Jewish Memorial Traditions – Page 4

3 Important Readings for Jewish Mourners

Posted on December 26, 2019 - 4:00 pm by n2wnyx

When it comes to the Jewish stages of mourning as well as the memorial services, those bereaved from the loss of a loved one look to the Torah and other texts for guidance and wisdom. Rabbis encourage those coping with a loss to find healing in sacred Jewish literature. Additionally, the right poetry or writings can help those present at a memorial find solace in the words.

Following the death of a loved one, we find ourselves in a deep state of emotional and spiritual darkness. Finding the right readings for a Jewish memorial service is important. Much like the right headstone symbols, they can be an enormous comfort to those in attendance. Below, we’ve gathered some esteemed passages for Jewish memorial services. If you’re looking for the perfect words to honor your faith as well as your loved one’s life, take a look below for some inspiration.

1. Psalm 23

Out of the 150 psalms, the 23rd is the most widely recognized. It’s frequently recited at funerals and memorial services. Many who have attended Jewish memorial services in the past recognize it. In fact, even those who haven’t attended Jewish funerals often recognize it, as well.

Written by King David, Psalm 23 presents powerful themes of faith and divinity. King David describes God as a shepherd guiding us through “green pastures and still waters.” Many mourners find tremendous comfort in Psalm 23, which is why it’s so frequently spoken during memorial services:

“23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

23:2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

23:5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.”

2. “There Are Stars” by Hannah Senesh

Hannah Senesh was not just a gifted Jewish poet. She was also a renowned Jewish heroine who is celebrated to this day. Senesh was parachuted by British forces into Yugoslavia during World War II to assist in the rescue of Hungarian Jews. She was arrested at the Hungarian border and tortured for information. However, she refused to reveal the details of her mission. To this day, she is hailed as a national heroine and poet of Israel.

Hannah Senesh’s poem “There Are Stars” does not actually come from sacred Jewish texts. However, Senesh’s status as a Jewish heroine as well as the appropriate nature of the poetry has elevated it to a nearly sacred level. It’s a brief, but beautiful, meditation on death, loss and hope:

“There are stars whose radiance is visible on Earth though they have long been extinct.
There are people whose brilliance continues to light the world even though they are no longer among the living.
These lights are particularly bright when the night is dark.
They light the way for humankind.”

3. “Why?”

It’s undeniable that when we lose our loved ones, we suffer. It’s an unfortunate, but inevitable, part of life. A passage written by Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev is a perfect exploration and examination of that suffering we must endure when grieving.

“Why?” is a passage unique for its time – it comes across as a challenging of God. Yitzchak, in his writing, finds human suffering incomprehensible. Many who attend Jewish memorial services find consolation and solace in the words:

Eternal Presence of the world, I am not asking You
to show me the secret of your ways,
for it would be too much for me.
But I am asking You to show me one thing:
what is the meaning of the suffering
that I am presently enduring,
what this suffering requires of me,
and what You are communicating to me through it.
Eternal Presence of the world.
I want to know
not so much why I am suffering
but whether I am doing so for your sake.

Conclusion

At Fox Monuments, our top priority is to help families navigate dark and difficult times. We aim to make the entire experience as stress-free and smooth for you as possible. In addition, we collaborate with you to create a memorial that pays tribute to the life of your loved one.

By selecting the right words to read at a memorial service, you’ll be making an enormous contribution to the comfort and peace of those present. Any one of these passages can respectfully honor the life of your loved one.

Rending the Garments: What is Keriah?

Posted on November 21, 2019 - 5:58 pm by n2wnyx

This post has been updated from its original publication date of May 21st, 2018. It has been edited for consistency and updated information on our services.

Developing meaningful memorial customs is a natural step in overcoming grief after the death of a loved one. Among those who attend Jewish memorial services, it’s common knowledge that tearing garments is an important tradition. For years, rending the clothes was a physical representation of grief. Like unveiling Jewish monuments, it offers a way to mourn. Read on to learn more about this custom and the role it plays in Jewish mourning.

What Are the Origins of This Custom?

Jewish headstones used to be constructed by hand, which made the unveiling process more significant. The exact origin of this custom is unknown. However, there are several instances of this practice in ancient texts. For example, Jacob tore his clothing after noticing that Joseph’s multicolored coat had blood on it. After hearing about the death of King Saul, David ripped his clothing. FInally, Job tore his overcoat in many instances of grief.

Today, Jewish people carry on this custom. In fact, it may be as significant as designing Jewish monuments.

Why do Jewish People Rend Clothes?

In Jewish culture, rending the clothes is an outlet through which to express grief. Just as the Jewish monument helps the family to remember the deceased, rending the clothes helps the family to mourn. In a way, it allows people to concentrate destructive tendencies, without causing any physical or emotional consequences.

Rending the clothes also works on a somewhat symbolic level. In a way, it represents the destruction of one’s heart, as a result of this loss. In fact, this might have evolved from a Pagan tradition, where mourners would tear their flesh or hair. This would symbolize that the loss caused them great pain, and also destroyed a part of them.

Less common is the Talmud interpretation of rending the clothes. This rabbi-written text presents the argument that rending the clothes allows family members to expose their heart. Because children should always love their mother and father, exposing the heart demonstrates that they can no longer perform this duty in the same manner. Just as visiting Jewish monuments allows family members to remember those who have passed, rending the clothes allows for mourning.

Who Is Required to Rend Clothing?

Rending the clothing is considered to be a display of deep love, and consequently, sadness. So, generally only those who are extremely close to the deceased person rend their clothes. This includes children, parents, siblings, and the spouse.

There are, however, more guidelines about who may rend the clothing. In order to maintain the significance of the tradition, people who do not understand the significance of the custom do not participate. Most people over the age of 13 are considered mature enough to participate. Minors under this age who do understand this tradition are permitted to participate.

If the son- or daughter-in-law wishes to express grief by cutting the clothing, he or she may.

People who are grieving the loss of a parent traditionally make this tear with their hands, rather than scissors.

When do People Rend Clothing?

Much like visiting Jewish monuments, clothing rending can vary by family tradition. Some people may choose to do this after first learning about the death of the deceased. Others will do it at the burial site, before internment. Most traditionally, though, this takes place at the funeral home.

Standing during this process demonstrates strength during a trial.

People generally rend the garment they are wearing over other clothes– be it a jacket, vest, or something else.

Exemptions from Rending the Clothing

There are several exceptions to the general rule of rending the clothing. First, people who are observing the Sabbath are exempt from rending the clothing. However, they may do so after nightfall.

Those who are mentally incapable of understanding the gravity of the situation are not required to rend the clothing.

Brides and grooms, who are not expected to suspend their joy for any reason, are not required to participate in this custom.

Finally, those who are physically incapable of this act may receive assistance from another family member.

Jewish Monuments from Fox Monuments

At Fox Monuments, we appreciate the importance of Jewish memorial traditions. Our goal is to help all families experiencing a loss through the burial process quickly and easily. We can provide beautiful and meaningful Jewish monuments that will help you to remember your loved ones.

Cemetery Etiquette in Judaism

Posted on November 10, 2019 - 3:35 pm by n2wnyx

Jewish funeral etiquette concerns the practice of comforting friends and family during the memorial. But did you know that there’s also specific etiquette within a cemetery? This etiquette outlines the expected behavior within graveyards.

Judaism is a religion with deep historical roots. As a result, there are many specific customs and rituals when it comes to death.

Kalut Rosh (“Levity”)

A cemetery is considered a holy place in Judaism. In fact, it’s as sacred as a temple. Our conduct must be proper and dignified. Essentially, we must be as respectful as possible.

Kalut rosh means the “spirit of levity.” Basically, it’s unruly behavior. The “spirit of levity” is strictly prohibited. And it’s not just forbidden at a grave. It’s forbidden throughout the cemetery.

Those in a cemetery cannot eat or drink. It’s not allowed at the unveiling ceremony, either. This is considered of the highest disrespect. Eating or drinking violates the deceased’s honor.

Naturally, those who enter cemeteries are expected to dress properly. It’s viewed as disrespectful to wear casual, everyday clothing.

Sitting or stepping on a gravestone is also kalut rosh. It is not forbidden to take a seat inside a cemetery. However, it is insulting to sit or step on a gravestone.

Any flowers that grow within a cemetery are to be left there. Picking flowers from a cemetery is forbidden.

Lo’eg Larash (“Slighting of the Dead”)

The “slighting of the dead” describes doing things the dead once enjoyed. In addition, specific religious rituals are included.

Reciting the Psalms or conducting formal services is considered insulting. Another slight to the dead is bringing a Torah into a cemetery.

Essentially, forbidding lo’eg larash discourages anyone from enjoyable activities inside a cemetery.

Memorial Gifts

Not all cemetery etiquette describes forbidden behavior. In fact, gifts are encouraged after the burial. Those who wish to honor the dead may do so. Everyone is encouraged to give in a spirit of charity and generosity.

Anyone may bring a token of their esteem within a cemetery. A selfless, holy gesture is bringing an article of sacred text.

Another ancient Jewish tradition is making a donation after death. It’s viewed as a tribute to the deceased. Donations are usually made during shiva. However, they can be made at any point in the name of the deceased.

Conclusion

At Fox Monuments, we take pride in crafting monuments that honor the lives of Long Islanders. Judaism is rich with culture and history. Therefore, we create monuments that befit the lives of Jewish men and women.

Fox Monuments has served Long Island’s Jewish community for years. Mostly, we strive to help ease the stress and confusion that comes with the loss of a loved one. We aim to honor your loved one with a beautiful Jewish monument. In addition, we try to honor the rich history of Judaism in the process.

Jewish Funeral Ceremony and Burial Customs

Posted on July 1, 2019 - 7:58 pm by n2wnyx

Jewish religion and culture rely heavily on the unity of family. And, this custom extends into the grieving process as well. To abide by ancient customs, the Jewish funeral generally takes place as soon as possible after the death of a loved one. This helps the family to constructively process this grief, and move on with renewed strength thanks to love and support. In this blog post, we’ll describe the various parts of the Jewish funeral.

Jewish Funeral Traditions Depend on Local Customs

The location and structure of the funeral service can vary quite a bit depending on local traditions. However, this eventually proceeds to the burial site with the Jewish monument. The funeral service itself is generally held in one of five places:

The synagogue
The home of the deceased (or a family member)
A cemetery chapel
The funeral home

This practice tends to vary based on family and synagogue traditions.

The Jewish Funeral Ceremony

Like the location of the funeral service, the format of the funeral can vary as well. There is no one accepted structure, but most funerals have these elements.

The Tearing of the Clothing

Before the service begins, the mourners traditionally gather in a separate room and rend their clothing. This custom, called keriah, is a physical expression of the grief that the mourners are feeling. In many circles, rather than ripping the garments, mourners will instead place a black ribbon that signifies their loss on the clothing.

Verse Readings

The first portion of many Jewish funeral services involves reading from the Torah and other Jewish literature/scripture. These readings help to console family members and friends who are grieving. They also help family members to reflect on the time and experiences shared with the deceased. Psalms 23, 15, 24, 90, and 103 are common choices.

Eulogy

The eulogy generally follows the verse readings as the next phase of the Jewish funeral service. And, like the Jewish monument’s epitaph, the eulogy is personalized, and specific to the deceased individual.

During the eulogy, the speaker remarks on the significance and importance of the deceased individual. The family generally provides the rabbi with information about the deceased, so that the eulogy can be personal. They may discuss important moments spent with family, or their loving and devoted mindset. Highlighting personal accomplishments is another common part of eulogies.

It is also common for family members to eulogize their loved ones. In some circles, family members instead give eulogies during the home prayer service.

Memorial Prayer

The El Malei Rachamim prayer requests peace for the deceased individual from God, asking him to remember their righteous deeds. The congregation in attendance chants this prayer, affirming that the deceased is “sheltered beneath the wings of God’s presence.”

At the Site of the Grave

After chanting the memorial prayer in unison, the mourners then move to the site of the grave and the Jewish monument. This procession normally happens as a group. This procession normally stops either three or seven times to signify the mourners’ difficulty in saying goodbye.

Prayers at the Gravesite

Once the funeral procession has reached the gravesite and the Jewish monument, they then begin praying. This series of prayers may include the El Malei Rechamim, as well as other memorial prayers.

Mourner’s Kaddish

After the initial graveside prayers, the family in attendance then begins reciting the Mourner’s Kaddish. Instead of mentioning death, this prayer proclaims the family’s belief in God’s greatness and good will. While the Jewish monument will occasionally be installed, it is generally covered until the monument unveiling ceremony.

Burial

In accordance with the mitzvah of accompanying the dead for burial, the family contributes by throwing dirt into the grave. This symbolic gesture signifies the family’s devotion to being there for the deceased individual.

While the mourners depart, it’s considered proper etiquette for others in attendance to offer consoling remarks. From the cemetery, it’s traditional for the family to travel to the shiva home, where they eat the meal of consolation.

Jewish Monuments on Long Island

At Fox Monuments, we are dedicated to creating headstones that accurately commemorate your loved ones. Our team is always available to offer support and guide you through the decision making process.

Jewish Mourning Customs: The Meal of Consolation

Posted on November 15, 2018 - 9:44 pm by n2wnyx

The stages of mourning in Judaism are intended to help family members overcome the emotional challenge of losing a loved one. While the deceased individual is buried with the Jewish monument at the beginning of this process, these traditions continue beyond this moment. In fact, Jewish mourning customs such as the shiva help people to manage these difficult emotions for a long period of time. The meal of consolation, which has been an important Jewish ritual for years, is part of this process. Read on to learn more about how to plan the meal of consolation, and its role in the grieving process.

What is the Meal of Consolation?

The meal of consolation, also known as the meal of condolence, is one of the many ways in which family and friends help families through this difficult time. To ease the stress of the family, the community often provides a meal for the mourning family. So, both the presence of the food and the warm gesture contribute to the impact of the meal of condolence. This much-needed gesture can be quite comforting after burying a loved one with a Jewish monument.

When Does the Meal of Consolation Take Place?

After burying a deceased family member beneath a Jewish monument, most people are stricken with grief. This is understandable, especially for people who have many treasured memories with their loved ones. The meal of consolation takes place after this burial process, with the goal of easing these negative emotions.

Washing Hands Before the Meal of Consolation

Following the burial, most families retire to the home where the shiva will take place. Before entering the home, it is traditional to wash one’s hands with a pitcher of water, which is placed outside. This tradition is intended to remove any impurity that contact with the deceased may have caused. The home of the shiva is generally the first place people visit after departing from the Jewish monument.

Traditional Meal of Consolation Foods

Unlike other traditional meals, meal of consolation foods are not based on heritage. Instead, foods normally consumed during the meal of condolence should be round. This is because round foods represent the cycle of life, and how as one life ends, others continue. However, there are other foods that are normally included as well.

Bread or rolls: In addition to being round, bread and rolls also represent the essence of life. Many people across several civilizations have relied on bread and rolls for sustenance. This is significant during the Meal of Condolence.
Hard boiled eggs: Eggs are another staple of the meal of consolation. As eggs continue to boil, they gradually harden. This process mirrors the way that we must remain strong during a time of loss. The egg will also remain inside the shell, which reminds mourners to refrain from speaking of idle topics.
Lentils: As compared to many similar beans, lentils have no mouths or eyes. So, eating lentils symbolizes how people who have passed on cannot be seen, and people mourning a loss should not speak to others.
Beverages: While they do not carry the symbolic value that other dishes have, it’s also traditional to serve coffee, tea, and wine. However, mourners should do so only socially, and should not become drunk.

Who Participates in the Meal of Consolation?

Traditionally, the meal of consolation was reserved only for members of the family. The same was true for burial, the preceding service, and the Jewish monument unveiling one year later. In recent years, however, this has changed. Depending upon the preferences of the family, others may be invited to participate in the meal of consolation. Close friends and extended family should wait for an invitation, rather than assume they are invited to participate.

Create the Perfect Jewish Monument

At Fox Monuments, we understand the importance of purchasing the right Jewish monument for your loved one. Especially during this time of stress, our staff is here to provide everything you need. Our team of skilled Jewish monument artists can incorporate beautiful symbols and other imagery to create a fitting memorial. If you need a Jewish headstone for your loved one, contact us.

How is the Body Cleaned Before Burial With A Jewish Monument?

Posted on August 31, 2018 - 1:47 pm by n2wnyx

Burying the body as soon as possible after death is central to Jewish burial traditions. Doing so allows the family and friends of the deceased to begin their progression along the Jewish mourning process. But, before the body can be buried, it must be cleaned. This practice, called Taharah, is an important element of preparing for burial. In this blog post, we’ll discuss the spiritual significance of Taharah, and why the body should be cleaned before being buried with the Jewish monument.

What is Tahrah?

Taharah is the ancient practice of cleaning the body of a deceased Jewish person before burial. This cleaning process is performed by a trained individual.

While there are certainly hygienic benefits to washing the body before burial, Taharah is not a purely hygienic process. Rather, the primary goal is to prepare the body (and consequently, the spirit) for burial, and progression to the afterlife. So, when buried with the Jewish monument, the body has been fully prepared.

Who is Tasked with Cleaning the Body?

Cleaning the body in the Jewish funeral tradition is considered a high honor. And, it is not bestowed upon family members, or even close friends. Rather, individuals who are part of chevra kadisha societies are charged with cleaning the body of deceased individuals.

These societies do maintain and follow their own strict guiding procedures as well. First, people are only allowed to wash bodies of the same gender. Men may only wash men, and women may only wash women. This custom exists to maintain a level of modesty, even in death. To prevent additional grief during a time of extreme sadness, family members are not asked to participate in this tradition. Like the process of the rabbi leading the Kaddish prayer alongside the Jewish headstone, the chevra kadisha perform this prayer in a practiced manner.

The members of the chevra kadisha who are performing the ritual also recite prayers and psalms, with the goal of sending the spirit into the afterlife in a fully cleansed state. Once the body has been fully cleaned, the chevra kadisha place a prayer shawl or other religious garment over the body. While being buried beneath the Jewish headstone, the individual traditionally wears this garment.

In order to find members of the chevra kadisha in your area, you should consult your rabbi.

Who Watches the Body Before it is Cleaned?

From the time of death until the time of burial alongside the Jewish monument, the body of a deceased individual is never left alone. This custom, called Shemira, began as a way to prevent thieves and animals from tampering with the body. Now, it lives on as a way to show respect to and comfort the deceased, while also comforting the family.

The individual who guards the body is called a shomer. Shomers are either selected from a chevra kadisha, or from the congregation. While guarding the body of the deceased, shomers are restricted from eating, drinking, and other recreational activities, as a sign of respect.

So, before the body is washed by the chevra kadisha, it is watched over by one or several shomers. While this practice is not as common in modern times as it once was, Orthodox Jews generally still follow this tradition, along with the Jewish headstone unveiling tradition.

What is the Spiritual Significance of Washing the Body?

Taharah is also an expression of the cyclicality of life. Following birth, newborn children are washed, to attain a level of spiritual purity. Taharah enables deceased individuals to depart from this world with that same level of purity.

The process of the taharah reflects its spiritual importance. The individual performing the cleaning also recites prayers, asking God to forgive any sins committed by the deceased. These prayers also ask God to watch over the deceased.

Decorating the Casket

At one point in time, it was considered a common and respectful practice to place flowers next to the body. The scent of the flowers would offset the scent of the body, and create a more pleasant environment. However, this tradition is no longer associated with Judaism, and has become entirely a Christian custom. Rather than funding floral arrangements, many Jewish families request that donations be made in the name of the deceased.

During grave visitations, many Jews also refrain from bringing flowers to the Jewish monument. Instead, they generally decorate the headstone with rocks.

Understanding Jewish Monument Traditions

At Fox Monuments, we are prepared to help you through this process at every step of the way. Our experienced team will guide you through the memorial purchasing process, and give you the information you need to make informed decisions. Contact us to begin ordering a monument, or check out our selection.

History of Memorial Day

Posted on May 22, 2015 - 7:48 pm by n2wnyx

At Fox Monuments, we have great respect for everyone who has made it their purpose to serve our country. We have created countless memorials for veterans who, at some point in their lives, served our country. We have also built headstones to honor soldiers who have lost their lives in service of the military. Finally, we have created Jewish family monuments with specific symbols for families with an individual who served in the military. So, Memorial Day carries great importance to us. Read on to learn about the origins of Memorial Day, and how it is still significant to us today.

Civil War

The Civil War carries the unfortunate accolade of being the war that resulted in the most American deaths in history. As the only formal military conflict where Americans fought other Americans, it remains unmatched in death count even to this day. Following this conflict, families across the nation mourned for a long time. To honor their fallen soldiers, people in many towns held memorial services in the spring, saying commemorative prayers and decorating headstones.

One of these towns was Waterloo, NY. During the May of each year, there was a community-wide event in which businesses closed to join in commemorating soldiers who lost their lives during the Civil War. This tradition started in 1866.

In 1868, General John A. Logan, the leader of a veteran organization from the North, spread the idea of this day of remembrance across the nation. He referred to this day as “Decoration Day”, in which the community would decorate the graves of fallen soldiers with flowers. By 1890, each state recognized Decoration Day as a state holiday.

World War I

While the death count did not match the Civil War, World War I was another especially bloody conflict for the U.S. So, people sought to honor veterans of this conflict in a similar way. Instead of honoring only veterans of the Civil War, Decoration Day, now known as Memorial Day, honored veterans of all military conflicts.

In 1968, Congress passed a law making Memorial Day a federal holiday.

Some Southern states have a separate day of remembrance intended solely for soldiers who gave their lives for the Confederacy. Confederate Memorial Day is most prominent in Alabama, Mississippi, Florida and Georgia.

Modern Traditions

Even after time has passed, Memorial Day still remains a cornerstone of American culture. The solemn tradition of placing wreaths and flags on soldiers’ graves is still widely practiced. In Arlington National Cemetery, a cemetery located in Virginia, the president or vice president delivers a speech about the importance of respecting service men and women’s contributions, and places a wreath over a soldier’s grave. The playing of taps generally follows this.

Americans celebrate the contributions of soldiers in other ways, too. Many people hold Memorial Day barbeques, both as a way to give thanks to soldiers who have passed, and to start the summer.

Jewish Family Monuments

At Fox Monuments, we are dedicated to providing veterans with a respectful and fitting testament to their lives. We create Jewish family monuments and single memorials to pay tribute to their contributions. Contact us for more information about how we can create a monument suitable for you or your loved one.