3 Important Readings for Jewish Mourners

Posted on December 26, 2019 - 4:00 pm

When it comes to the Jewish stages of mourning as well as the memorial services, those bereaved from the loss of a loved one look to the Torah and other texts for guidance and wisdom. Rabbis encourage those coping with a loss to find healing in sacred Jewish literature. Additionally, the right poetry or writings can help those present at a memorial find solace in the words.

Following the death of a loved one, we find ourselves in a deep state of emotional and spiritual darkness. Finding the right readings for a Jewish memorial service is important. Much like the right headstone symbols, they can be an enormous comfort to those in attendance. Below, we’ve gathered some esteemed passages for Jewish memorial services. If you’re looking for the perfect words to honor your faith as well as your loved one’s life, take a look below for some inspiration.

1. Psalm 23

Out of the 150 psalms, the 23rd is the most widely recognized. It’s frequently recited at funerals and memorial services. Many who have attended Jewish memorial services in the past recognize it. In fact, even those who haven’t attended Jewish funerals often recognize it, as well.

Written by King David, Psalm 23 presents powerful themes of faith and divinity. King David describes God as a shepherd guiding us through “green pastures and still waters.” Many mourners find tremendous comfort in Psalm 23, which is why it’s so frequently spoken during memorial services:

“23:1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

23:2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

23:5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

23:6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.”

2. “There Are Stars” by Hannah Senesh

Hannah Senesh was not just a gifted Jewish poet. She was also a renowned Jewish heroine who is celebrated to this day. Senesh was parachuted by British forces into Yugoslavia during World War II to assist in the rescue of Hungarian Jews. She was arrested at the Hungarian border and tortured for information. However, she refused to reveal the details of her mission. To this day, she is hailed as a national heroine and poet of Israel.

Hannah Senesh’s poem “There Are Stars” does not actually come from sacred Jewish texts. However, Senesh’s status as a Jewish heroine as well as the appropriate nature of the poetry has elevated it to a nearly sacred level. It’s a brief, but beautiful, meditation on death, loss and hope:

“There are stars whose radiance is visible on Earth though they have long been extinct.
There are people whose brilliance continues to light the world even though they are no longer among the living.
These lights are particularly bright when the night is dark.
They light the way for humankind.”

3. “Why?”

It’s undeniable that when we lose our loved ones, we suffer. It’s an unfortunate, but inevitable, part of life. A passage written by Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev is a perfect exploration and examination of that suffering we must endure when grieving.

“Why?” is a passage unique for its time – it comes across as a challenging of God. Yitzchak, in his writing, finds human suffering incomprehensible. Many who attend Jewish memorial services find consolation and solace in the words:

Eternal Presence of the world, I am not asking You
to show me the secret of your ways,
for it would be too much for me.
But I am asking You to show me one thing:
what is the meaning of the suffering
that I am presently enduring,
what this suffering requires of me,
and what You are communicating to me through it.
Eternal Presence of the world.
I want to know
not so much why I am suffering
but whether I am doing so for your sake.

Conclusion

At Fox Monuments, our top priority is to help families navigate dark and difficult times. We aim to make the entire experience as stress-free and smooth for you as possible. In addition, we collaborate with you to create a memorial that pays tribute to the life of your loved one.

By selecting the right words to read at a memorial service, you’ll be making an enormous contribution to the comfort and peace of those present. Any one of these passages can respectfully honor the life of your loved one.

Rending the Garments: What is Keriah?

Posted on November 21, 2019 - 5:58 pm

This post has been updated from its original publication date of May 21st, 2018. It has been edited for consistency and updated information on our services.

Developing meaningful memorial customs is a natural step in overcoming grief after the death of a loved one. Among those who attend Jewish memorial services, it’s common knowledge that tearing garments is an important tradition. For years, rending the clothes was a physical representation of grief. Like unveiling Jewish monuments, it offers a way to mourn. Read on to learn more about this custom and the role it plays in Jewish mourning.

What Are the Origins of This Custom?

Jewish headstones used to be constructed by hand, which made the unveiling process more significant. The exact origin of this custom is unknown. However, there are several instances of this practice in ancient texts. For example, Jacob tore his clothing after noticing that Joseph’s multicolored coat had blood on it. After hearing about the death of King Saul, David ripped his clothing. Finally, Job tore his overcoat in many instances of grief.

Today, Jewish people carry on this custom. In fact, it may be as significant as designing Jewish monuments.

Why do Jewish People Rend Clothes?

In Jewish culture, rending the clothes is an outlet through which to express grief. Just as the Jewish monument helps the family to remember the deceased, rending the clothes helps the family to mourn. In a way, it allows people to concentrate destructive tendencies, without causing any physical or emotional consequences.

Rending the clothes also works on a somewhat symbolic level. In a way, it represents the destruction of one’s heart, as a result of this loss. In fact, this might have evolved from a Pagan tradition, where mourners would tear their flesh or hair. This would symbolize that the loss caused them great pain, and also destroyed a part of them.

Less common is the Talmud interpretation of rending the clothes. This rabbi-written text presents the argument that rending the clothes allows family members to expose their heart. Because children should always love their mother and father, exposing the heart demonstrates that they can no longer perform this duty in the same manner. Just as visiting Jewish monuments allows family members to remember those who have passed, rending the clothes allows for mourning.

Who Is Required to Rend Clothing?

Rending the clothing is considered to be a display of deep love, and consequently, sadness. So, generally only those who are extremely close to the deceased person rend their clothes. This includes children, parents, siblings, and the spouse.

There are, however, more guidelines about who may rend the clothing. In order to maintain the significance of the tradition, people who do not understand the significance of the custom do not participate. Most people over the age of 13 are considered mature enough to participate. Minors under this age who do understand this tradition are permitted to participate.

If the son- or daughter-in-law wishes to express grief by cutting the clothing, he or she may.

People who are grieving the loss of a parent traditionally make this tear with their hands, rather than scissors.

When do People Rend Clothing?

Much like visiting Jewish monuments, clothing rending can vary by family tradition. Some people may choose to do this after first learning about the death of the deceased. Others will do it at the burial site, before internment. Most traditionally, though, this takes place at the funeral home.

Standing during this process demonstrates strength during a trial.

People generally rend the garment they are wearing over other clothes– be it a jacket, vest, or something else.

Exemptions from Rending the Clothing

There are several exceptions to the general rule of rending the clothing. First, people who are observing the Sabbath are exempt from rending the clothing. However, they may do so after nightfall.

Those who are mentally incapable of understanding the gravity of the situation are not required to rend the clothing.

Brides and grooms, who are not expected to suspend their joy for any reason, are not required to participate in this custom.

Finally, those who are physically incapable of this act may receive assistance from another family member.

Jewish Monuments from Fox Monuments

At Fox Monuments, we appreciate the importance of Jewish memorial traditions. Our goal is to help all families experiencing a loss through the burial process quickly and easily. We can provide beautiful and meaningful Jewish monuments that will help you to remember your loved ones.

History of Memorial Day

Posted on May 22, 2015 - 7:48 pm

At Fox Monuments, we have great respect for everyone who has made it their purpose to serve our country. We have created countless memorials for veterans who, at some point in their lives, served our country. We have also built headstones to honor soldiers who have lost their lives in service of the military. Finally, we have created Jewish family monuments with specific symbols for families with an individual who served in the military. So, Memorial Day carries great importance to us. Read on to learn about the origins of Memorial Day, and how it is still significant to us today.

Civil War

The Civil War carries the unfortunate accolade of being the war that resulted in the most American deaths in history. As the only formal military conflict where Americans fought other Americans, it remains unmatched in death count even to this day. Following this conflict, families across the nation mourned for a long time. To honor their fallen soldiers, people in many towns held memorial services in the spring, saying commemorative prayers and decorating headstones.

One of these towns was Waterloo, NY. During the May of each year, there was a community-wide event in which businesses closed to join in commemorating soldiers who lost their lives during the Civil War. This tradition started in 1866.

In 1868, General John A. Logan, the leader of a veteran organization from the North, spread the idea of this day of remembrance across the nation. He referred to this day as “Decoration Day”, in which the community would decorate the graves of fallen soldiers with flowers. By 1890, each state recognized Decoration Day as a state holiday.

World War I

While the death count did not match the Civil War, World War I was another especially bloody conflict for the U.S. So, people sought to honor veterans of this conflict in a similar way. Instead of honoring only veterans of the Civil War, Decoration Day, now known as Memorial Day, honored veterans of all military conflicts.

In 1968, Congress passed a law making Memorial Day a federal holiday.

Some Southern states have a separate day of remembrance intended solely for soldiers who gave their lives for the Confederacy. Confederate Memorial Day is most prominent in Alabama, Mississippi, Florida and Georgia.

Modern Traditions

Even after time has passed, Memorial Day still remains a cornerstone of American culture. The solemn tradition of placing wreaths and flags on soldiers’ graves is still widely practiced. In Arlington National Cemetery, a cemetery located in Virginia, the president or vice president delivers a speech about the importance of respecting service men and women’s contributions, and places a wreath over a soldier’s grave. The playing of taps generally follows this.

Americans celebrate the contributions of soldiers in other ways, too. Many people hold Memorial Day barbeques, both as a way to give thanks to soldiers who have passed, and to start the summer.

Jewish Family Monuments

At Fox Monuments, we are dedicated to providing veterans with a respectful and fitting testament to their lives. We create Jewish family monuments and single memorials to pay tribute to their contributions. Contact us for more information about how we can create a monument suitable for you or your loved one.