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The Jewish faith is rich with history, tradition and specific customs. Every religion has their own, singular viewpoints on the topics of death, grieving and memorializing those who pass away. And, Judaism is no exception. As an ancient, prominent world religion, Judaism’s end-of-life and mourning practices have been passed on through countless generations. From placing stones to Shiva, millions recognize these practices all over the world.

At Fox Monuments, we’ve been serving Long Island’s Jewish community for decades. Therefore, we’ve been providing monuments which honor the lives of Jewish people while paying equal tribute to their lifelong faith. Without a doubt, one of the most noble Jewish traditions in the aftermath of one’s passing is Tzedakah, or “righteous giving.” In this post, we’ll explore Tzedakah, what it entails and how the Jewish people apply this tradition to make something good out of something painful.

Tzedakah: Righteous Giving

Jewish tradition views charity as the greatest force in the universe, stronger than death itself. Therefore, the act of giving selflessly is a means of almost counteracting someone’s death. Contributing time, money or goods to anyone in need keeps them alive, in a sense.

By contributing to charities or organizations they cared deeply for in life, they’re making their memory a tangible force in the world. In fact, many Jews view Tzedakah as a way to become the voice of the deceased on earth.

Donating Money

Of course, countless Jewish mourners make monetary donations to causes and organizations that reflect the values and beliefs of whoever they lost. Obvi­ously, someone who was a volunteer or contributor to the United Jewish Appeal or the American Cancer Society, would be honored with donations to these causes.

On the other hand, others may choose to honor a passionate, lifelong reader by supporting the synagogue library, the local public library or literacy programs. Ultimately, mourners select their donations by reflecting on the morals and ideals of those they lost.

Giving More Than Money

Obviously, when it comes to giving, Tzedakah doesn’t limit mourners to monetary donations only. In fact, many choose to honor whoever they lost by donating their time and effort to support charitable causes or community service programs. However, Tzedakah can also include much smaller gestures of kindness.

To honor someone you lost, you can volunteer for a few days or work in a soup kitchen. But also, you can do something as simple as cooking a meal for an elderly neighbor or walking their dog. Any gesture of kindness counts when it comes to Tzedakah. Ultimately, the most important thing is to give selflessly to honor whoever you lost. This is a means of preserving their memory on earth through a noble and caring act.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

Of course, no charitable gesture is ever wasted. Tzedakah gives Jewish mourners an opportunity to create something special, kind and meaningful out of something tragic. In addition, it encourages us to honor our loved ones by doing something beneficial for those in need.

At Fox Monuments, we’ll continue to serve Long Island’s Jewish community by crafting gorgeous, enduring custom headstones that honor the Jewish faith. We’ll also continue to help uphold any and all Jewish traditions concerning funerals and mourning, from the Unveiling Ceremony to Tzedakah and more.

At Fox Monuments, we have been working with Long Island’s Jewish community for decades. Our mission is to help families in the memorial planning process by providing a compassionate service and memorials that honor the Jewish faith. During this tragic time, we know how difficult it can be to feel confident in your decisions or to balance all of your obligations. Therefore, we work everyday to earn the trust and gratitude of the Jewish community, and assure them that we care.  

When searching for a Jewish headstone company, it’s important to consider more than the price or location. Your loved ones deserve a beautiful, fitting monument that will honor your faith and pay tribute to your loved one. At Fox Monuments, we provide monuments in the simplest and most painless way possible. 

Understanding Regulations and Communicating With Cemeteries

At the beginning of the process, many don’t know about the numerous hyper-specific regulations that cemeteries enforce. When dealing with a cemetery, it can be difficult to understand the regulations that they place on Jewish headstones. In order for the headstone to rest in a cemetery plot, it must fit certain specifications. Because immediate burial is a Jewish tradition, having this dialogue early may be impossible. 

When dealing with a professional Jewish headstone company, you will not be inhibited by any of these restrictions. Instead, you can simply relay your wishes to us, and we’ll negotiate with the cemetery on your behalf. We consistently ensure that families can observe their funeral ceremony and burial customs with no interference from the cemetery. 

Headstone Cleaning Services

After a long time, the flawless, dazzling elegance of headstones begins to fade. Grass clippings, inclement weather and dirt can all negatively impact a monument. As a result, its appearance suffers severely. And, when people apply cleaners meant for the household, it only exacerbates the problem.

Regular monument cleaning is the best way to keep this monument clean, legible and radiant. Our monument cleaners can enhance your Jewish headstone by providing a thorough cleaning and restoring its original beauty. 

Contact Us Today

At Fox Monuments, we maintain a commitment to helping all families through this difficult time. Additionally, we’ll work on your behalf to make any arrangements we can and spare you the stress of ensuring your monument meets certain specifications. Ultimately, our respect and adulation for the Jewish faith compels us to provide incomparable services that no Long Island companies can compete with. 

Originally posted on September 5, 2019, this post has been edited for relevancy and accuracy.

As a leading Long Island provider of Jewish monuments, Fox Monuments is a staff of experts in the history and traditions of celebrating Jewish heritage. The Jewish faith is rich with history, symbols and traditions, and we pride ourselves on accommodating the needs and faith of our clients.

The mourning stages are often a confusing and stressful time. Losing a loved one is never easy. There are many practices within the Jewish faith that can help families heal and move forward. For example; the Meal of Consolation or Shiva.

Not all practices are for the aftermath of a loved one’s death. There are also traditions that are meant for the final years of one’s life. These traditions can often ease the transition between life and death.

In this post, we’ll explore the ancient tradition of the Chevra Kadisha, or “holy society.” This is an organization of men and women who attend to the bodies of deceased Jews.

 

 

The Merits of Chevra Kadisha?

Within the Jewish faith, participating in a Chevra Kadisha is widely perceived as a noble and respectable act. Furthermore, it is a service that is devoid of any greed or ulterior motive. Those present receive no monetary gain or reward of any kind. Therefore, holy texts praise its selflessness and nobility.

Within holy Hebrew text, the Chevra Kadisha goes by “chesed shel emet,” which translates to “a good deal of truth.”

Most burial societies (especially modern ones) take additional steps to honor not only the deceased, but also their grieving loved ones. The Chevra Kadisha will assist the family by providing support during the Shiva, preparing meals, and arranging prayer services.

 

Conclusion

If you’re interested in the services of a Chevra Kadisha, consult your rabbi or synagogue for further information. At Fox Monuments, we understand the importance of providing stability, support and faith in times of confusion and disbelief.

Paying tribute to your loved one, whether with Jewish cemetery monuments, a Chevra Kadisha or Shiva, is a critical aspect of mourning and healing. After years of serving the Long Island Jewish community, we are more than happy to guide you through this process, choose an honorable inscription and ease the burden of your loss.

We are always here to help.

At Fox Monuments, crafting memorials that reflect legacies and honor faith is our contribution to Long Island’s Jewish community. Judaism is a faith rich with countless customs and traditions. Of course, there are numerous customs and traditions surrounding death and healing from it. Unfortunately, within the previous year honoring each of these traditions has been difficult. And with so many lives lost from COVID-19, it’s been doubly difficult for so many families.

However, with these restrictions came a certain amount of innovation. Obviously, we couldn’t gather in large numbers or visit many public spaces. Therefore, traditional rituals weren’t an option. As a result, countless families developed their own, personal mourning rituals to honor their loved ones. In this post, we’ll explore a guide to creating new mourning rituals that can provide closure and feel like a respectable tribute to those we’ve lost.

What Is a Ritual?

Obviously, this is the best place to start. Admittedly, this may seem like a pointless question to ask. However, knowing what you should strive towards is a great way to understand what to do. When it comes to saying a final goodbye, you can never put forth too much effort.

Rituals are actions done in significant ways that represent an ideal that’s much more than the act itself. Actions that symbolize ideas, thoughts, beliefs or metaphysical notions are legitimate rituals. Basically, they give a meaning to our actions. Also, they give us the feeling that we’re connected with something greater than ourselves.

Often, we perform rituals in an effort to obtain peace, clarity, meaning or to feel grounded. Sometimes, we perform rituals to connect to family or a specific individual, or culture, society, our ancestors or even ourselves.

Creating Your Own Ritual

We may create rituals for a number of reasons. But in this case, the goal is to create a ritual that allows you to process grief in a constructive, healthy way. Many decide to perform them on a birthday or anniversary significant to someone they’ve lost. On the other hand, some express grief in subtle, quieter rituals every day or week.

Of course, a mourning ritual should, in some way, reflect whoever you lost. Basically, this means you should include a symbol or memento with significance to them. Just like a headstone inscription, this will encourage the notion that you’re honoring them.

If you have any concerns about a ritual potentially violating your faith, consult your rabbi. However, typical mourning rituals have no blasphemous value and are simply a more personal means of saying goodbye to a loved one. In addition, they provide closure during a time when we can’t observe many normal traditions like Shiva.

Examples of Mourning Rituals

• Light a candle in their honor, perhaps on a certain date like Hanukkah. For example, a common ritual is to light candles at dinnertime to signify past meals shared.
• Create a scrapbook and actively work towards filling it with photos and mementos symbolizing their life.
• Recite poetry, important readings or song lyrics.
• Listen to their favorite songs regularly or create a mix of their favorite musicians.
• Watch their favorite movie or TV show.
• Plant a tree or flowers in their memory.
• Make a donation to their favorite charity in their name/memory.
• Create a work of art symbolic of their life.

Ultimately, there are no rules or restrictions when it comes to an effective mourning ritual. Of course, you know precisely what kind of actions will properly honor your loved one. It can be as simple or extravagant as you like, whatever feels most appropriate. Basically, if it feels like a legitimate way to honor them, then it most likely is. Do whatever feels right.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

Without a doubt, the previous year was full of unique challenges and difficult circumstances. As a result, countless families were unable to honor lost loved ones in traditional ways. But with adversity comes innovation, and mourning rituals are an exceptional way to help us heal from the pain of loss.

At Fox Monuments, we’ll continue to support Long Island’s Jewish community throughout any future challenges. In addition, we’ll also keep creating memorials that are beautiful reflections of Jewish lives and legacies.

 

Paying respects to the elderly is one of the key values that Judaism teaches. When people pass away, it’s important for family members and friends to honor their memory and time on this earth appropriately — both when visiting the Jewish monument and on holidays.

The Jewish mourning and burial process is coordinated to help family members grieving a loss overcome this grief in a manner synonymous with their faith. Because of this, the funeral and burial normally take place immediately after death. In this blog post, we’ll discuss standard Jewish funeral etiquette, and how you can best comfort grieving friends or family after burial with the Jewish monument.

How Should You Dress for a Jewish Funeral?

Like other funeral principles, dressing appropriately is a crucial part of showing your respect for the loss. Traditionally, people attending a Jewish funeral wore only black clothing. However, over the years some families have grown more lax with regard to this policy. When attending a Jewish funeral, men should generally wear a suit, or slacks with a button-down shirt. While the clothing doesn’t necessarily need to be black, it should be a darker color.

Wearing a head covering is also a sign of respect. Most temples have yarmulkes (or skull caps) available for mourners who don’t have their own. Women, on the other hand, should also dress in darker colors. Suits are a common choice, as are skirts, blouses, and conservative dresses. The customs for funeral attire can vary depending on the house of worship and mourning family. If you’re curious about what’s appropriate, contact a member of the family or somebody close to them. The same rules apply to the unveiling ceremony.

 

 

General Funeral Conduct Tips

In Judaism, cemetery etiquette is paramount. So, be sure to arrive early, or at the very least, on time. Arriving late can be a distraction for others in attendance. Also, be sure to remain silent and don’t talk during a Jewish funeral.

While you should offer words of condolence, be sure that you’re not speaking out of turn. For example, if someone is reciting a reading or leading those gathered in the Kaddish prayer, then take care to remain silent. The same rules also apply to people who are near the Jewish monument.

 

Show Support During the Shiva

While separate from the funeral service itself, the shiva is another integral part of the Jewish mourning process. Once the deceased individual has been buried, the family proceeds to the Shiva home.

The Shiva is a time for distant family members, friends, and neighbors to pay their respects. Comforting the family and sharing pleasant stories about the deceased can go a long way in helping them overcome grief.

 

Jewish Monuments

Paying attention to these customs can go a long way in having a respectful presence. At Fox Monuments, our team’s committed to creating high-quality memorials that remain an enduring tribute to your loved one for many years to come.

At Fox Monuments, we understand the pain and grief that comes with the loss of a loved one. Our mission is to provide support and guidance during a time that’s usually very stressful and painful for people. We know what a disorienting time this can be. However, we also know the importance of those who consistently support their friends during times of bereavement.

We know that we never forget the people who stand by us during hard times. Often, when we see friends struggling with grief, we want to do everything we can to help them, even if we can’t be with them. However, we may feel unsure of how to help them or feel immobilized by uncertainty. Therefore, we’ve put together a list of the ways you can support a grieving friend. Keep reading for more information.

1. Don’t Try to “Make It Better”

No matter what, when we lose a loved one, it’s painful. It’s difficult, and sometimes, just plain unbearable. Basically, there’s no making it better. A lot of us make the mistake of trying to minimize the loss by producing a “silver lining.”

If you try to “make it better,” it will usually backfire. So saying things like “everything happens for a reason” or “they’re in a better place” will make them feel misunderstood and lonely. It’s okay for you to acknowledge their pain by saying things like “this is terrible.” In fact, it will help them to feel less alone.

2. Be Prepared to Witness Emotions

So many of us clam up or feel instant discomfort at the first sign of emotion. However, during times like this, you must brace yourself to witness it if you want to be supportive. Of course, it’s tough to watch our friends in pain that we can’t simply erase.

But if you’re willing to be a companion to your friends during painful moments, it will be an enormous help. Let them feel their pain when you’re with them, and don’t let yourself freeze up from discomfort.

3. Don’t Take Unpleasant Behavior Personally

Obviously, we know that with grief, comes enormous sadness. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the only thing they’ll feel is sadness. In fact, many psychologists describe grief as a sort of temporary insanity. Therefore, your friend may feel anything from confusion, to anger, to exhaustion or even rage. Severe grief is usually an alternating combination of all of these.

So, if they’re uncharacteristically short or treat you with hostility, don’t take it personally. It’s important that you keep in mind that they’re not themselves right now. Try your hardest not to snap back at them or feel compelled to return their hostility. And remember: grief does not end at the funeral, they may not be themselves for quite some time after leaving the cemetery. Try to be as patient and understanding as possible.

4. Offer to Do Even the Most Ordinary Things

Grief is excruciating. Anyone who has recently suffered the loss of a loved one may struggle with even the most basic, rudimentary chores or errands throughout the stages of mourning. Everyday tasks may simply feel beyond their ability to complete.

Therefore, offer to do specific things, rather than asking “is there anything you need?” It’s very likely that they don’t even know which tasks they’ve been neglecting. So offer to do specific things, like cleaning the house or picking up groceries. If there’s something you see they’ve forgotten, simply do it without asking. Make this a priority for as long as they need it.

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

Ultimately, you can be a tremendous support system by listening and paying attention. At Fox Monuments, we know firsthand the countless ways you can help your friends by supporting them during times of grief and hardship. We’ve served Long Island’s Jewish community for decades, and provided support by crafting gorgeous, enduring monuments that are a lasting tribute to lives and legacies.

 

The COVID-19 pandemic is having an unprecedented impact on our ability to gather, mourn and grieve together. Families are losing loved ones at alarming rates, but are unable to assemble in large groups for Shiva or funerals. This can be doubly painful for anyone already suffering the loss of a loved one. Wakes and funerals have always been a critical means of expressing grief and mourning together. But when we can’t assemble, what do we do?

Usually, when a Jewish individual passes, their family receives a lot of emotional and physical support from friends, family and community. This kind of support is integral to the Jewish faith. However, in the age of COVID-19, how do we conduct funerals or memorials when we must socially distance and can’t gather?

In this post, we’ll discuss three ideas for funerals and memorials when we can’t gather.
 

1. Have a Burial Now & In-Person Event Later

Remember: you don’t have to rush to have a memorial service. Even in the most normal of circumstances, a lot of families say they wish they’d taken more time before having a memorial or funeral service. There’s no reason you need to do the entire event immediately.

Also, you can do something small or virtual now, and then something in person with friends and family later. It can be when we’re able to assemble again, or you could plan it for your loved one’s birthday, a holiday or another significant date.

2. Stream the Service

This suggestion is probably the most obvious. If friends and family can’t be with you, you can deliver the service to them online. Some funeral home or temples already provide this option.

Even if you’re a Zoom or FaceTime expert, arranging this to ensure that everyone at home can see, hear or participate requires a lot of planning and coordination. Therefore, make sure you’ve worked out all the details in advance.

3. Request Photos For a Virtual Slideshow

One of the more enjoyable aspects of a wake, Shiva or funeral is the occasional collection of photos. Since we’re now in an era when most of our photos are already digital, many of these slideshows would be electronic even if in a funeral home, temple or church.

Therefore, you should reach out to friends and family and ask them to provide any photos they may have of your loved one. With these pictures, you can put together a digital slideshow that you can play during the service. If you use the Zoom webinar feature, you can share the screen of the computer playing the slideshow. Then, anyone present during the digital service can see all the photos directly on their screen.
 

Conclusion – Fox Monuments

This may seem an insurmountable time for many, but there are still plenty of ways to adapt to these circumstances and give your loved ones a proper send-off. At Fox Monuments, we’ve provided Long Island’s Jewish community with stunning, one-of-a-kind custom monuments for years. And we’ll continue to do so throughout this pandemic and long afterwards.

In the Jewish tradition, caring for the elderly is of the highest priority. This means total respect, embracing their hard-won wisdom, and seeking knowledge when necessary. When the elderly are approaching the end of life, there are traditions that family members and close friends can participate in to provide a comforting presence and honor their legacies.

In this post, we’ll discuss the ways that Jewish traditions can comfort the elderly before death. Read on to find out more.

 

1. Reciting Healing Prayers

When the possibility of death approaches, your loved one or family member will likely be in distress or low spirits. Therefore, reciting or singing the Mi Sheberakh prayer will help provide both comfort and reinforce a sense of unity.

This traditional Jewish healing prayer is not just a way to encourage the healing process, but also to strengthen their spirits. Anyone can recite this prayer alone, or in the company of loved ones.

If you prefer spontaneous, organic prayers, then speaking directly to God may also help them feel at ease. Asking God to help your loved one feel at peace can be a powerful and cathartic experience.

 

3. Reading Psalms

While everyone tends to have different preferences, reading psalms may remind your loved ones of their values and ethics. Scripture can reinforce religious teachings, and prominent religious figures who may have influenced them. This reminder is especially important during such a difficult time.

Phrases from these psalms will help your loved ones to thank and praise God. In doing so, you can help give them the inspiration they need to persist and remain in good spirits. Many Jewish people have psalms such as this inscribed upon their loved one’s monument as an epitaph.

Specifically, psalm 121 is a fitting choice for anyone who’s suffering. In this psalm, the speaker acknowledges and thanks God for his protection through life. Reciting this (or a similar) psalm to your loved one will help them to find a source of protection in this troubled time. It’s common for these psalms to serve as epitaphs on a loved one’s grave.

Similarly, reciting the viddui prayer will give your loved one an opportunity to renounce his or her sins. Offering the consolation of repentance, as well as the idea that faith and trust, the deathbed-specific viddui prayer can have an important impact in these final days.

 

4. Discuss Funeral Arrangements

While this is a difficult topic to discuss with anyone, funeral arrangements are difficult, costly, and time-consuming to make. If you’ve been tasked with this responsibility, then bringing this up may be natural. However, it’s important to learn whether or not anybody has taken any steps toward making arrangements.

First, you should learn whether or not the individual has purchased a burial plot. These are expensive plots of land, and depending upon family, religious preferences, and military service, their preference might vary. You can then discuss the cleaning of the body, an important step in the Jewish faith. You should also find out if they ordered a Jewish monument. If your loved one would prefer cremation to a traditional burial, this is also important information.

 

5. Purchase a Jewish Monument

Making these choices carefully will help you to create a fitting monument, which will help you to reflect when visiting.

 

Jewish Monuments on Long Island

At Fox Monuments, we’re dedicated to helping families and friends overcome the death of a loved one. Our high-quality headstones are designed specifically for each individual. We’ll work to streamline this process for you, giving you the time you need to take care of other concerns. Most importantly, we’ll help to make a difficult time less stressful and painless for you and your family.

There are so many unprecedented measures currently in place as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. These measures are having a dramatic effect on several families losing loved ones during this very uncertain time. As we’re unable to gather or assemble in large groups, it can be doubly painful for mourners. Common Jewish traditions around the end of life, like Shiva, have been completely disrupted.

Usually, when a Jewish individual passes, their family receives a lot of emotional and physical support from friends, family and community. This kind of support is integral to the Jewish faith. However, in the age of COVID-19, how do we express condolences to those who have suffered a loss?

In this post, we’ll explore how to express condolences safely during the COVID-19 pandemic.

 

1. Find a Digital Way to Engage

Nowadays, physical presence is often not an option when it comes to expressing condolences. Therefore, we must redefine how we support our grieving friends and family. In some cases, families will visit monuments, hold a burial or shiva but restrict the number of visitors. However, most families are not holding gatherings of any kind in order to eliminate the risk of COVID-19.

While you can’t physically be with the mourning family, you can still send support in other ways. Technology has provided us with means of adapting to social distancing guidelines. Many businesses are utilizing Zoom, FaceTime and other video technology to operate safely. You can contact any friends or family who have suffered a loss the same way to express your condolences without being in the same room.

 

3. Prepare Meals For the Family or Have Food Delivered

In the Jewish faith, it’s common to prepare meals of consolation for grieving families. The meal of consolation, also known as the meal of condolence, is one of the many ways in which we can help friends through their grief. To ease the stress of the mourning family, the community often provides them a a meal. So, both the presence of the food and the warm gesture contribute to the impact of the meal of condolence.

In addition, this can be a safe way to express your sympathy to a grieving family. You can send the meal to them without any physical interaction. Therefore, during this uncertain age of COVID-19, it’s an optimal way to send your condolences and pay your respects.

 

3. Plant a Tree In Their Memory

Planting a memorial tree for an individual is a safe and appropriate way to pay tribute to someone you’ve lost. This is a highly respected Jewish tradition for several life events and more specifically, it’s a way to honor the life and legacy of friends, family and those no longer present. Together with the planting of the tree, a memorial certificate will be created and sent to the family to honor their loved one and also express condolences.

 

Conclusion

While there will never be a substitute for human interaction, these can safely help you to show your support for grieving friends and family. Right now, we all have to make adjustments that feel counterintuitive. However, it’s of paramount importance to keep each other safe until COVID-19 is behind us entirely. At Fox Monuments, we’re still here to provide you with stunning and enduring custom Jewish headstones to honor your loved ones.