features, like intricate carvings, unique shapes, or special inscriptions, which require more time to craft. By arranging this ahead of time, you ensure the final monument meets your expectations without rushing production.

Two More Reasons…

6. Incorporating Family Heritage and Traditions

Another advantage of pre-planning is the ability to incorporate long-standing family traditions or heritage elements into the monument. For instance, you might include symbols, motifs, or inscriptions that reflect your family’s history or religious lineage. This ensures the monument is not just a tribute to an individual, but a celebration of your entire family’s heritage.

Pre-planning gives you the opportunity to consult with family members about which traditions are most important to include. This ensures that your legacy is honored accurately and respectfully, while also creating a meaningful and personalized monument for future generations to appreciate.

7. Peace of Mind and Emotional Relief

Perhaps the most significant benefit of pre-planning a Jewish monument is the peace of mind it provides. Knowing that every detail has been thoughtfully considered allows you to focus on living, rather than worrying about what will happen after your passing.

Your family benefits from this foresight as well. They can grieve without feeling pressured to make hurried decisions, confident that they are honoring your wishes exactly as you intended. Pre-planning is ultimately an act of love, demonstrating consideration and care for your family’s emotional well-being.

Contact Us to Pre-Plan Your Monument

At Fox Monuments, we’re dedicated to helping families through this difficult time and creating an enduring, unforgettable memorial. If you’re looking to spare your family the stress and expense of handling these arrangements, contact our team.

Our team will provide the information you need to make these decisions and the peace of mind in knowing that you’ve taken care of them. For more information, contact Fox Monuments today.

For additional guidance on planning and caring for Jewish monuments, explore our related posts, including ordering a Jewish family monument and choosing headstone symbols and designs.

Jewish funeral etiquette concerns the practice of comforting friends and family during the memorial. But did you know that there’s also specific etiquette within a cemetery? This etiquette outlines the expected behavior within graveyards and provides guidance for honoring the deceased properly.

Judaism is a religion with deep historical roots. As a result, there are many specific customs and rituals when it comes to death. These practices not only help mourners express grief but also ensure that the deceased are treated with dignity and respect. Understanding cemetery etiquette can help visitors avoid unintentional disrespect and participate in meaningful acts of remembrance.

Kalut Rosh (“Levity”)

A cemetery is considered a holy place in Judaism. In fact, it’s as sacred as a temple. Our conduct must be proper and dignified. Essentially, we must be as respectful as possible, reflecting the sanctity of the environment and the solemnity of the occasion.

Kalut rosh means the “spirit of levity.” Basically, it refers to unruly or frivolous behavior. The “spirit of levity” is strictly prohibited in Jewish cemeteries. It is not only forbidden at a grave but throughout the cemetery. The idea is that the cemetery is a space for reflection, respect, and spiritual contemplation.

Those in a cemetery cannot eat or drink. It’s not allowed at the unveiling ceremony either. Eating or drinking is considered a severe disrespect and violates the honor of the deceased.

Visitors are also expected to dress appropriately. Casual or everyday clothing is viewed as disrespectful. Wearing formal, modest attire shows reverence for the sanctity of the cemetery and for those interred there.

Sitting or stepping on a gravestone is another form of kalut rosh. While sitting within the cemetery is permitted, stepping on gravestones or using them as seats is considered deeply offensive. Gravestones are sacred markers, and proper behavior shows acknowledgment of their spiritual and memorial significance.

Any flowers that grow naturally within the cemetery should remain untouched. Picking flowers from a cemetery is strictly forbidden, as these living tributes are part of the sacred environment and symbolize the beauty of life and memory.

Lo’eg Larash (“Slighting of the Dead”)

Lo’eg larash refers to actions that might be pleasurable or frivolous, which are strictly forbidden in a cemetery. The concept emphasizes that activities enjoyed by the living, especially those that entertain or distract, are inappropriate in the presence of the deceased.

This includes reciting Psalms or conducting formal services that are intended for entertainment or pleasure. Bringing a Torah or other religious items into a cemetery for purposes other than solemn rituals is also discouraged. Essentially, the principle of lo’eg larash ensures that the cemetery remains a dignified space devoted to reflection and remembrance, free from distractions or activities that might diminish its sanctity.

By observing lo’eg larash, visitors help maintain the cemetery as a quiet, contemplative place. It reminds mourners and family members that the space is reserved for honoring life, remembering the deceased, and performing acts of spiritual reflection rather than worldly enjoyment.

Memorial Gifts

While much cemetery etiquette focuses on prohibitions, there are also positive actions encouraged by tradition. One such practice is giving memorial gifts to honor the deceased. After the burial, visitors may bring tokens of remembrance or contribute to charitable acts in the name of the deceased.

Gifts can range from a small article of sacred text to donations made in memory of the departed. These gestures reflect the values of charity and generosity central to Jewish tradition. They are acts of respect that benefit both the deceased and the broader community.

Another longstanding custom involves making donations during shiva. Charitable contributions made in memory of the deceased honor their life and perpetuate their legacy through good deeds. These acts are meaningful and reinforce the values of compassion and communal responsibility within Judaism.

Visiting the Cemetery

Visiting a cemetery is a deeply personal and spiritual experience in Judaism. It is customary to visit the graves of loved ones, particularly during significant anniversaries or Jewish holidays such as Yom Kippur and Yahrzeit, the anniversary of a death. Observing proper etiquette during these visits reinforces the sacredness of the cemetery and demonstrates respect for both the living and the deceased.

When visiting, it is traditional to leave a small stone on the gravestone as a mark of remembrance. This gesture symbolizes permanence and respect. Unlike flowers, which may wither, stones endure, representing the eternal memory of the departed.

Visitors are encouraged to reflect quietly, pray, or recite Psalms during their visit. Such practices honor the deceased while allowing mourners to process grief in a meaningful way. Maintaining silence and reverence ensures the cemetery remains a space of spiritual reflection.

Additional Customs and Considerations

Jewish cemetery etiquette also includes other thoughtful practices. For example, children are often taught from an early age to show respect in sacred spaces. Families may explain the importance of calm behavior, modest attire, and careful movement around graves. Education in proper conduct helps maintain respect for the traditions of Judaism across generations.

Another consideration is the use of mobile phones. In accordance with the principles of kalut rosh and lo’eg larash, it is considered inappropriate to speak on the phone, play music, or engage in any electronic distractions while within a cemetery. Visitors should keep the space serene and free from disruptions.

Photographs may be taken with discretion, but it is generally considered respectful to avoid excessive posing or staging. Capturing memories should never interfere with the sanctity of the environment or the experience of other visitors.

Conclusion

At Fox Monuments, we take pride in crafting monuments that honor the lives of Long Islanders. Judaism is rich with culture and history, and understanding cemetery etiquette ensures that visitors show proper respect for the deceased and their families. By following these customs, individuals contribute to a sacred and reflective atmosphere within the cemetery.

Fox Monuments has served Long Island’s Jewish community for years. We strive to help ease the stress and confusion that comes with the loss of a loved one. Our mission is to honor your loved one with a beautiful Jewish monument while respecting the traditions and cultural heritage of Judaism. In addition, we aim to honor the rich history of Jewish customs and beliefs through every monument we create.

By observing these practices, visitors can ensure that the cemetery remains a place of dignity, reverence, and lasting remembrance.

Located in West Babylon, New York, New Montefiore Cemetery is one of the largest and most historic Jewish cemeteries in the United States. Established in 1928, this 250-acre cemetery serves as a final resting place for thousands of individuals. Moreover, the cemetery reflects the rich cultural and religious heritage of Long Island’s Jewish community.

History of New Montefiore Cemetery

The Montefiore Cemetery Corporation had been maintaining Montefiore Cemetery in Springfield Gardens, Queens, since 1908. In 1928, the corporation purchased 250 acres from Pinelawn Cemetery for $375,000 to establish New Montefiore Cemetery. Burials began shortly after the land acquisition, and the cemetery quickly became a cornerstone of Jewish life on Long Island.

New Montefiore Cemetery is part of a well-known group of adjacent cemeteries along Wellwood Avenue, often referred to as “cemetery row.” This area includes the Long Island National Cemetery, Pinelawn Memorial Park, Saint Charles Cemetery, Beth Moses Cemetery, Wellwood Cemetery, New Montefiore, and Mount Ararat Cemetery. Collectively, these cemeteries represent a vital historical and cultural corridor for the region.

The cemetery’s organization reflects Jewish tradition, with sections often associated with synagogues, fraternal organizations, and specific communities. The Shomrim Society, the fraternal society of Jewish officers in the New York City Police Department, maintains a dedicated burial plot in New Montefiore, highlighting the cemetery’s ongoing connection to Jewish civic and religious life.

Notable Burials at New Montefiore Cemetery

New Montefiore Cemetery is the resting place for numerous influential figures who contributed to politics, arts, entertainment, sports, and the Jewish community. Below are some of the most notable burials:

Herb Abrams (1955–1996)

Herb Abrams, founder of the Universal Wrestling Federation (UWF), made a lasting impact on professional wrestling. Though the UWF operated for only a few years in the 1990s, Abrams’ promotion brought new ideas to wrestling and influenced future organizations in the industry.

Skippy Adelman (1924–2004)

Skippy Adelman, born Julius Adelman, was a celebrated photographer and executive in film production and advertising agencies. His innovative photography captured cultural moments of mid-20th century America and continues to be recognized in art circles.

Abe Beame (1906–2001)

Abraham David Beame, New York City’s 104th mayor, led the city during the fiscal crisis of the 1970s. Beame’s pragmatic leadership and efforts to stabilize city finances left a lasting mark on New York’s governance and urban history.

Benny Bell (1906–1999)

Benjamin Samberg, professionally known as Benny Bell, was a singer and songwriter whose humorous and often risqué songs became cultural touchstones in mid-century America. Bell’s unique style continues to be appreciated by music historians and enthusiasts alike.

Ruby Goldstein (1907–1984)

Ruby Goldstein, a professional boxer and referee, earned recognition for his fairness and sportsmanship. He officiated important matches and contributed to the legitimacy and professionalism of boxing during his era.

Aaron Goodelman (1890–1978)

Aaron Goodelman was a sculptor celebrated for his artistic contributions in galleries and exhibitions. His works remain a testament to Jewish creativity and cultural expression.

Sid Gordon (1917–1975)

Sid Gordon was a Major League Baseball player remembered for his athletic skill and contributions to the sport. Fans and historians continue to honor his achievements on the baseball diamond.

Morton Gould (1913–1996)

Morton Gould was a composer, conductor, arranger, and pianist with a career spanning classical, jazz, and Broadway music. Gould’s versatility and creativity earned him acclaim as one of America’s foremost musicians of the 20th century.

Laurel Griggs (2006–2019)

Laurel Griggs was a child actress who performed on Broadway, including in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.” Her promising career was tragically cut short at age 13, yet her talent remains celebrated by the theater community.

Ze’ev Jabotinsky (1880–1940)

Ze’ev Jabotinsky was a Zionist leader, author, poet, orator, and soldier. He played a pivotal role in advocating for a Jewish homeland. Jabotinsky was reinterred in Mount Herzl Cemetery in Jerusalem in 1964, but his early burial at New Montefiore reflects the cemetery’s historical significance.

Alexa Kenin (1962–1985)

Alexa Kenin was an American actress known for her supporting roles in films such as “Little Darlings,” “Honkytonk Man,” and the posthumously released “Pretty in Pink.” Kenin’s talent made a lasting impact despite her short life.

Oscar Lewis (1914–1970)

Oscar Lewis, an anthropologist and author, conducted pioneering studies on urban poverty. His work continues to influence social sciences, highlighting the intersections of culture, poverty, and society.

Jacob Milch (1866–1945)

Jacob Milch, a writer, candy manufacturer, and socialist, made contributions to literature, industry, and social movements. His life illustrates the diverse talents and influence of Jewish individuals on American society.

Moissaye Joseph Olgin (1878–1939)

Olgin was a writer, journalist, and Communist active in early 20th-century Jewish labor movements. His advocacy for workers’ rights and social justice shaped political discourse in his era.

Lou Pearlman (1954–2016)

Lou Pearlman, a record producer, managed boy bands like NSYNC and the Backstreet Boys. Pearlman’s influence on pop music in the 1990s and early 2000s reshaped the entertainment industry.

Mae Questel (1908–1998)

Mae Questel was an actress and voice artist known for iconic characters Betty Boop and Olive Oyl. Her legacy in animation and entertainment remains unparalleled.

Tommy Ramone (1949–2014)

Tommy Ramone, born Thomas Erdelyi, was the original drummer for the punk rock band, the Ramones. His innovative drumming contributed to the creation and rise of punk music globally.

Emily Remler (1957–1990)

Emily Remler, a jazz guitarist, was known for her virtuosity and contributions to jazz. Her early passing at age 32 was a profound loss to the music community.

Seymour R. Thaler (1919–1976)

Seymour Thaler was a lawyer, New York State Senator, and controversial figure. His life and career reflect the complex interplay of public service, law, and personal legacy.

Nahum Tschacbasov (1899–1984)

Nahum Tschacbasov was a painter, educator, and poet whose works were deeply influenced by Jewish culture and heritage. His contributions continue to inspire students, collectors, and art enthusiasts.

Jewish Burial Traditions and New Montefiore Cemetery

New Montefiore Cemetery preserves Jewish burial traditions, including:

• Headstones: Single and double Jewish headstones honor individual and family legacies.
• Footstones: Smaller stones placed at the foot of the grave, complementing the main headstone.
• Inscriptions and Lettering: Customized to include names, dates, and personal messages.
• Custom Etchings: Symbols of Jewish faith such as Stars of David, menorahs, and other meaningful designs.
• Mausoleums: Family or individual mausoleums provide elegant above-ground resting places.
• Unveiling Ceremonies: Ceremonial gatherings marking the completion of headstones, honoring tradition.
• Monument Cleaning and Repair: Ensuring the longevity and integrity of memorials and headstones.

Fox Memorials: Preserving Legacies on Long Island

Located near New Montefiore Cemetery, Fox Memorials provides comprehensive Jewish monument services. Families rely on Fox Memorials to honor their loved ones with expertly crafted headstones, memorial benches, mausoleums, and custom etchings. Additionally, Fox includes coverings for unveiling ceremonies as well as monument maintenance. This ensures that legacies are preserved with dignity for generations.

Visiting New Montefiore Cemetery

Visitors to New Montefiore Cemetery can explore its serene grounds, learn about notable burials, and reflect on the history of the Jewish community on Long Island. Additionally, the cemetery is a valuable resource for genealogy research. Families can trace their heritage and connect with past generations. Those planning visits can contact Fox Memorials for guidance on headstone maintenance or monument care.

Conclusion

New Montefiore Cemetery is a historic and culturally significant site that reflects the heritage and contributions of the Jewish community on Long Island. From notable burials of political leaders, musicians, and artists to the preservation of Jewish burial traditions, the cemetery plays a vital role in honoring legacies. With the professional services provided by Fox Memorials, families can commemorate their loved ones through beautifully crafted monuments, headstones, and memorials that endure for generations.

Nestled in the heart of West Babylon, New York, Wellwood Cemetery celebrates the rich tapestry of Jewish heritage on Long Island. Originally established as an annex to Beth David Cemetery in Elmont, Wellwood has become a prominent resting place for many notable individuals.

First, A Brief History of Wellwood Cemetery

Wellwood Cemetery was founded to accommodate the growing Jewish population in the New York metropolitan area during the early 20th century. As the Jewish community expanded on Long Island, families required a cemetery that respected Jewish customs and provided a place for lasting remembrance. Wellwood was established as an extension of the historic Beth David Cemetery in Elmont, New York, offering additional space and specialized sections.

Today, Wellwood Cemetery includes numerous sections managed by individual synagogues, landsmanshaftn (heritage societies), and community groups. These sections are often marked by ornate stone arches or pairs of stone columns, reflecting the distinct heritage of each group. Many sections also include Holocaust memorials dedicated to victims from ancestral towns in Europe, such as Baranovichi (Belarus), Ioannina (Greece), Pilica (Poland), Sokołów Podlaski (Poland), and Burshtyn (Ukraine). These memorials honor the memory of those lost while educating future generations about the tragedies endured by Jewish communities abroad.

The cemetery has served as the final resting place for countless families, providing a sacred space for prayer, reflection, and remembrance. Its design combines serene natural landscaping with traditional Jewish symbolism, offering visitors a peaceful environment to honor their loved ones.

Notable Burials at Wellwood Cemetery

Wellwood Cemetery is home to many individuals whose contributions have left a lasting mark on American society. From politics and law to arts, literature, and medicine, the lives of these notable figures reflect the diverse impact of the Jewish community.

1. Maury Allen (1932–2010)

Maury Allen was a celebrated sportswriter, actor, and columnist. With decades of experience in sports journalism, he provided insightful commentary and captivating stories that informed and entertained readers. His dedication to chronicling the sports world earned him recognition as one of the most trusted voices in the industry. Allen’s burial at Wellwood Cemetery reflects his lifelong ties to the Jewish community on Long Island.

2. Jules Bass (1935–2022)

Jules Bass co-founded Rankin/Bass Productions, the studio behind some of the most beloved television specials of all time, including Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Frosty the Snowman. Beyond producing, he served as a director, lyricist, and author, leaving a lasting mark on American entertainment. Bass’s burial at Wellwood Cemetery ensures that his memory remains close to the community he loved.

3. Shulamith Firestone (1945–2012)

Shulamith Firestone was a radical feminist, author, and artist, best known for her groundbreaking work The Dialectic of Sex. Firestone challenged societal norms and advocated for gender equality, inspiring generations of activists and scholars. Her burial at Wellwood Cemetery underscores the community’s recognition of her influence and the importance of honoring diverse contributions.

4. Craig Gilbert (1919–2017)

Craig Gilbert was a film writer, producer, and director whose career included work on the television series All in the Family. The series revolutionized American television with its bold exploration of social issues and complex characters. Gilbert’s commitment to storytelling made a lasting impact on media and culture.

5. Danny Leiner (1964–2018)

Danny Leiner directed iconic cult films such as Dude, Where’s My Car? and Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. Known for his comedic timing and creative vision, Leiner’s films continue to entertain and influence new generations of filmmakers and audiences alike.

6. Lucy Ozarin (1916–2018)

Lucy Ozarin was one of the first women psychiatrists commissioned in the U.S. Navy and one of seven women Navy psychiatrists who served during World War II. Her trailblazing work in military psychiatry and mental health paved the way for future female physicians, demonstrating courage, skill, and commitment.

7. Leo F. Rayfiel (1888–1978)

Leo F. Rayfiel served as a United States House Representative and later as a U.S. District Court judge. Appointed by President Harry S. Truman, he presided over cases that shaped the legal landscape of New York and the nation. Rayfiel’s dedication to justice and public service makes his resting place at Wellwood Cemetery historically significant. Learn more.

8. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg (1915–1953, 1918–1953)

Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were American citizens convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage and executed in 1953. Their case remains one of the most debated legal matters of the Cold War era, raising questions about civil liberties and justice. The Rosenbergs’ burial at Wellwood Cemetery preserves their story and reminds visitors of the complex historical events that shaped the 20th century.

9. Murray Seeman (1919–2017)

Murray Seeman was a lawyer, real estate developer, and World War II veteran who served as an officer in the 6th Port Headquarters. His professional and military contributions made a lasting impact on both his local community and the nation.

10. Lester Wolff (1926–2023)

Lester Wolff served as a member of the U.S. House of Representatives from 1965 to 1981. Known for his work on foreign policy and dedication to public service, Wolff’s life exemplifies commitment to community and country. His interment at Wellwood Cemetery connects his legacy to the Long Island Jewish community.

Wellwood Cemetery Sections and Unique Features

Wellwood Cemetery is divided into multiple sections, each reflecting the customs and traditions of the community that maintains it. Many synagogues maintain dedicated areas where families can purchase plots for single or double burials. Landsmanshaftn, or societies formed by immigrants from the same towns in Europe, often erect monuments or arches featuring symbols from their ancestral hometowns. This architectural diversity contributes to the cemetery’s unique character.

One notable section is the Kehillas Belz within the Beth Moses section. This section remains consecrated and continues to be maintained according to the customs of the Belz community, showcasing the ongoing commitment to preserving Jewish traditions and honoring past leaders.

The Significance of Wellwood Cemetery

Wellwood Cemetery offers more than burial space; it reflects the vibrant Jewish community that has flourished on Long Island. Each section, with its own history and heritage, tells the story of the Jewish diaspora and the community’s enduring spirit.

Genealogy enthusiasts and families tracing their Jewish roots can use Wellwood’s interment search tool to find information about specific graves and learn more about their ancestors. Search graves in Wellwood Cemetery.

Planning a Jewish Headstone or Memorial at Wellwood Cemetery

For families seeking to honor their loved ones at Wellwood Cemetery, Fox Memorials offers a wide range of services. From single and double Jewish headstones to footstones, memorial benches, mausoleums, and custom etchings, Fox Memorials provides personalized guidance to ensure each tribute reflects the life and values of the deceased.

Single and Double Jewish Headstones

Single and double headstones allow families to commemorate one or two loved ones respectfully. Each headstone can be customized with inscriptions, religious symbols, and personal messages to create a lasting tribute.

Jewish Footstones

Footstones complement primary headstones by marking the foot of the grave, often inscribed with the name, dates, or a meaningful message. They are an essential part of Jewish burial tradition and provide a complete, respectful memorial.

Custom Etchings and Inscriptions

Fox Memorials specializes in custom etchings with Jewish symbols and new lettering. Whether you want a Star of David, menorah, or personalized design, the skilled artisans create beautiful and enduring tributes that honor Jewish heritage.

Memorial Benches and Mausoleums

Memorial benches provide a peaceful spot for reflection within the cemetery grounds, while mausoleums offer above-ground interment with elegance and dignity. Fox Memorials assists families in choosing and designing these memorial structures.

Unveiling Ceremonies

An unveiling ceremony is a meaningful tradition where the headstone is formally revealed to family and friends. Fox Memorials coordinates and guides families through this sacred process, ensuring the event respects Jewish customs.

Monument Cleaning and Repair

Maintaining the appearance and integrity of headstones and monuments is vital for long-term preservation. Fox Memorials provides professional cleaning and repair services to restore the beauty and dignity of each memorial at Wellwood Cemetery.

Fox Memorials: Serving the Wellwood Cemetery Community

Located just a short distance from Wellwood Cemetery, Fox Memorials serves families in West Babylon and surrounding areas. We specialize in Jewish headstones, footstones, custom etchings with Jewish symbols, memorial benches, mausoleums, and monument cleaning and repair. Our team helps families honor the memory of loved ones with dignity and respect.

Whether planning an unveiling ceremony or restoring an existing monument, Fox Memorials works closely with families to create meaningful tributes that celebrate the unique lives of those they commemorate.

Plan Your Visit to Wellwood Cemetery

Wellwood Cemetery opens Sunday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Visitors can explore the serene grounds, reflect on the lives of those interred, and appreciate the rich history of the Jewish community on Long Island. Visit the cemetery website.

Conclusion

Wellwood Cemetery stands as a lasting tribute to the Jewish community’s history, resilience, and contributions. The notable individuals buried here left a mark on fields ranging from journalism and entertainment to politics and medicine. Visiting Wellwood offers a chance to reflect on their legacies and the enduring spirit of the Jewish community they represent.

The Jewish faith is rich with ancient practices, customs, and traditions. There are numerous Jewish rites surrounding each of life’s milestones, from births to weddings to deaths. Each distinctive tradition is a quintessential means of observing the event’s importance while honoring one of the world’s foremost faiths.

In Judaism, there is one specific custom regarding death that has inspired generations of curiosity and interpretation. Before leaving gravesites, mourners place a small stone on the monument. Of course, this is an indication that someone has visited the grave. This burial tradition is ancient, with origins that are somewhat unclear. Over centuries, numerous interpretations have emerged, each offering insight into why this practice holds meaning for Jewish communities worldwide.

Fox Monuments has been serving Long Island’s Jewish community for over 65 years. We understand the profound impact of loss and recognize the importance of maintaining traditions during these difficult times. Below, we explore several commonly cited explanations for this enduring mourning ritual, including historical, spiritual, and emotional interpretations.

5 Common Explanations of Placing a Stone on a Headstone

1. A Warning to Kohanim (Jewish Priests)

During ancient times in Jerusalem, Jewish priests, known as Kohanim, were prohibited from coming within four feet of a corpse. Exposure to a dead body was believed to render them ritually impure. To prevent accidental contact, visitors began placing stones atop graves as a clear signal to these priests to maintain their distance.

This practical measure eventually became ceremonial. The placement of stones on graves can be seen as a historical practice that may have influenced the modern tradition, connecting contemporary mourners with the religious observances of their ancestors.

2. Stones Last Longer Than Flowers

Many consider stones to symbolize the enduring presence of departed loved ones in our lives. Unlike flowers, which wither and decay quickly, stones are permanent. This permanence represents the lasting memory and legacy of the deceased.

In addition, many Jewish families consider the presence of flowers at a funeral distasteful. By using stones instead, mourners honor their loved ones in a way that can endure indefinitely, symbolizing eternal respect and remembrance. Placing a stone can also support those navigating the challenging stages of mourning, providing a tangible connection to the deceased and a sense of ongoing presence in their lives.

3. Notes Left to Loved Ones

Historically, Jews have placed handwritten notes into Jerusalem’s Western Wall as prayers or messages. When a note needed extra weight to stay in place, it was often secured with a stone at the base of the wall. Over time, this practice influenced Jewish burial customs.

As part of Jewish funeral etiquette, mourners began placing notes on graves and weighing them down with stones. While handwritten notes are less common today, the symbolic act of placing a stone endures as a gesture of communication, a way to express thoughts and feelings toward the deceased.

4. Anchoring the Soul in This World

The Talmud teaches that a person’s soul remains connected to their grave. Placing a stone may have originated as a way to anchor the soul, offering comfort to the living by ensuring that the spirit remains close. This practice underscores the intimate relationship between the living and the dead in Jewish thought.

Another interpretation suggests that the stone serves as protection. Historically, stones were thought to ward off evil spirits or demons that might disturb the deceased, keeping the cemetery a safe, sacred space. In this sense, placing stones acts as both a spiritual safeguard and a loving tribute to the departed, reflecting a concern for their well-being beyond the physical world.

5. Connection and Memory

For mourners, seeing stones on a loved one’s headstone is often comforting. These small markers indicate that others have visited, remembered, and honored the deceased. The act reinforces communal bonds and shows respect across generations.

The Hebrew word for pebble also carries the meaning of “bond.” By placing a stone on a headstone, visitors symbolically create a connection between themselves, the deceased, and the broader community. Some families or individuals select specific stones with personal significance, perhaps from meaningful locations, adding another layer of intent and memory to this enduring ritual.

And Two More Reasons…

6. Historical and Cultural Context

While the symbolic reasons above are widely cited, the practice of placing stones on graves also reflects the broader Jewish worldview. Judaism emphasizes remembrance, continuity, and honoring ancestors. By leaving a physical token, even as simple as a stone, mourners actively participate in maintaining the memory and dignity of those who came before them.

In many communities, this practice is also educational. Children accompanying parents to a cemetery learn about reverence, history, and familial legacy. The simple act of placing a stone becomes a lesson in respect, spirituality, and cultural identity.

7. Personal Rituals and Modern Practice

In contemporary Jewish life, the placement of stones remains a deeply personal gesture. Families may integrate it into larger mourning rituals or use it as a private act of reflection. Some may choose unique stones for each visit, symbolizing milestones or personal thoughts. Others may adopt a collective approach, encouraging community members to participate, reinforcing a sense of unity and shared remembrance.

This flexibility highlights the adaptability of Jewish customs, blending ancient traditions with modern sensibilities. Whether in a small neighborhood cemetery or a large communal burial ground, placing stones is an act that transcends time, connecting past, present, and future generations.

Conclusion

Throughout Jewish mourning customs, the tradition of placing stones on graves is among the most enigmatic and meaningful. While its exact origin is difficult to pinpoint, the practice endures because it resonates on multiple levels—historical, spiritual, and emotional.

Ultimately, placing a stone on the monument you visit is a timeless way to honor, remember, and express love for the departed. Each family or individual may choose the interpretation or practice that holds the most personal significance, keeping the tradition alive for generations to come.

Guide to Hebrew Inscriptions on Jewish Headstones

Making arrangements after a loved one passes away is an emotional and stressful process. Beyond notifying friends and family, coordinating with the rabbi about memorial services, and hosting shiva, families must also select a Jewish headstone. At Fox Monuments, we are committed to making this process as smooth and stress-free as possible. Our experienced team provides guidance, support, and professional advice every step of the way to ensure that your loved one’s memorial is meaningful and lasting.

Once you have chosen a Jewish headstone company, the next critical step is selecting the headstone inscription. Many consider the inscription the heart and soul of the monument. It serves as a permanent tribute to the life, faith, and legacy of the departed. While most Jewish headstones feature English text, many also include Hebrew inscriptions that convey faith, values, and tradition. These inscriptions honor your loved one while reflecting Jewish heritage and culture.

In this guide, we will explore the five most common Hebrew inscriptions for Jewish monuments, as well as important considerations when planning your Jewish headstone.

1. Here Lies: פּ״נ

One of the most recognized Hebrew phrases on Jewish headstones is פּ״נ, which stands for “Po Nikbar” or “Po Nitman,” meaning “Here Lies.” This phrase is typically positioned at the top of the monument and serves as the natural introduction to the memorial.

While this inscription is traditional in many Jewish communities, not all headstones include it. Some monuments may instead feature symbolic imagery, such as a menorah, Star of David, or other Jewish symbols. At Fox Monuments, we help families decide whether this traditional phrasing is right for their loved one’s headstone and can provide custom designs that incorporate meaningful symbols alongside the inscription, including a menorah or Jewish star.

2. The Hebrew Name

Another common inscription on Jewish headstones is the Hebrew name. For individuals with a strong commitment to Jewish faith and tradition, the Hebrew name is just as important—sometimes even more so—than the English name. In some cases, the Hebrew name may be the primary identifier on the monument.

The Hebrew name often follows the phrase “Here Lies…” on the headstone. Families may choose the Hebrew name based on parental wishes, ancestral lineage, or personal significance. At Fox Monuments, we can assist in ensuring the Hebrew name is accurately inscribed, honoring your loved one’s faith and heritage with precision and care.

3. Hebrew Names of Parents

In Jewish tradition, family lineage is highly valued. Many families choose to include the Hebrew names of the deceased’s parents on the monument. This practice connects the individual to their ancestors and maintains the tradition of strong family ties.

Typically, inscriptions include the words בן (son of) or בת (daughter of), followed by the Hebrew name of the father—and sometimes the mother. While father’s names are traditional, we can work with families to incorporate both parents or other notable relatives.

Because Hebrew names may be difficult to locate, many families prefer to pre-plan their Jewish monument to ensure accuracy and respect for tradition. At Fox Monuments, we provide guidance to help families navigate this process and select inscriptions that reflect the family’s values and heritage.

4. Date of Death in Hebrew Calendar

Jewish headstones often include the deceased’s birth and death dates according to the Hebrew calendar. Unlike the western calendar, the Hebrew calendar begins 3,760 years before the common era, making it unique in structure and calculation.

For example, the year 2018 corresponds to 5779 in the Hebrew calendar. Some families simplify the year by omitting the 5,000, recording it as 779 instead. Including the Hebrew date is optional, but it provides a meaningful cultural connection and allows for observance of yahrzeits (annual memorials) according to Jewish tradition.

At Fox Monuments, we can assist families in converting dates to the Hebrew calendar and inscribing them accurately on the headstone, ensuring your loved one’s memorial aligns with both religious tradition and family preferences.

5. Jewish Epitaph: ת נ צ ב ה

A final common Hebrew inscription is ת נ צ ב ה, an abbreviation of the phrase “May his soul be bound up in the bond of eternal life.” This epitaph is usually placed at the bottom of the headstone and serves as a blessing for the departed soul.

Not all Jewish headstones, single or double monument, or otherwise, use this specific epitaph; some families choose other scripture-based phrases or personalized messages that reflect the life and character of the deceased. Fox Monuments provides guidance on traditional and custom epitaphs, helping families select wording that is both meaningful and lasting.

Additional Considerations for Your Jewish Monument

Selecting a Jewish headstone involves more than choosing inscriptions. Families must also consider the type of monument, materials, and design features that best honor their loved one. Some common services offered by Fox Monuments include:

• Single and Double Headstones: Personalized designs for individual or family plots.
• Custom Etchings: Incorporation of symbols, images, or personal motifs.
• Memorial Benches and Mausoleums: Alternative ways to commemorate loved ones.
• New Inscriptions and Lettering: Updating older monuments with refreshed text or restored Hebrew inscriptions.
• Monument Cleaning and Repair: Maintaining the beauty and dignity of your family’s memorial over time.

We take pride in guiding Long Island’s Jewish community through the entire process, from selection to installation, ensuring that every detail reflects both faith and memory.

Pre-Planning a Jewish Headstone

Pre-planning allows families to make thoughtful decisions without the pressure of grief. By planning ahead, you can:

• Verify accurate Hebrew names for the deceased and ancestors.
• Decide on inscriptions, symbols, and materials.
• Avoid delays in monument creation and installation.
• Ensure the memorial aligns with both family tradition and religious practices.

At Fox Monuments, our team works closely with families to create a memorial that honors their loved ones while adhering to Jewish traditions. Our pre-planning services provide peace of mind and ensure every monument is a lasting tribute.

Why Choose Fox Monuments for Your Jewish Headstone

With decades of experience serving Long Island’s Jewish community, Fox Monuments is dedicated to creating memorials that are both respectful and meaningful. Our services combine craftsmanship, attention to detail, and compassion for every family.

From single Jewish headstones to double monuments, mausoleums, and memorial benches, we provide comprehensive solutions tailored to your needs. Our team assists with:

• Selecting the appropriate Hebrew inscriptions.
• Translating names and dates accurately.
• Customizing designs with symbols and etchings.
• Providing guidance on pre-planning and installation.

We understand the emotional weight of this process and aim to make it as smooth as possible, providing support every step of the way.

Conclusion

Hebrew inscriptions on Jewish headstones hold deep significance, honoring faith, family, and legacy. From פּ״נ at the top to ת נ צ ב ה at the bottom, these inscriptions reflect centuries of tradition while celebrating the individuality of your loved one.

At Fox Monuments, we provide the guidance and craftsmanship necessary to create memorials that will stand the test of time. Whether you are selecting a headstone, planning an inscription, or pre-planning for the future, our team is here to ensure that your loved one’s memory is honored with dignity, care, and respect.

For families on Long Island seeking Jewish monuments and memorials, Fox Monuments is the trusted choice for compassionate, professional service and beautifully crafted memorials. Not only will it honor your faith, it will be a loving, enduring tribute to your loved one and provide a place to visit for years to come.

Followers of the Jewish faith place significant sentimental value on both human life and, in particular: family. When a family member passes away, a swift, decisive reaction is critical. Of course, it’s equally as essential to pre-plan or commission a Jewish monument quickly. However, often the family won’t uncover the monument until the Yahrzeit (Unveiling Ceremony). One key Jewish burial tradition is burying the body quickly, and beginning the grieving process.

The tradition of guarding the body is synonymous with this principle. In this post, we’ll explore this ancient tradition, its origins and how mourners honor it in modern times.

What is Shemira?

Shemira translates directly to “watching” or “guarding.” Essentially, it’s the traditional Jewish practice of observing and protecting the deceased’s body and one of the first mourning stages. Ultimately, this serves a dual purpose. First, it helps family members to feel at ease about the conditions of their relatives. In addition, it serves as a way to comfort the spirit of the deceased. Ultimately, the goal of Shemira is to ensure that the body remains undisturbed. With few exceptions, Orthodox Jews are the only people who continue to observe this tradition these days.

In the most traditional circles, someone must guard the body until burial. This is the same guiding principle which governs the practice of immediate burials. The longer the body remains outside of a burial ground, the more potential there is for illicit tampering. Of course, this is the primary reason that Jewish law enforces the policy of informing family members about death promptly; and laying the body to rest with the Jewish monument.

What is the Origin of Shemira?

Shemira is an ancient practice, and dates back at least two-thousand years. Originally, this practice was a show of solemn respect for the deceased. Before progressing to thee next life, the Jewish faith dictates that the soul temporarily remains around the body. But, there were several additional goals of this practice, as well.

During the earliest days of Shemira, this was a method of repelling critters and thieves. In modern times, we’re a lot less likely to deal with people attempting to tamper with the body or animals infiltrating the facility. However, the sentiment behind this practice remains just as essential to honoring mourners’ faith as ever.

Shomer: Guardian or Watcher

The Hebrew word shomer is not specific to death, either. This word translates to “watch,” “guard,” or “preserve.” It’s entirely possibly to apply this word towards other contexts, as well.

For example, people who follow Kosher dietary standards are called shomer kashrut. People who are shomer Shabbat agree to observe the strict rules of the Sabbath. Within this religious context, shomer means “one who guards the dead.”

Who Can be a Shomer?

Because the family’s in a state of high mourning, the Jewish faith calls for others to honor these guard duties.

Most shomers are from either the congregation or a chevra kadisha. A chevra kadisha is an organization specifically ordained to prepare and comfort bodies of the deceased. With this practice in place, someone who was significantly close to the deceased can stand guard over them following their passing.

Throughout the vigilance period, shomers must stand guard over the body of the deceased. This means that they must remain awake throughout the night. Shomers cannot eat, drink or indulge in other pleasures that are impossible for the deceased to enjoy. Often, the shomer recites psalms or other important readings.

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